Category: Podcast Reviews

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Digging for Courage: This Is Not Homeschool

I’m borrowing the title from the latest episode of The Harmonious Homeschooler.

We haven’t “homeschooled” in years. Before my wife died, we were trying to figure out how to explain our educational philosophy briefly. “Unschool” fits by definition, but denotes a negative. Although we intentionally discarded many of the assumptions of twentieth century schooling, our focus was not merely against the status quo. We were focusing on a love of learning fueled by our love for each other as a family. We discovered that our philosophy was greater than educational, it was holistic. Or it aspired to be, at least. We came up with “learning lifestyle.” It’s not very good as a conversational shortcut; but then again, nothing in the realm of home education lends itself to shortcuts.

Two years after losing my wife, I was embracing child-led learning and ambition more each day. My sons continued to train in jiu-jitsu and desired to compete in tournaments, where they learned how tough winning and losing can be. They took theater classes and learned discipline, history, narrative, and the nuts and bolts of production. This led to a taste of bigger stages and an urge to pursue professional acting, so I took them to an open audition where they earned a spot on a talent agency roster. Road trips, nature hikes, museum meanderings, gymnastic classes, quidditch…the adventures were countless.

Then the restrictions of governments in response to fears surrounding a novel coronavirus shut down all of our pursuits.

Our Learning Lifestyle changed over a course of days. The grounding consistency of training sessions at Elevated Studios, the new challenge of classes at Olympiad Gymnastics, hosting a growing Lego Club in our home, church services and Sunday School, and the excitement of getting ready for their first professional acting auditions…all gone.

For four weeks I have sought some reordering of our lives. Most of that time has been in search of meaning. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” I was searching for the wrong why. I wanted to know why the world had gone mad with irrationality, forgetting that the world had never been rational. To expect that now was my own madness.

The why I need is, “Why the Learning Lifestyle?”

The answer is within me, in need of revisiting, refreshing, and retooling. It’s exciting and scary to work on the fundamentals, especially when you’ve already built so much on the existing paradigm.

This isn’t homeschooling, this is something new.

God bless and thank you for reading,
Jason

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Digging for Courage: An Air of Toxic Masculinity

Warning and spoiler alert: Jordan Peterson tells an involved and emotional story about a friend and his eventual suicide.

Toxic Masculinity: A 12 Rules for Life Lecture

I see a mental health crisis unfolding. It will not fit the corporate media or government narrative(s). The lives lost during this forced isolation will not get long pieces in NYT Magazine. The destructive thoughts and behaviours will not be on Instagram.

I’ve listened to countless hours of Peterson. This one kept us in the driveway as my sons were transfixed by the story of “Chris.” If I had known the outcome, I may not have shared it, but I’m glad I did. A lot of the reason for the current panic is that we don’t talk about how dangerous living can be.

It’s an amazingly vulnerable account. Peterson has devoted himself to understanding the darkest parts of people and helping them integrate those shadows into their being. He was working on a post graduate degree and Chris was living with him shortly before he died. It’s hard to conceive of the potential guilt.

On the bright side, farts have now been rebranded, “toxic masculinity.”

God bless and thank you for reading,
Jason

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Learning Courage

I know people with PTSD, kids who have watched a parent die, women who have lost their husbands, single adults who have been rocked by divorce, and too many people embittered and crushed by the world as it is.

The last ten minutes of this Jordan B. Peterson lecture (link should be cued) is about betrayal.

How Do You Survive Betrayal?

I haven’t faced much malevolence in my life. I credit my upbringing, in addition with a lot of luck, for that. Peterson talks about shielding children from the evils of the world and how it doesn’t work in an absolute sense. He talks about shadow integration and recognizing just how much evil lives inside you. He talks about many of the things that helped me master myself after losing my wife.

I recommend Peterson so often because he was the rational voice in my ear as I vigorously wrestled with my own ideas about faith. Five months after being baptized into the Christian faith, Mary died. I had prepared myself as much as any man could (no man can be fully prepared to lose a woman like her).

I thought I was listening to Peterson to get over my intellectual and psychological obstacles in accepting Christ as my Savior. It was that, but it was also readying me to face a specific catastrophe of life.

I didn’t experience the spritual turmoil that C.S. Lewis did in losing his wife. My mind was fractured, but I had been studying the tools of the mind (Peterson) and soul (Christ) that I needed to work on my Self.

It’s been nearly two years. I opened my heart to romance a little more than a year ago. It has been a puzzle to me why the highs haven’t worn me out and the lows haven’t broken me. Courage. Peterson uses the word “courage” and I want to know why I have it. I want to know for my boys, I want to know for those I can reach. It is that I have accepted that the darkness cannot extiguish the Light. Evil is strong, Satan is strong, and Nature will cut you down without hesitation. I choose to live in the Light of Love. I choose the infinite, perfect love of Jesus Christ. That kind of love cannot be stopped by all the malevolence of the world.

