Author: Jason Zerbey

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Hard Stuff Out of Nowhere

Tonight got weird.

My younger son revealed that he had learned an interesting fact about his birth date from another home educated boy.

It turns out my son was born the same day Osama Bin Laden was kiled. So after s’mores and a shower and just before bed, we start a deep dive into the events of 9/11.

I wasn’t ready for it, I was tired from a long day of hiking amd adventuring.

The most important learning happens when you don’t want it.

I didn’t know how far to go, but they knew more than I expected and led the conversation with their questions.

It didn’t last long, but it was emotionally taxing. Once they got into bed, I returned to the Tiny Estates communal fire to decompress. A couple had sat to make their own s’mores and I thought they’d let me peacefully punch out my blog post.

We exchanged pleasantries and I couldn’t resist further conversation. In a strange and awkward couple of sentences I used the words “wife” and “girlfriend.” Woof. “Okay, I’m just going to throw this out so I’m not dancing around: I lost my wife in February of 2018.”

“Um, we both lost our spouses. We’ve been together seven years and married for four.”

I’m reeling from the meaning of this chance meeting. I’m blessed by meeting people who have thrived through traumas.

Today was all about Jordan Peterson’s Ninth Rule: Assume That The Person You Are Listening To Might Know Something You Don’t.

Earlier in the day I had a long chat with a grandmother on a sunny hike. We connected on Christian values of service and ministry, honoring God’s chosen path for oneself, and living an adventurous life. Then I discovered how my sons were learning through their friends. Then I discovered a deeper, if still awkward, bravery in talking with more strangers.

It’s enough to catalog it all for now. Understanding it is too much.

God bless, I appreciate and thank you,

Jason

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Yes, It’s a Lifestyle

I’ve seen and heard a lot of questions about how much time is involved in unschooling.

We don’t log hours because we’ve made every moment ripe for learning. We don’t have a school “year” because our lives are full of learning experiences.

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DIY Socializing

Creativity is key to all homeschoolers. When there isn’t a program, field trip, or tour in line with our educational interests, we start making calls and coordinating with local resources to make it happen.

Socializing is the same way. There are tons of groups on Facebook that help to organize get togethers. In a time when each family’s risk assessment levels are particular, new groups with specific mask and social distancing policies are appearing.

Can’t find the group that fits your precautions? Start one and mention it in other local groups. I guarantee there are like-minded folks who want to meet.

A friend and I recently found ourselves as the only ones showing up to a well-established home education group. Our choices did not fit with others in the group. My friend took it on herself to start a new group specifically stating that masks and social distancing were optional. I supported her and pushed the new group in other home education threads.

The first meeting had eight families and we’ve been steady or better than that for weeks. We’ve made friends and we’re building a support structure for new and veteran homeschoolers.

The best part is to watch dozens of kids running around, enjoying themselves. It is, after all, the reason we do all this creative work.

God bless, I appreciate and thank you,

Jason

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Unschooling and Emotional Healing

This week marked my wedding anniversary. My sons aren’t aware of that fact directly, but we’ve noticed Mary’s absence more in recent weeks.

I don’t know why exactly, but I’m watching and listening to them (and myself) everyday.

It’s one of the unexpected blessings of home education. I get to observe and learn about my children and their emotional states like few parents can.

When they lost their mother, I was there everyday and nothing was unusual or new about that. We were accustomed to being around one another all day and riding the highs and lows of life. We were able to adjust the things we couldn’t manage without her and maintain most of our daily activities.

We get to heal together and there’s no hiding of pain.

That can mean a pressure cooker of emotions at times, but we always come out stronger for the adversity.

God bless, I appreciate and thank you,

Jason

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Encouragement

Whether you started home educating your child today, ten days ago, or ten years ago, you may be feeling the weight of mistakes.

It’s okay. You love your child and each moment is a new opportunity for learning in a caring environment.

Be kind to yourself. You are all that your child needs.

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Little, Unexpected Adventures

The learning lifestyle is less about finding “teachable moments” and more about allowing the time and space for learning to happen.

What was just going to be a birthday treat of water ice for a neighbor friend quickly turned into a tour of our local Free Little Libraries.

As we enjoyed our sweets, we traded notes on the neighborhood book exchanges. We discovered that we hadn’t all visited the myriad options within walking distance. Once we were fully sugared up, we explored our corner of the world.

At our last stop, I sat down in the shade to check messages and take a break from discussing the little library’s contents. After a few quiet moments, I found all three children diving deep into books. The picture above is a true candid, a remarkable moment. The choices were all nonfiction and the quiet didn’t last long. They each wanted to share their new knowledge, out loud, at the same time.

And I found a book on grammar that has been on my radar for years, Eats, Shoots and Leaves.

Sunshine, water ice, and spontaneous learning…I’d say this “school” year is off to a smashing start.

