Category: BJJ

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365 Devotionals: Grace-filled Jiu-Jitsu

“‘I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.”
-Luke 15:19-20

That yellow belt in white hasn’t trained in more than a year. It has disappointed me for all the usual dad reasons. Jiu-jitsu and Elevated Studios have been good to us for a long time. Isaac has devoted years to his training and he’s amazingly capable.

It has to be up to him. I don’t force him onto the mat and I try hard to shift my disappointment into grace.

Five minutes before his older brother and I left for class, he announced that he was training today. I tried not to be too excited, he’s a lovely and compassionate child, but he’s not doing this for me. I don’t know why he’s doing it. That’s the challenge fathers have that God does not: He knows why we falter and quit and then He extends grace to welcome us back.

I pray for no, “I knew you would love it again,” or “Wasn’t that great to train again?” out of my mouth. I pray to continue to hold space for Isaac to choose whether or not he trains. I pray to share the grace extended to me by God.

Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

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Experimenting with Failure

This past weekend was an unusually humbling one.

I competed in my first jiu-jitsu tournament and all my opponents were ten years younger than me. That didn’t daunt me as I regularly compete with even younger players in soccer.

I forgot that I have decades of experience in soccer and less than a year in jiu-jitsu. I had no wins, but learned through each match. I also wanted to quit more times than I can count. I’m no good at quitting and grateful that I stayed through to the later matches.

It was a long day with a lot of lessons I have yet to process.

Second place in a two-man division. Showing up matters.

I also planned to experience my first psychedelic trip with the use of mushrooms containing psilocybin. That was a most unexpected failure. I watched my girlfriend get high as I had no discernible change in my perception. I increased my dosage, more than doubling it in the next few hours. Nothing. There’s a part of me that takes a strange pride in not being susceptible to mind altering substances, but that was not the aim of this experiment.

I’m wired differently. Alcohol acted on me more like a stimulant than a depressant and my tolerance for it lead to a habit of excess. Marijuana has never gotten me high and now I may understand why (I always chalked it up to not being a regular smoker).

I remain excited and curious to experiment. There are nearly inifinite experiences offered in this world and I will continue to look for the right ones for me.

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Achievement Unlocked

My jiu-jitsu practice is full of deficiencies, consistency of training being the most glaring.

After a year of excuses, I finally struck a balance in my routine that promises to improve my soccer, yoga, and jiu-jitsu practices.

This week I had two of each discipline. Soccer is likely the most unpredictable and two tough games to draw were the challenge I needed to see if my body could prosper on the fields and mats.

Yoga is the mental, physical, and spiritual reset that seems to make it all possible.

I am confident that returning to the Wim Hof Method breathing technique (still taking lots of cold showers) as a daily routine will further enhance my overall recovery and performance.

I thank God everyday for the energy to do these things. I thank Him for the focus on health and self-improvement that has driven me during a time when the narrative diminishes these goals. I thank God for a body that treats me better as I treat it better.

Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. 

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Transformation

The impact of jiu-jitsu on our lives would be impossible to capture in three minutes, but Elevated Studios and Salvatore Productions did an amazing job in expressing how much the discipline can change someone.

In this promotional video, my elder son, Westen, plays a shy kid who has the typical jiu-jitsu experience of getting dominated for an uncomfortable amount of time. Through co-owner/lead instructor Stephen Plyler’s encouragement and the boy’s hard work, the kid grows into a strong, confident practioner.

Elevated has been our jiu-jitsu home for as long as we’ve been home educating, almost seven years. I began training last year and it is thrilling to have my son play the role of guide for me. He has grown into a mentor on the mat and a focused fighter in competition.

Our journey still feels near the start. Westen will be in the adult program with me next year and I will likely start competing alongside him.

If you have any interest in improving your life or the life of your child, take a look at Elevated Studios.

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White Belt Thoughts

I learned a lot tonight and was able to implement a couple tries at escapes. The format of the Elevated Studios Fundamentals class is about half technique drills and half rolling (Five 5-minute matches to submission).

I still have zero attacks from side mount, this week’s focus, but I’m learning to defend from that position.

The physical and mental challenges of each training session are immense. As difficult and draining as these sessions are, I can see why some return again and again to the jiu-jitsu mat. It is a place of constant learning under fire.

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More, Please

Rhythm. Balance. The tune is always changing and we must listen our bodies to stay in the dance.

This summer has been all soccer. I was playing 4-5 games a week. It didn’t leave me feeling able to train jiu-jitsu nor practice yoga as frequently as I wanted to.

None of these practices can be done at my whim, I need to work within other people’s schedules, although I am blessed with plentiful opportunities in all of them. In the last couple weeks I’ve gone down to one soccer match a week with increasing yoga and jiu-jitsu sessions.

My body was a little surprised. For soccer, the 6-day break shook it out of its rhythm. I certainly need more than that. Come fall, I’ll be playing at least twice a week.

For jiu-jitsu, I finally trained two days in a row and observed the benefits of close repetition. I felt the fatigue on the second day, but saw a potential in myself to roll more often.

More yoga is a no brainer. My mind, body, and spirit always feel recovered and more prepared after an hour of hot vinyasa.

I’m approaching a balance and rhythm that I hope is successful through fall and into the future.

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Wim Hof Method Breathing in the Cold

I expected to play soccer last night, but the game fell through and I decided on a jiu-jitsu class. It smashed me and I had a tough time waking up this morning. I thank God for this practice. It used to be soccer or nothing for me. Now, with yoga and jiu-jitsu, I’m not only a stronger soccer player, but I’ve got options when the Universe wants to change plans on me.

Once I wore out my phone’s snooze function (didn’t know that could happen), I saw the last glow of sunrise fading and ran out to start my daily breathing. It was the coldest (27°F) and windiest day for my practice and I’m not sure why I didn’t put a shirt on. The wind was tame, but it felt like icy electricity crackling over my skin.

I love the different sensations I experience during the 5 rounds of 30 intentional breaths with breath retention on the last exhale of each round. Different shapes appear in my vision behind my closed eyelids. Today, the first couple rounds were accompanied by forks of lightning emanating from the bottom left of my field of vision. They faded and the field became calmer and more even, a soft, five-point star appearing during the last round.

As I hold my lungs empty, I try to focus on parts of my body that need attention. I was pleased that my knees were feeling better and not surprised that a smashed toe was still healing.

Today was the most discomfort I have felt in my fingers, but I directed attention there, and that faded as well. The small, yet distinctly observable, healing moments have been incredible. In the summer I would be bitten by a mosquito or two during early rounds, yet there would be no welts after I was finished. Doing this first thing in the morning, my body is often awkward and stiff. After the breathing, I am always moving more smoothly. The places I target with my mind seem to continually and actively heal throughout the day.

I think it’s about time to get Wim Hof’s book and deepen my journey.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. 

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The (Co-opted) Courage of Children

I wasn’t feeling strong yesterday. Something insane inside me told me to do the most physically and mentally demanding thing currently in my regimen to say, “No,” to those thoughts.

I signed up for a Brazillian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) class. In the last four days I’ve had two soccer matches, pilates and yoga, another BJJ class, and I’ve got more soccer tonight. I knew this would challenge my mind and body to a new place of strength.

I was the only white belt in the small class, I grappled with black, brown, blue, and purple belts. As I started my second match with the brown belt, I thought about how improbable this all was. Everything I’ve heard about BJJ is terrifying. I don’t think I would ever walk into a gym and ask for this punishment. I’ve never wrestled, lifted, or even watched ultimate fighting. My physical identity was as a relatively small soccer player.

(By the way, do not think about this kind of crap while you’re trying to pass guard on someone who’s been training for 15 years. That’s all I have for BJJ advice.)

My connection was my sons’ participation in the art. They won lessons almost six years ago in a raffle drawing I didn’t remember entering. My older, Westen, has been training for half his life. Stephen and Reneé Plyler of Elevated Studios have been the most consistently supportive adults in my boys’ lives aside from me.

Under Stephen’s guidance, Westen has become the tiniest powerhouse and mentor you could imagine. I’ve seen him grow into a guide for new students and a glutton for larger opponents in training and competition. I’ve never seen him shy away from a challenge on the mat.

It’s not just Stephen, but the community he has built. Adult practitioners have regularly worked with Westen and volunteered to coach him in competition. Elevated held a fundraiser for us when we lost Mary. The turnout was humbling. I knew then that BJJ was a blessing bestowed on us by God.

I still didn’t expect to practice myself.

Parenting takes bravery. Duh, we knew that, it’s a prerequisite. When you choose to homeschool, unschool, free-range, or just plain trust your children with their own fate, you are choosing to test the limits of that bravery.

You will watch them do dangerous things on scooters and skateboards, climb higher than you can stomach, and take risks on stage. Westen once volunteered to read Shakespeare on stage when he knew that he couldn’t read. My heart sank at what a failure that moment could be, how devastating the looks of the audience could become. But he was away, hand raised, charging toward David Stradley of Delaware Shakespeare. There was my fearful investment in that moment. My ego as a homeschooling dad was in danger of my perceived failure to teach my son how to read. I learned a lot in that moment as Westen asked for the lines to be read in his ear. His fearlessness is inspirational. He made me a better dad and human with his courage.

Years later I would feel failure again as I entered him in the wrong division in a BJJ tournament. My miscalculation of his weight and a combining of higher divisions put him well out of his class. I still feel the pain of that mistake, but Westen was undaunted. He fought hard in match after match with experienced competitors who had a seemingly insurmountable advantage of weight. He fought like he could win every time. He cried only after the competiton was done and he hadn’t had one victory. I figured I had ruined BJJ for him. Once he got changed and we were walking to the car, he asked, “When’s the next one, Dad?”

That kind of strength and bravery is unstoppable. He never says no to training, competition, performance, or any new challenge.

God has granted me the privilege of this compassionate warrior in my temporary care. He’s a coach, fellow student, and inspiration to me every day.

I survived a night of arm bars and chokes and I’m feeling strong again. A funny feeling after all the tears this post inspired. It’s all process and I’m grateful for this forum to work out my thoughts in difficult moments.

And I’m grateful for you reading this, God bless,

Jason

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Tribal Realignments

For months our casual relationships were strained. Divisions grew between us as differing media accounts, risk assessments, political positions, and governmental measures formed.

We were limited in our contact with one another. Impersonal, online slights were never softened by social contact or context.

The truth of my homeschool community is that it thrives on social contact. No matter how much our politics or approaches may divert, we come together with our children and recognize in each other the fundamental focus of our educational choices.

Without those meetups, many fell victim to their own ideology and entrenched themselves in easily-accessed online communities. Carl Jung said, “People don’t have ideas, ideas have people.” We let ourselves be possessed by our ideas.

But for all the bonds that were stressed and broken, there are new, stronger bonds forming. Bonds based on the same focus on our children and a recognition of each other’s good will.

Those who are willing to meet in person and allow each individual to choose his or her level of assumed risk are forming new tribes. Not based on ideology, but a love for our children and fellow man. These tribes are based on grace for those who choose not to join us, as our arms remain wide and welcoming.

It is these tribes that will preserve the things we all love. Music, theatre, sports, homeschool meetups, martial arts, family reunions, parties, weddings, and even memorials. These tribes will not let the paradigm shift away from a social existence among social animals.

In this mad season, “social” falsely preceeds “media” and “distancing.”

I prefer this definition of “social”: living and breeding in more or less organized communities especially for the purposes of cooperation and mutual benefit : not solitary.

I’m grateful for the new tribes. There’s excitement in this wave of meeting new people. I can hardly keep straight the soccer players, homeschoolers, jiu-jitsu practitioners, and yogis I’ve met in recent weeks. We see each other and share big smiles as we dive into the things we share and love.

God bless, I appreciate you, and thank you for reading,

Jason