Death and Heroes

My younger son and I watched a couple Marvel movies and shows tonight. His perspective on the superhero dramas is widening and deepening. “This is is kinda dark,” came out of his mouth several times.

He doesn’t just see the action and special effects any more. He sees characters dealing with loss and grief in almost every scene.

Marvel has done a remarkable job of exploring the weight of grief. The entire creative universe is now shaped by the losses it has witnessed since Tony Stark went through the painful process of killing off his hedonistic persona in the early movies.

Isaac and I don’t get much time alone together. He’s softer than me and his older brother, in the best way. He snuggles up under my arm and feels everything deeply. His compassion is raw.

I’m grateful for these moments when we can explore the hero’s journey and see how we can live our own. He knows more loss than any ten-year-old should have to. He understands loss better than most adults. His mom gifted him with empathy. She would be so proud of her sweet boy.

“Over Protective” Christian Home Education

We are called to be in the world but not of the world. Government school is rooted in material, earthly powers. We answer to one almighty authority and school trains children to answer to many arbitrary authorities. It is the worship of many gods.

Home education led our family to healing that opened us to accepting Jesus Christ as our Savior. I’m a new believer and I understand that Christ said we would be persecuted for following Him. Raising my sons as Christians is not over protective. “Over protection” comes from a fear mindset that believes we can find safety in the world. Trusting in God is accepting danger on Earth.

Unschool and Deschool

My wife and I didn’t consider homeschooling until the summer before kindergarten.

One of the things I most regret not learning about before we started was that we had already started. The state’s calendar has nothing to do with healthy learning or development.

Academics are not primary for us. If an individual is physically secure, spiritually fulfilled, and mentally healthy, he/she will know what, when, and how to learn.

I wish I had learned about deschooling and unschooling before I started. Breaking down the assumptions of the governmental education system was critical for my personal healing and in creating a better learning environment for my children.

I post a lot about unschooling and I see it in such broad terms that I could include all of my Learning Lifestyle posts as part of that subject. At root, it is a learning environment focused on individual needs, desires, and talents. We do this as adults, whether it’s attending a voluntary training course through work, borrowing a book, or joining a gym. We take ownership of our interests and feed them. There is no reason that children shouldn’t have the same opportunity. The sooner they learn how to fuel their own growth, the sooner they become free of influences that claim authority.

I was already unschooling myself, I just needed to apply the concept to our home education lifestyle. Deschooling runs deeper. It changed my life, opened me up to faith in Christ, and has allowed for perpetual healing.

In the homeschool world, “deschooling” is the process of pulling a child from a learning institution to begin home education. It usually consists of a “break” from schoolwork and there are loose formulas for X number weeks of break to reset from Y number of years in school.

My children were never in school, so they weren’t in great need of a break from that, but I learned about this process as I was recreating MY school experience in our home. I was the one who needed to deschool after a decade and a half in educational institutions.

The start/stop bells, busy work, grades, and authoritarian rule were the easiest for me to identify and put on the chopping block. I like to follow through on ideas to the end of their logical usefulness and started analyzing the social habits, fears, and assumptions about my fellow man that I had carried from school into parenthood. I did not like much of it. I started looking closely at the programming and patterns from my youth that were not healthy. I dug deeper to find parental and multi-generational traumas that I was, and am, carrying.

There is no end to the logical usefulness of deschooling.

At a glorious point on the journey you no longer blame school, your parents, or The System. You see that everyone is broken in infinite ways. That means we each have the gift of inifinite healing in a lifetime. That means I can gift my children with an inheritance of a better way to live.

I can’t think of a better intention to have toward my role in my children’s development.

Front Row Reading

The Zerbeys are front-row types.

I never formally taught Isaac how to read. His mother and I read aloud daily, attended storytimes multiple times a week (here we are at Brandywine River Museum of Art eight years ago), modeled a love of reading as adults, and filled our world with books.

My sons were able to develop a love of reading without authoritarian dictates. They discovered themselves in books, and continue that lifelong process.

We are born with an innate understanding that knowledge is critical to survival. The acquisition of knowledge should not be outsourced to any authority. It must be an independent endeavor that partners with sources of information to create a true and meaningful map of the world.

Knowledge means survival, but to thrive, we must extrapolate knowledge into wisdom. My sons and I gather information from books, videos, podcasts, mentors, and any variety of disseminators of information, and then we discuss the validity, interconnectivity, and usefulness of the data. I struggle with their interests in social media challenges and video games, and they struggle with my refusal to dumb down my language because I’m talking with children.

Somehow, we find enough patience to listen to each other and try to respect when the one of us isn’t up for Marvel movie theories, Minecraft hacks, or Biblical translation comparisons.

Although reading is largely a solitary excercise, we integrate it into our relationships with community, clubs, friends, and family. It is central to our learning lifestyle.

Unsubtle

In a world packed with stimuli, it can be hard to listen to God. Today, He didn’t give me a chance to miss the message.

I got into the car frustrated as my sons had dragged their feet and only half-heartedly helped on the tasks I needed complete for our adventures.

Westen asked to listen to something rogether and I stopped him, “No. You two aren’t listening to me and I don’t want to engage with you right now.” I put my earbuds in and rejoined the same podcast I posted about a couple days ago.

David Wolpe: Judaism

Per usual, it wasn’t five minutes before Westen was talking to me. I attempted patience and waited for my chance to say that I didn’t want to talk. He went on to talk about racism as discussed in the Bible.

The conversation in my ear had turned to tribalism in the Torah and today.

Okay God, I get it, thanks.

I pulled the earbuds out and heard the rest of Westen’s ideas. I added a couple examples of stories from the New Testament and Isaac gladly joined the conversation.

I am consistently impressed by my son’s minds. They listen keenly and question right down to the principles. I don’t take much credit for this, God sent me these free thinkers to challenge and embolded my faith.

I thank God for knowing that sometimes I need to be knocked back into loving engagement with those around me.

Friday Unschool

We don’t have a “typical” day. When questioned about routines, I have too many adventures to share.

Today we went roller skating with homeschoolers, my sons accepted a working gig from a neighbor, and then my older son did duty as Student Stage Manager for a production of Julius Caesar.

The day was filled with helping, socializing, and leadership. We’re exhausted from it all and ready to rest up for more excitement tomorrow.

Seal Watching: Pt. 1

We trekked out to Sandy Hook, New Jersey, for a homeschool adventure to see harbor seals enjoying the last of the winter waters.

I have better pictures, but have to charge my camera before I can load them.

Fortunately, I had my phone to capture some candid moments.

Isaac was crew for Westen’s Steve Zissou-inspired documentary. I’ll have to get ahold of that memory card for a possible Pt. 3.