God bless and thank you for reading,
Jason

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Day Six of My 10- and 30-Day Challenges

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. 

My sons called me from Grandma’s! Just to chat and check in on me. Their mom used to do that regularly, but I can’t recall them ever taking the initiative. It was a happy little sign as I found the dining room table leaf I cut last year, measured for more makeshift table extension, and consolidated and tucked away the Halloween gear.

Today was more about my 10-Day Thanksgiving Host Challenge than practicing positive parenting, but I did listen to a some podcast episodes and tried a new audio book. I do not recommend the audio version of Charlotte Kasl’s If the Buddha Had Kids. I’m reading another of her books and enjoy her writing style, but the audio on this one is robotic and very difficult to follow.

I listened to Elizabeth Kay Dyer‘s podcast episode about how she became a widow on a homeschool journey; Debbie Reber’s Tilt Parenting podcast episode with Jeremy Schneider, author of Fatherhood in 40-Minute Snapshots; and took breaks from the positive parenting grind with Tom Woods, Office Hours with TK Coleman and Isaac Morehouse, and a great new band called Iggy T and the Crazymakers. And just by sending a shout out to the band, I was able to connect with the lead singer and find an important video to share about grief and pain:

God bless,
Jason

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In Defense of Lego

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. 

In my search for positive parenting resources I couldn’t resist listening to this minimalist approach to managing Lego from Dr. Denaye Barahona. To be sure, we are not minimalists when it comes to Lego. Our biggest projects bring us together and can demand a lot of bricks. However, I felt Dr. Barahona went too far in reducing modern Lego to being a “closed” toy too focused on licensed characters and predetermined builds.

You can hear her podcast episode here:

Our 2017 entry for the Kalmar Nyckel Lego Shipbuilding Contest

Only a few years ago I held a similar nostalgia for when Lego had a much smaller variety of elements and imagination was the key ingredient. I looked at a Lego banana and said, “What else could this be but a banana? How can this foster creativity?” It didn’t take long for me to see that banana put to use as a horn, smile, weapon (as all elements eventually find themselves in the hands of boys), mustache, lever, nose, tongue, or any number of curved objects. 

The Friendliest Minotaur

My sons started playing with Lego at our local libraries. Big, unsorted piles and no instructions. They applied their imaginations with ease and learned to break down their builds after a couple hours. These habits served them well as loving family began to shower us with official sets during birthdays, Christmas, and all types of occasions.

I was wary of the licensed sets with built-in stories and characters. Again, it didn’t take long for my sons to twist, expand, and mash-up the characters and stories. My elder son became masterful at using our wide variety of minifigure parts to create his own heroes and villains or copy them from books and movies. He also recreates his favorite scenes while his younger brother builds endless assortments of wacky beasts and insane vehicles.

Sets rarely stay together for long. Sometimes following the instructions is just to check off a line item and the model is immediately disassembled to access new elements.

The 2018 SS Mary Zerbey Memorial Seasteader, built in honor of the wife and mother we lost weeks earlier.
My son’s free build copy of the Haida Spirit Boat in the Copeland Maritime Center’s Watercraft of the World gallery.

Sorting starts at the model level. The larger the set, the more need there is to categorize the elements and place them roughly into piles. Sorting of larger collections does take parental guidance, but it is worth it when they can access the full breadth of the inventory to fuel their imaginations.

Our Unikitties
A collaborative train project by almost a dozen homeschoolers.

Dr. Barahona claims Lego has become a “closed” toy, to be built and displayed. I assert that this only occurs without a little creative encouragement.

However, I would concede that this is not a pursuit for the minimalist.

The question at 6:00 am: What to build?

God bless,
Jason

p.s. – For his “Mind Body Soul Time” today my elder once again chose Lego building.

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Listening In: Matt Lewis with Andy Crouch on Putting Technology in its Proper Place

Matt Lewis recently spoke with Andy Crouch about his new book, The Tech-Wise Family.

Mr. Crouch has ten rules with implementable recommendations for how to take control of the devices that are running your life. Some are easier than others, but it wasn’t until the end of the conversation that the message spoke to me.

Rule #10: We show up in person for the big events of life, we learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability, we hope to die in one another’s arms.

My late wife was present. She didn’t have a smart phone and her tablet was tucked away most of the time. She spent her working hours in front of a screen and spent every other possible moment with her friends and family.

At the very end of her life, the machines were disconnected, the lights were lowered, and she was surrounded by loved ones. It wasn’t planned, it was just right.

I’m working to reach that Mary-level of presence. It takes conscious effort as I try to find income online and quell an uneasy loneliness. I’m trying to connect with people on professional and personal terms, but not neglect my sons and the attention that they deserve from me at this time.

I type all this as they sleep and I hope to finish before they wake. I pledge to be present today and make a renewed commitment to show up for the big events of life.

God bless,
Jason

Hear the whole conversation with Mr. Crouch here and subscribe to Matt Lewis and the News on iTunes, Stitcher, or my favorite podcast app, Overcast.