The healing journey of a widowed, unschooling badass in Delaware.
If I had known I would eat so well, I would have joined the Spanish leagues a lot sooner.
It’s a warm and welcoming atmosphere that’s also as passionate and performance demanding as I am.
I’m blessed to have made the connections that led me here. I’m blessed to have been given a shot in a league with no other white guys. I’m blessed to be playing with mostly younger players. I’m blessed to have inherited soccer blood from my grandfather.
I thank God for all these blessings.
We spent most of our date night by the fire, watching the nearly full moon chase Jupiter up into the sky.
“Do to others what you would want them to do to you.”
-Luke 6:31
One of the best quotes of parenting advice I know goes something like, “Treat your own children as you would your best friend’s children.”
I have a lot of children in my life. I may do the most for my own, but I also treat them the worst.
I’m getting better. I’m treating myself more kindly. It gives me the capacity to treat my sons more lovingly.
That’s the forgotten observation of the verse from Luke. Others often treat us better than we treat ourselves. Loved ones, and even strangers, will forgive us and extend us grace for indiscretions that keep us up at night.
Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
My younger son found this amusing book while helping me clean.
Although there is plenty of strong language, there are many new words to challenge my sons and references to important historical figures.
Having books available for discovery might be my best unschooling trick.
Disclosure: The link below is an affiliate link, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
We’re an unusual bunch. Home-educating dads aren’t often seen in the wild. They tend to work long hours and jealously guard their time with their families.
Our weekly meetup group has attracted a larger contingent of dads as educational facilitators than I have seen elsewhere. We may be growing as a demographic, or the fact that a dad cofounded this particular group may be a significant factor.
There are more than four of us, but a friend caught this moment today and it is a telling sample. Each of us come from a different perspective and background. We live in different ways, but share a passion for preparing our sons (seven boys among us) to be men.
I’m blessed to have these men in my life.
To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
-Philippians 4:20 RSV
When I asked to be removed from church emails about children’s activities that required masks and pushed untested vaccines, I got the following response:
Hi Jason,
We’ll be happy to remove you from this list. Do you also wish to be removed from all church lists including the membership list?
I’m glad you’ve found a church that meets your needs and I will reiterate from my last email that you and the boys will certainly always be welcome to come and visit Mary any time you want. Simply give me a call and I’ll be here to let you in.
To be sure, I used strong language in condemning these policies and mentioned that Iron Faith Fellowship had accepted my entire family without care for our personal, and private, health choices.
I was shocked to receive an enthusiastic offer to remove my family from the church rolls. I’ve been unable to find a response for months.
Before they closed their doors to worshippers, we had spent many hours per week serving and celebrating in that building. The very week before Two-Weeks-To-Flatten-The-Curve, my sons and I slept at the church while homeless families found shelter, hospitality, and meals under the same roof. My wife’s cremains are at rest there and I haven’t visited her in years. The Griefshare meetings that may have saved my life before Lockdown were cancelled when the whole world was grieving.
They are happy to see us go. It’s hard to read that again.
My rational mind understands that we have found better places to worship and more loving communities to embrace us. I haven’t gotten one note I can think of from our *former* church brothers and sisters wondering where we have been. I can understand, but my heart continues to hurt.
I will accept their offer today. Maybe I’ll feel comfortable visiting Mary once I’m officially an outsider. Maybe it’ll hurt less once I don’t receive the email reminders from that committee or volunteer group.
Today I renew my relationship with God. A relationship that requires no building, nor pastor, to mediate it.
To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
-Philippians 4:6 RSV
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:19 RSV
I take comfort in these words from Paul to the church at Philippi. He was in prison and writing in a celebratory tone of abundance. Hope and comfort. Comfort that God can engender this powerful positivity and hope that I can stay with the Holy Spirit in dark times.
Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
My girlfriend and I walked in the rain and looked for mushrooms today. This is the best time of year to see a wide variety of mycelium.
Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.
-Philippians 4:11 NLT
Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
From Strength for Today: “Paul had made huge mistakes and caused tremendous pain that scarred his past, but his life changed dramatically when he met Jesus. He began to help others and share himself vulnerably. Instead of bullying his way to victory, he would sometimes go hungry. Instead of being celebrated, he would sometimes suffer loss.”
I’m no Paul (I’ve never gone hungry for one), but I changed when I met Jesus in my heart. Being stubborn, that change continues to be slow. My wife didn’t a chance to see the changes. She passed away a few short months after we were Baptized. She seemed to know so much. I wonder if she saw the changes beginning. She always saw potential in me that I thought I had squandered in my scarred past.
Contentment is tricky. I love myself for what I have become and I love the greater self yet to be revealed.
I love that my boys have been here to see me grow in God’s love. I hope my mistakes can serve as guardrails for their own journeys and that they understand that none of this would have been possible before I saw myself as a child of God.
I’m no good at routine. I am good at returning to the habits that have helped me grow in recent years.
Yoga, Wim Hof Method breathing, an unprocessed diet, soccer, jiu-jitsu, prayer, and intentional time with loved ones were all incorporated into my week. Nothing was consistent and I stumbled through most of the practices. But I did practice.
Each sunrise offers a new chance to return to positive behaviors and find new ones to practice.