You know how kids pretend to be sick to avoid going to school?
They’re not pretending.
They have fears, discomforts, a sense that their soul is being compromised, or their biology is simply telling them NO.
It’s a gut feeling. It manifests as tightness in the stomach.
Home education is not immune, we all try to lovingly push our children when we feel that the discomfort is worth overriding.
How many times can we afford to override our gut feelings?
How does school teach us that we must do this repeatedly, maybe daily?
How does it train us to normalize discomfort and chronic syndromes?
In my process of deschooling, I have discovered that the body speaks when we cannot/do not speak the proper words.
Christmas Eve with Boys
As often as my sons get bruised and cut, it’s not too often that we end up in the hospital.
This collision with a trampoline calls for a few stitches. Every urgent care walk-in near us was closed, so here we are, in the emergency department.
Isaac’s Talents
He’s a hungry reader, budding trumpet player, and maturing jiu-jitsu practitioner. I love his different interests, but his fondness for baking brings the most joy to our house.
This week he celebrated Kristen’s birthday with gluten-free Brazilian cheese bread (holy smokes!) and her favorite chocolate cake.
On a Walk
The boys ran, jumped, raced, and climbed more than they walked, but it was a wonderful way to spend the waning day with them.
A Loving Parent Must be Whole
This is impossble and unhealthly. One’s capacity to love is only as deep as one’s love for Self. We must love ourselves first before we are capable of loving another.
Look at the image. The father isn’t intact. He’s not whole. A loving parent must be whole.
To My Sons
And all the males reading this.
This Teen
Westen has been getting a lot of attention with his musical endeavors, but Isaac has been quietly carving out his own narrative through jiu-jitsu, stage Shakespeare, rifle club, and trumpet.
Maybe it’s the length of Westen’s shadow combined with inherited rebeliousness, but Isaac’s growth has also come with a lot of trouble.
We’re struggling through his 14th year, much like we did with Westen, but I see him gaining skills in many disciplines.
Homeschool Now
My 15-year-old is also entering 10th grade, but I don’t think he knows it. We’ve been homeschooling since kindergarten, but don’t use schoolish conventions like grades.
My first advice would be to go for it. I was an energetic and intelligent student and high school only got in the way of my learning.
You can pull a student from a Delaware school at any time: https://education.delaware.gov/families/k12/homeschools-and-private-schools/opening-a-nonpublic-school/
If you decide to homeschool, do a deep dive on Deschooling. I have some articles at DelawareDad.com. The basic idea is to analyze and clear out the assumptions trained into us (parent AND child) by the government education system. I took what I learned about deschooling and applied it to a broader set of assumptions I was living under. It changed my life: politics, philosophy, religion…everything changed.
The scary start looks like an extended summer vacation. For a teen, that’s going to be rocky and take some bravery on your part. The first idea is that we need time to gain space from the innumerable indignities of school. Think of it as taking time for yourself after a bad relationship.
Ask all your questions. Don’t worry about “success.” Worry about raising happy and healthy humans who can recognize their own needs and have the tools to fulfill those needs.
Date Day
Kristen and I try hard to have regular dates. With a small business and three active teens in our care, it ain’t always easy.
Our favorite dates are in the woods, stopping frequently to bathe in the smells, sights, and sounds around us.
What the Bible Taught me About Parenting
As the Father, God created humans and, because He loved them, He gave them free will.
We’ve made a mess of things with that free will, but we’ve also created beautiful representations of the original Creation.
He continues to love us. I try to love my children like God loves us. I try to find the bravery that God had when He gave us free will.
My boys make a mess of things, but they also do amazing things and love deeply.