God bless, I appreciate and thank you,

Jason

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Sunday Gratitudes

This one isn’t focused on the learning lifestyle, but that is one huge blessing in my life that fuels many of the others. I’m doubly blessed that I have no doubts that my late wife wanted this educational path for our sons for as long as it will work for them.

As a widower, I became more deeply grateful for my girlfriend this weekend. We were watching a movie without the boys and there were death and funeral scenes. There was a handsome lead who lost his father in adulthood. A wave of sadness overcame me as I thought of how much Mary deserved to see her sons grow into men.

I don’t know how Maureen, my girlfriend, handles these things so well. She accepts this part of me, this other woman who I miss dearly. She is there for me in these confusing moments where the past clashes with the present and future.

When I have this intense internal conflict, it is beautiful to know that her patient caring is there for me.

God bless, I appreciate and thank you,

Jason

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Learning Lifestyle: A Day Off

My sons slept in.

I celebrated 32 coffee-free days with an affogato with my girlfriend.

The boys joined a friend’s birthday party for slip-and-slide fun.

We turned our brains off and enjoyed a sunny pre-fall day.

We generally have very busy Satudays. It was nice to take one off and rejuvenate ourselves.

God bless, I appreciate and thank you,

Jason

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This one is not for Doomers.

One of the reasons I have trouble thinking COVID-19 is a global conspiracy is what is happening in the public school system.

—
Caveats:

1. I listen to conspiracy theorists, they often share information that injures the gatekeepers of knowledge (government, corporate media); and therefore, will not make it into “reputable” sources.

2. I don’t need a conspiracy to know that government will take every opportunity to assume more power. This is a basic human desire and when alternative incentives are reduced, it is driven by the survival instinct.
—

At the very least, this is a terribly thought out conspiracy.

With school shutdowns, many people are being forced to consider homeschooling. This has never been the case before. Almost every pre-COVID discussion I’ve had with parents who have chosen public/private school starts with a remedial course on homeschooling.

Now, people are being exposed to the principles every day. Some are engaging to varying degrees and many more are seeing their friends and family try a different educational path.

Ultimately, fewer children will be returning to the classroom. Whether it’s those who love virtual/remote learning, radical unschoolers, or the infinite rainbow between, schools will look differently.

I’ve been concerned with what that will mean for the home education community, but as our ranks grow, we are sure to gain strong champions for the cause of educational freedom.

This postive change of perspective was inspired by the following conversation:

Tom Woods Interviews Jeff Deist on Silver Linings from the COVID Dystopia

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Waking up to the Machine

“You know they went after King when he spoke out on Vietnam/
He turned the power to the have-nots
and then came the shot”

-Rage Against the Machine, “Wake Up”

Rage and my father planted the seeds for my unschooling journey. Those high school years were where I started to turn away from the ways of this world and seek my own path.

My father told me I’d be an N-word as long as I was dependent on the system. As a sensitive teen, it was hard for me to hear, much less understand. Rage Against the Machine said much the same, but with a religious ferocity that I felt in my soul.

I’m not the only kid who felt the Holy Spirit move me in a mosh pit. Those were religious gatherings, whether we admitted it or not. For all the anti-religious fervor I heard from metal stages in the 90s, those experiences opened my mind to power that was beyond the physical. Music in itself is a mystery of connection that runs deeper than our understanding of it.

Hearing this verse tonight as I shared The Matrix with my sons for the first time, I was inspired by the memory of my rebel self being encouraged by lyrics I often disagreed with. Even Rage can’t seem to get it right as they lionize a deeply conservative religious leader such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

But the second line is what has both lifted me in recent years and yet, weighs on me, “He turned the power to the have-nots / and then came the shot.”

Unschooling turns the power to the have-nots. It’s been my greatest honor to get out of the way of these amazing humans growing before me.

We’re in an amazing age of educational discovery. As optimistic and outspoken as I am about the learning lifestyle, I never imagined a flood into homeschooling such as we’re seeing now. It is wonderous to see so many families discovering the joys and it is heartbreaking to witness the inevitable turmoil as educational paradigms shift.

And then came the shot.

There is danger in empowering the have-nots. Politicians, bureaucrats, and those who profit from their systems do not want their power diluted by free minds. People are learning that they do not need the government to educate their children. As I went through this exact realization, I asked myself, “What else can regular people do without government?” This dangerous question is never asked in school, but millions of families may be asking it right now.

There is no Federal legislation on homeschooling and in states like Delaware, parents are left without burdensome regulations when it comes to educating their own. It’s not easy, but there is freedom in that. The diversity (of all sorts) in the home education community is a testament to how people from all walks of life can work together without being forced to do so.

I’m here to sing the praises of that freedom and defend it. I’m here to honor the homeschool community and cheerlead as it grows. I pray to God that He will give me the strength and the voice to turn the power to the have-nots.

God bless, I appreciate and thank you,

Jason