No Losing, Just Learning

Someone tried to step on this child’s dreams this weekend.

It nearly broke my heart.

This morning I watched this match from Sunday. Westen’s opponent is bigger and stronger. He has an advantage position early on that leveraged his weight against Westen’s.

Westen’s skill and speed are significant in his game, but he’s got deeper qualities that make him unstoppable through wins and losses.

He doesn’t give up, he doesn’t stop believing in the win, he doesn’t stop working. After physically and mentally crushing losses he’s asked, “When’s the next tournament?” He doesn’t know how to lose, he only knows how to learn. And damn if he doesn’t learn quickly.

I’m sure he was listening to the other coach (I was standing behind him, his voice is clear on the video). We’ve noticed that kids will follow coach instructions literally and immediately, giving Westen an easy way to predict the next opening.

But it’s not tactics that give Westen this win. It’s the opponent’s coach. “Not that, don’t do that, oh, don’t do that,” with laughter from the sideline. This kid’s lifeline, the one thing he trusted to get him the win, laughing and giving up. Westen’s a shark hungry for hesitation and indecisiveness. He uses his speed to take a stronger position (one he says he’s never tried), then slows down to work the breath out of his opponent. He takes his little frame and presses every ounce of it deep into the earth, planting his foe beneath him. By the time he losses his balance and the kid gets up, Westen is watching the him turn blue and silently praying he’ll tap.

It’s a brutal exercise, to play a game that is more real than any other I know. I can’t help but think that his body was acting out against the person who tried to muscle his dreams away. He may not have the tools to verbally justify a dream that would be impossible for an earlier generation, but he has the heart, potential, and work ethic to overcome seemingly insurmountable opposition.

To the point on coaching: Kevin from Elevated Studios has coached both boys in competition and his style is so right for them. He’s soft spoken, minimalist in direction, only talks about the next move, and trusts. They know it and trust him back. His tone is even and he never betrays a lack of confidence in the chance for a win.

I needed this video. I forget that my sons don’t need me barking out every move or deriding their mistakes. They need my trust and love. They are powerful on their own. If I’m a quiet, trusting coach, no one can crush them. They can’t lose, they can only learn.

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason

Delaware Fun-A-Day 13: Battlebots Arena

The youngest Zerbey strikes again!

I need brainstorming notes, verbal planning, external inspiration, piles of sorted elements to decide on colors, and all types of prep to get going on a build.

At eight years old, Isaac simply builds. He saw a Youtube video of a show I loved, Battlebots, and ran with the idea of the tank-shaped bot. I loved it and suggested an arena, offering to help build it. “I got a plan, Dad.” Then he went into a trance and threw this scene together (big brother was recruited for the referee, he’s the resident minifigure expert).

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason

Z3 Adventures: 3 Dog Garage

I’m not a “car guy” in the classic sense. I love attending everything from drag racing on the beach or asphalt to monster trucks and NASCAR races, but I don’t know makes, models, and history.

That’s why it was such a thrill to be among experts at 3 Dog Garage today. Many of the cars on display have raced and some currently still do. There’s an energy in a building full of beautiful machines and art with hardly a dividing line between the two.

With polite requests, my sons were allowed to sit in a few of these gorgeous beasts.

The neon sign came from a restaurant in California and was a stunning highlight of the third floor gallery.

I was impressed by Ross Myers’ library and dreamed of having something similar one day.

Myers’ first car became his national award winner, “First Love.” It’s accented by this powerful symbol of love throughout the design.

I’m intent on finding the artist responsible for the pop art pieces featuring Audrey Hepburn, Elvis, Steve McQueen, and Marilyn Monroe. They are fun, inventive, and hold lots of exciting surprises.

On par, we were nearly the last group out of the museum. It’s a rare treat to visit this special place and we squeezed all we could out of it.

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason

My Best Valentine’s Day

And I’m taking all the credit.

Not long ago I was afraid of my passion for life. It started with sadness and crying. I bottled up these inconvenient things and subsequently made myself more shallow across the emotional spectrum.

It took widowhood and parenting two boys who had lost their mother for me to embrace the depth of my pain. I did it for them at first, to model acceptance that it was okay to be sad. I learned that I was to find myself again in those deep, dark places.

Grief took its turns dragging me down into the black and I recognized a greater light each time it let me up for air.

The sun shines brighter on this day than any before it because I know how dark the night can be.

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason

Delaware Fun-A-Day: Open Loveshop

#ItAintAWorkshop

Today we expanded our Delaware Fun-A-Day project to include other homeschoolers and friends. We opened up our Lego Loveshop to showcase those who share our passion for the learning lifestyle.

Nothing was finished today, but much was started.

I look forward to sharing more creations as February progresses.

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason

Delaware Fun-A-Day 10: The Lion Sun

I’m angry with the mocking Snow Moon. Delaware hasn’t seen a snowfall worth a ball all winter and this full moon was accompanied by a cold bath for my son and more rain.

As the rain persisted and I was stuck home all day getting our hot water heater replaced, I built an antidote inspired by Delaware Art Museum’s Chinese New Year celebration: The Lion Sun.

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason

Not According to Plan

My sons got up for adventures in the night and fell asleep on the floor of our living room. They wouldn’t be woken for church, okay no big deal, if we don’t honor and care for our bodies we can’t honor and care for God. I eventually rallied them for a Chinese New Year celebration at Delaware Art Museum, but the younger stayed cranky…for five hours. The only thing to sort him out was time back in our home neighborhood with his friends.

I was wiped out from trying to please him and napped before discovering that our water heater was leaking somewhat dramatically. At the same time I learned a close friend was having heating issues and could use my help. This all hit the fan as I was due to go to a soccer game this evening. Fortunately, we played our butts off and I escaped my responsibilities for a good 55 minutes. My girlfriend let me use her shower after the game and my boys and I got home safely, all blessings. I really wanted to teamwork on our Delaware Fun-A-Day at some point today. I was still hopefully pushing the idea as we got home, but my sons had not yet decided to be cooperative.

We’ll have to catch up on our Lego art projects, a busted water heater, and a friend in need tomorrow. Instead of pushing to tonight, I’m recognizing my limits and taking care of myself.

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason