Author: Jason Zerbey

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GriefShare Made Me Do It

GriefShare is an amazing, Christian organization that brings together those who have lost loved ones and helps them walk through the grieving process. One of the exercises they suggest is to write a “grief letter” to those around you to explain what you need. What proceeds is my attempt.

Dear Friends and Family,

I lost Mary almost seven months ago. I have goals that may seem impossible. I have a lot of optimism. I have the brazenness to imagine a life that is bigger and better than the one I had with Mary. It is not a dishonor to that life. Mary taught me and showed me how to be a greater man, husband, and father. If I don’t apply those lessons, then I let them die with her.

I’ll never “replace” Mary. She will be in my heart always. She will be my sons’ mother always. She will remain a model for the way I wish to treat people. But, I am lonely.

You’re seeing parts of me that only Mary knew. Things from inside me that were just for her. Every joke on Facebook and every picture I share, those are moments that I don’t know what to do with now.

You’re also seeing parts of me that are growing, taking form. I’ve never known a loneliness like this, I can’t recall being unhappy just because I was alone at all. When I’m writing I can pause and think of a careful way to express this new set of emotions. When I’m speaking I can work through complex emotions quickly, but I’m much less careful. I need your patience and understanding in these moments. 

I need you to understand that I have different needs and desires and that honestly exploring those feelings is a critical part of my healing.

I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to utter an insensitive phrase. But, it is going to happen and I daresay I’ve been on the receiving end of many more unintended daggers.

There has to be something good about this new life. Not just the good things that are left from the old life. I have to joke and smile and be Jason Michael Zerbey all the way. I have to hope and dream and work my butt off to turn those into reality. I have to be allowed to screw up along the way. I’m not very good at that. Too often, I’m playing life like it’s the last ten minutes of a soccer match and we’re down one goal. Win or lose, I have to let that match finish and prepare for the next.

Don’t ever think I’m “moving on.” Mary fundamentally changed me for the better, but she didn’t set me in stone. I’m carrying on, not only because I’m English, but because I intend to carry all the lessons and love of my life forward into the next chapter.

God bless,
Jason

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Legoland’s Home School Weeks

Legoland Discovery Center at Plymouth Meeting Mall is a must for any Lego Maniac. Home educators have the benefit of being able to visit attractions like this during quieter hours. In the coming weeks (September 10 – 14 and 17 – 21), Legoland will host their Home School Weeks, providing discounted admission and Educational Workshops at no extra cost.

Legoland offers hours of building, playing, learning, entertaining, and downright fun. The variety of activities (laser dodging, challenge building, race car construction, reflex games, padded play zone, 4-D movie theater, free building, and more) offer children the chance to exercise their energy between sit-down build sessions. 

What-A-Great-Experience Education Workshop


Go with friends or make some there as collaborative building can lead to simple masterpieces like this.

And don’t forget to bring your minifigures for trading! They don’t have to have the 5 components discussed in the Minifigure Swap Monday post, but I still like to take figures that are in good shape as other children may be interested. This is how it works: Every employee has at least one Lego minifigure on his or her name tag and must trade with anyone who asks. It may seem weird to get close enough to see what is there, but they’re used to it. I enjoy this especially as the children get to interact with the employees and often end up in fun conversations. And every once in a while, there’s an enthusiastic trader who has a secret stash of figures they may be willing to trade. Don’t just take your construction worker because you have ten of them, you may want to bring something a little fancier in case you get a chance to find something special.

You will come away with some cool new little guys and there is no limit, so fill those pockets.

Check out the schedule for workshops and plan your trip. Don’t forget some type of home education documentation. They’re not strict, but it’s a good idea to be prepared.

God bless,
Jason

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Lego in Delaware Libraries – September 2018

We are fully addicted Lego Maniacs now and that mania was born at Hockessin Library‘s Lego Club. It runs every Tuesday in September, 4:30-5:30 pm. This where I got to see my sons explore piles of bricks and build whatever came to mind. We still visit occasionally and I love watching the children build together, many of them winding down from a busy school day. It’s also gratifying to watch parents and caregivers assisting and, sometimes, building on their own.

Thursday, September 6th, 2:00 – 4:00 pm, Frankford Public Library will have their bricks out for building while participants watch The Lego Ninjago Movie.

Friday, September 7th, 10:30 – 11:15 am, Brandywine Hundred Library‘s Lego Storytime will focus on early childhood literacy and problem solving skills. My sons love to recreate and extend stories with their bricks.

Saturdays, September 8th and 22nd, 1:00 – 2:00 pm, South Coastal Library‘s Lego Club is for children 6 to 11 and requires preregistration by stopping by or calling the library at 302-539-5231.

Kirkwood Library will host a full morning of building fun Saturday, September 9th, with Lego Brick Club (ages 5+), 10:00 – 11:00 am; Lego Brick Club Jr. – Free Play (all ages), 11:00 am – 12:00 pm; and STREAMer Kids Club (ages 7+) featuring Lego, littleBits, Goldieblox, Minecraft, Makey Makey and more, 11:30 am – 12:30 pm.

Sunday, September 9th, 2:00 – 3:00 pm, Woodlawn Library‘s Builders Club will have Lego,  Bill Ding Balancing Blocks, Magformers and littleBits available for imaginative children ages 5 to 12.

Mondays, September 10th, 17th, and 24th, 3:00 – 5:00 pm, Brandywine Hundred Library‘s Lego Club is the place to be. Miss Katherine provides themes each week, but free building is encouraged for all ages. This program is dear to us as it was born out of local efforts by home educators working with this great library.

Wednesdays, September 12th and 26th, 3:30 – 4:30 pm, Claymont Library hosts their Lego Club for ages 4 and up.

Wednesday, September 12th, and Friday, September 28th, 6:30 -8:00 pm, feature a monthly building project at Newark Free Library‘s Library Lego Land Club for ages 5 to 10.

Saturday, September 15th, 2:00 – 4:00 pm, Bear Library‘s Lego Club is directed at children ages 6 to 12. And Delaware City Library‘s Lego Club will have themed building for a similar age range, 2:00 – 3:00 pm.

Monday, September 17th, 6:00 – 8:00 pm, Bear Library‘s Lego WeDo Robotics Club just went on my personal calendar. I’m coaching a FIRST Lego League Jr. team this season and I’m looking to learn more about WeDo, an introductory build-and-program system.
Registration required at the Kids desk or call (302) 838-3300.


Tuesday, September 18th, 6:30 – 7:30 pm, Appoquinimink Community Library‘s Lego Club requests registration through this link for ages 5-11. There will be construction challenges and free building.

Wednesday September 19th, 3:30 – 5:00 pm, Frankford Public Library‘s Lego Open Build will feature just that: open building!

Wowzers. Lego is expensive and none of these programs will cost you a dime. If your local library doesn’t have a Lego program, just ask. Many of them have a bin of bricks that aren’t being utilized. Maybe even step up and volunteer to host one yourself. You’ll be amazed at what children create.

God bless and happy building,
Jason

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One Year on a Long Road

I’ve written plenty about my faith here.

But perhaps I haven’t written enough about how my wife and sons and I accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior twelve months ago. I was the last of us to see the light. Mary and my boys came to faith easily. I gave myself a harder road. But I never treated it lightly. I never used double punctuation. I never intended to insult the faithful, although I’m sure I did many times.

God has gifted me my whole life. I chose not to give full credit for a long time. I started to wake up when I met a girl far out of my league and fell in love. I’d been in love before, but this was sweeter, easier, more honest, closer to faith than I had ever been. Then we had our own little miracles: marriage, an unlikely career, children, and boats more love.

Even with the terrible inadequacy of the English word “love,” I don’t know a better way to describe what transformed me. Love expanded like the universe in all directions, with every hug, kiss, pot of coffee made, load of laundry done, smile, laugh, note left, gallery visited, trail hiked, fire stoked, mistake forgiven, dance, stripe earned, crisis averted, party executed, and on and on I saw love grow each day. The eternal was working in our lives and we were a part of it.

My wiring doesn’t allow me to learn lessons without some work. After Christmas 2016, I set myself to study the Bible and find out if faith in Jesus was right for me or if I was even capable of it. I joined a study group, started reading on my own, listened to commentaries, and openly and honestly discussed my trepidation in many internal conversations.

I joined that study group almost exactly one year before Mary first got sick. God knew I was a hard nut to crack; he gave me 38 years, but that last year with Mary in my life was the most important. Before I knew I had found that faith I was at Bible study and getting a little nervous that I’d soon be unmasked as a non-Christian (I’m not proud of concealing that, but I didn’t want my knowledge journey to be a focus). The group leader asked me, “As a Christian…” I don’t recall what the question was, but I had a small eruption inside of me, that feeling you have on a first date when you know you’re not getting a second date. Then it was gone. Jesus settled that storm and I answered the question. After months of working my brain, my heart let it happen.

I believe wholeheartedly in the Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. A lot of it is hard to understand and I certainly don’t understand half of it. I haven’t and will not stop studying. I’ve known the Holy Ghost to be working in my life for a very long time. I worked through more than a couple belief systems to come to monotheism. The Son, Jesus Christ, was my stumbling block, I found him in scripture and now find Him the most accessible model and guide for my life. I know… “Monotheism AND the Trinity!” I am still asking questions and excited to engage in any honest debate.

As I look back on my first year as a Christian I see a soul that can now find peace in the most treacherous of times. I’m connected to the eternal and to the now. I’ve got a permanence in my life that was impossible without faith in God. I’ve got work to do here on Earth, but this is not where I will come to rest.

God bless,
Jason

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Lego Store Calendar Breakdown – September 2018

Each month, The Lego Store releases a calendar of in-store and online promotions. A PDF of September’s calendar can be downloaded here. The online promotions offer extra VIP points and bonus items for specific purchases and early access to more in-demand sets.

It’s a good idea to join the Lego VIP Loyalty Program as much of what is discussed in this article will require this free membership.

August 6 – September 30th describes the in-store building promotion. This is a fun bin of Lego elements designed to excite you about the theme of the moment. Nothing to take home, but a chance to see some of the elements you might find in your next set.

September 11 – 12 are the dates for the VIP Monthly Mini Model Build. You must have a VIP account and the builder(s) must be between 6 and 14 years of age. Registration opens online here on the 15th of the previous month. Slots begin at 3:00 pm and continue on to closing. These models can be taken home and the program is free. If you make a monthly habit of this one you can grow an eclectic little collection in no time.

The third or fourth Monday features my favorite Lego program: Minifigure Swap Monday! This is also for ages 6-14, but a guardian can participate as long as he or she is polite with the staff and lets the children do the real choosing. This is a free program in which children can refresh their minifig collection by trading with the store’s (and sometimes an employee’s) grab bag of minifigs. A “minifigure” consists of five elements: head, torso, legs, headpiece (hat/hair/helmet/etc.), and accessory (anything carried in its hand or on its back). You do not have to stick to a theme for your offering, but this is a generous program and please consider that other children may be excited to find what you have left. Don’t bring in dirty, scratched, or broken elements.

We were rather fortunate on our last trade and walked away with a couple brand new Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts minifigs as well as Superman’s dad!

September 19 features an exciting build-and-take magic wand. You do not need to be a VIP member, but you do have to stop in the store or call (Christiana Mall Lego Store: 302-453-1897) to register beginning September 1. On weekdays, build times are usually 5:00 pm-7:00 pm. On weekends, the events often run 10:00 am-12:00 pm. Registration for these build-and-take events always opens on the 1st of the same month. Ages 6-14.

The Lego Life Meetings offer a chance to build the September Mini Model Build, make it your own creation, and enter it in a contest to win one of two $50 Lego Store gift cards. These events cost $10 per child ages 6-14. Registration opens on the 1st of the previous month (August 1st in this case). 

August 13 – October 7 describes another in-store building promotion. This one is a little different and a bit more fun as you can display your creation right in the store.

Almost all of these programs are free. Yes, they’re designed to get you in the store and buy something; however, if you regularly visit the store and don’t buy your children something, they will learn that a lot of enjoyment can be had without opening mom or dad’s wallet.

God bless and happy building,
Jason

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“I’m gonna push my life today”

Music is a minefield. I often come close to that idiot teenager who thought every song was mocking him when he got dumped.

Lenny Kravitz’s “Push,” has a lot more than a couple lines that hit home. It doesn’t speak to every moment I live, but it accurately describes my current mindset. Things aren’t easy, but I’m trusting in God and determined to push through each day. I get up early and I see the Kingdom past the beasts and the darkness.

Also, Mary would really dig shirtless Lenny in the video.

Push

It’s barely morning
Cars are roaring
The city’s moving fast


My momma’s calling
But I’m stalling
Living in the past


It’s time to face the world in front of me
And make the best of this reality


I’m gonna push my life today
Push to make a better way
Gonna push ’cause I got to carry on


I’m gonna push the clouds away
Push so I can see the way
Gonna push until I find my way home


The jungle’s swarming
Beasts are crawling
They’re all along my path


But God’s adoring,
Love is pouring
I’m gonna take a bath


I am swimming in a violent sea
Trying to find out who I’m gonna be


I’m gonna push my life today
Push to make a better way
Gonna push ’cause I got to carry on


I’m gonna push the clouds away
Push so I can see the way
Gonna push until I find my way home


I can feel it come together
I know God has a plan, oh yeah


Oh, I see the kingdom through the shadows
But it’s all gonna pass
I’m gonna push
‘Cause my Lord ain’t gonna let it last


I’m gonna push my life today
Push to make a better way
Gonna push ’cause I got to carry on, oh yeah


I’m gonna push the clouds away
Push so I can see the way
Gonna push until I find my way home
I’m gonna push ’till my Lord brings me home


Oh oh, oh yeah
‘Till I find my way home

-Lenny Kravitz

God bless,

Jason

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A Vision of Great Hair

heaven GIF

I haven’t had more than two dreams about Mary since her passing. As vividly fantastical and confusing as my dreams have been, sleep has been a safe harbor from direct memory.

I have had waking visions. The most poignant was when I witnessed Mary’s soul going to Heaven. As her annual Dewey Beach Girl’s Weekend approaches, I’d like to tell you about another one that’s a bit more fun.

It’s pretty simple. From a distance I saw Mary standing with Jesus, looking off in the other direction. As the scene drew nearer I noticed some interesting details of Jesus’s appearance. He was broad-shouldered and bare-chested. His long hair was up in a man bun. I never saw their faces, but I know her smile was also broad, holding back that laugh. She was letting me know that she’s just fine, that being with Jesus is even better than we dreamed.

God bless,
Jason

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Loud, Dirty, Stinky Education

dirt traction GIF

Demolition derbies, dirt tracks, drag races, stock cars, monster trucks…these are the things that excite children young and old.

Our area is hosting some amazing motor sports events between September 13th and 16th. 

To kick-off the weekend, FirstEnergy Stadium in Reading, Pennsylvania will be home to the Mopar Mega Block Party on Thursday the 13th. This free event starts at 4:00pm with monster truck rides and a car crush by Raminator and will include everything from race simulators to a bounce house to live music. The night will be capped off with a fireworks show wrapping before 10:00pm.

The Dodge National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) Nationals will happen from the 13th to the 16th at Maple Grove Raceway in Mohnton, Pennsylvania, and feature the loudest and fastest cars you will ever see. There is a free education program on September 14th for ages 13 and up that includes a ticket to the race. Beyond this program, there are great learning opportunities for the curious child. These men and women love to talk about their cars and you can get a semester of STEM in the pits before a race.

If that isn’t enough noise and action for you, Bridgeport Speedway in Swedesboro, New Jersey, will feature the Monster Truck Throwdown on September 15th and 16th with EIGHT trucks competing for glory. Head over to Groupon for discounted tickets. Don’t forget to get there early to see the trucks up close, these man-made beasts are amazing.

If you haven’t been to events like these they can seem a little intimidating. But as long as you’ve got water, sunscreen, and ear protection, they can be a lot of fun. Generally, the spectators are relaxed and there are plenty of breaks in the action to get ice cream or take a walk away from track side.

If you’re still not convinced, take a look at Creamery Tire’s Customer Appreciation Day in Collegeville, Pennsylvania, on September 23rd. The iconic Bigfoot will be the highlight of a fun, free, family-friendly day. The day starts at 4:00pm with fireworks at 8:00pm. Getting to see just one monster truck crush cars in front of you will give you the bug to see more.

Inspecting the carnage.
Crushing off into the sunset.

God bless,
Jason

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Lighting Fires

This has been a big week. I skated along the edge of disaster and took on three new responsibilities that mean a lot to me and provide me the opportunity to create value for others. I can’t rate them as each is aligned with my passions.

The invitation to write for Macaroni Kid Wilmington-Newark-New Castle gives me a tangible way to share and promote many of the enriching experiences our area has to offer. Nothing in my life is expressly separate from our grief journey, but this will be much more than the story of us “moving on.”

As a volunteer Community Outreach Moderator for Homeschool Delaware I’ll be able to create formal relationships with many of the local educational resource providers that we already know and love. I’ll also get to form new relationships and build connections between the home-education community and the wider world. There are many local resources not being exploited during the school day. I believe that home education is for all; not necessarily full time, but as a lifestyle outside of school. By facilitating more programs directed at smaller groups of children with broader age ranges, I believe we can benefit families of all educational stripes.

I’m also back in a managing role with Classics II, the over-30, co-recreational soccer team that has meant so much to me in the last ten years. My late wife was my co-manager, accountant, cheerleader, roster adviser, inspiration to stay fit and play hard (she wasn’t easily impressed, it was my greatest joy when she was), and confidant. A couple great friends and teammates have stepped up to help me lead the team again. 

spanish time GIF

There are FOUR new responsibilities! I’m coaching a FIRST Lego League Jr. team. I’m not quite an AFOL (okay, maybe I am), but my sons are insane for the bricks and programming, so this is the best game in town. We finally received all the materials and will start sharing that journey here as well.

So yeah, I could use some of your prayers. 

God bless,
Jason

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Who Is Delaware Dad?








Who is Delaware Dad?

When our second son was born seven years ago my wife and I decided that I would leave my job as a proofreader and editor to take care of our boys. Exploring our world with these wide-eyed wonders quickly became my calling. We visited museums, zoos, parks, and any place that would admit us. I saw the unexpected connections the boys made between our expeditions, read aloud sessions, and play time. “Unexpected” would be a good title for the rest of the story. We watched how they learned and decided to try home education. We analyzed the trials and tribulations, looked at the results, and fell in love with the lifestyle. Smaller in material ways, but seemingly boundless in love and learning.

We became libertarians, then Christians. We put God, family, love, and learning at the center of our universe and it seemed to be working out.

Then my wife, Mary, got the flu. She was healthy and strong by any standard. She went to her doctor, we went to urgent care, we went to the emergency department, we went back to the emergency department. She was gone six days later.

Delaware Dad was born shortly before Mary’s passing. I wanted to share our experiences with home education, my love of Delaware and the tri-state area, and help other families find their own adventures. I am so excited and grateful to be able to write for Macaroni Kid. We haven’t stopped exploring, learning, and loving.

God has given us an unexpected life. One that I believe is worth sharing and can help others. Feel free to reach out to me on Facebook to share your local favorites, educational opportunities, and any questions you may have about our grief journey. I look forward to bringing the best Delaware has to offer to you and your family.

God bless,
Jason Zerbey