Author: Jason Zerbey

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Kill Baby Thanos Club

We start our new comic book and graphic novel club tomorrow and it took me a while to find the right name.

When my girlfriend’s daughter gifted us tiny, plastic babies, this one reminded me of baby Thanos.

In Avengers: Endgame, a character makes an awkward suggestion to use time travel to go back to kill the film’s villian, Thanos, as a baby. Although shut down with talk of the particulars of Marvel Cinematic Universe time travel, it was a nod to both the “Would you kill baby Hitler?” question and the Mavel comics storyline exploring the possibility of killing Thanos as an infant.

Moral conundrums aside, the moment is hilarious.

Our comic collection is widely varied. I still have a huge, and largely worthless, stash from the 90s and my sons have been haphazardly accumulating books for years. I want to share our illustrated riches with our friends, but from Punisher and Deadpool to independent books delving into controversial social debates, I’m not sure where everyone’s limits will lie.

I hope that “Kill Baby Thanos Club” is provocative enough to let people know that this will be a censorship-free zone. I don’t aim to create controversy, but I’ve never shielded my sons from it and don’t have much skill in protecting anyone else.

The name suggestion started as a joke around the tiny toy, but it rang true as soon as it was uttered. I wanted to ask my girlfriend if she would mock up a logo for me, but she’s a professional and I hate asking for freebies. Unsurprisingly, she read my mind and sent me this image later in the day. It sealed the fate of the group’s title.

Huge thanks to the wildly talented Kristen Steele.

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365 Devotionals: Spiritually Poor

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
-Matthew 5:3

Baptism is meant to be done once with an open and honest heart. It is the enacting of one’s death to worldly attachments and rebirth into Christ’s arms. There is no need or use to repeating the gesture. However, in a psychological sense, the process of killing off old, useless, incorrect, and evil parts of ourselves to replace them with upgraded elements is ongoing.

A spiritual life goes through a series of these Phoenix Cycles. After Baptism, one feels full of the Holy Spirit and spiritually rich. That richness is the flaming Phoenix at its apex. Whether the flames crash into darkness or the mental fuel to sustain them merely wanes, we will be left in ashes. In the ashes we are spiritually poor and aware of the broken nature of our material existence. This is when we humbly turn to God and receive what we need to carry forth.

We have some control over the speed and frequency of the cycle. I prefer to spend my time in the ashes. I learn the most there and widowhood has forced me to be more comfortable in the dark. I’m wary of being the shining beacon of the Phoenix at apex as I dread the inevitable decent. This manifests in a rapid succession of Phoenix Cycles that keep me in a flow of growth.

The lower we go, and the longer we spend there, the greater we will be rewarded.

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365 Devotionals: God’s Will

“You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
-Jeremiah 29:10-11

Sitting here in traffic after a long day, missing a soccer game I sorely want to play in, and praying to find the good in this moment.

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Time To Build: 2022

We restarted our Time to Build Lego club today. It’s been a long time coming as I struggled with organizing our massive collection and getting my house ready for guests again.

I’m not sure I could have done it without my girlfriend’s help, support, and creative problem solving. Together we got the workshop in more than enough order for the first of many fun building days.

Cooperation, competition, and creativity ruled the day.

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365 Devotionals: Let God

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you.
-Psalm 37:4-5

When we align ourselves with God, our desires align with our most loved Self. We take better care of ourselves and desire good for every man, woman, and child.

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365 Devotionals: Grace and Forgiveness

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you, so you must forgive others.
-Colossians 3:13

I am struggling with this one. I am trying to understand the supporters of Lockdowns, vaccine mandates, and masks. I want to forgive them, but it feels important to stop them first. They must be stopped from harming my family, vulnerable populations, and the very cooperative nature of our success as a species.

I will fight to protect the people I love and I will strive to always expand that circle to include as many as I can. I will keep forgiveness in my heart and welcome the authoritarians to my table, once they are defeated.

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365 Devotionals: Contentment

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
-Hebrews 13:5

When you know you are loved, you need nothing else.

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Censor This

I’ve carried this copy of Maus for over twenty years.
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I’m thankful for the bad guys. I’m thankful for the censors. They draw stark lines that show us where we belong and where not to tread. The book burner says, “Don’t read that,” and we read with hunger. The cancel culture drone says, “Don’t listen to that,” and we listen carefully.
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Our learning lifestyle doesn’t hold space for silence.
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Whatever society we had is breaking apart. Some value freedom of thought, speech, movement, and lifestyle. Some would trade those for safety, comfort, and a sense certainty.
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Freedom means responsibility and uncertainty. We are entering uncertain times as the stark lines become white hot, guiding us through a collective dark night of the soul.
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The Devils Are Showing Their Horns

The church where my sons were baptized and attended youth groups for years has been aggressively pushing a fear narrative.

A church leader led an outdoor service that included no Scripture that I could recall immediately after (I may have missed something). She then required masks and distancing for future outdoor meetings.

Recently, they closed their doors again and went entirely “virtual.” Although youth groups are now meeting again, they are enforcing masks and social distancing and pushing vaccines, measures that have shown to be ineffective in making anyone healthier in spirit or body.

I asked the youth leader to remove us from that email list, as these restrictions violate my sons’ freedom to follow Christ as their hearts call them to. I stated that we feel abandoned by the church and copied the lead pastor, who was already aware of my feelings, on the email.

His response shocked me a little.

A member of his church feels abandoned, so he volunteers to erase me from the rolls?

Before Lockdown, we were in this building multiple times a week between services, Bible studies, volunteer work, and many other meetings and events. My late wife’s cremains rest in the inner courtyard. It was our spiritual home, the place we were Baptized into the Body of Christ.

There is relief in me as I see it as an unveiling of the true nature of this congregation. There is also deeply hurtful pain and a fear that there are other wolves in sheep’s clothing in my life.

We are blessed by those who exclude us, especially when they preach inclusion. It is the villianous Doublespeak of the devils of Orwell’s 1984: Freedom is Slavery, War is Peace, Ignorance is Strength…Exclusion is Inclusion.

I have new spiritual homes and I know that my relationship with Christ is in my heart, it needs no building, nor pastor.

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