Category: Positive Parenting

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Growing up “Gifted”

Our gifted programs were called LEEP and PROBE. I forget what the acronyms meant, but being labeled “gifted” was an invaluable experience.

I was an energetic kid (this won’t be this story’s last shocking revelation). Luckily, even with ADD (ADHD wasn’t mainstreamed yet) diagnoses on the rise, I had parents who inherently resisted systemic pressures and honored my Tazmanian Devil-style of learning.

Wildly sober, I wasn’t considered for the gifted program in early elementary. Midway through 4th grade, a teacher finally insisted that I be tested. I was excited to get to miss classes once a month with the smart kids (we were bussed to a special learning center). They were less enthusiastic. They all got tested in 1st grade, logically concluding that it wasn’t anything special to pass the entrance exam after three more years of school. It was an IQ test, not age dependent, but no one cared to explain the nuances to us subjects.

For the next eight years, I existed in a liminal educational space. The smart kids never accepted me as one of their own, but everyone else saw me get on the gifted bus and go to honors and seminar classes.

For good and ill, I had inherited an inclination to not give a shit about other people’s opinions.

LEEP and PROBE offered deep dives into subjects that were hardly broached in school. Genetics, computer programming, environmental studies, photojournalism, and filmmaking were highlights of those years. I also had my first experience with a Muslim convert, observing my favorite teacher, Mr. Lowe, change his name and appearance to conform to his new beliefs. These buildings became a symbol of a world of possibility where I was free to explore. The day-to-day of the regular school building was a constant battle to resist grey standardization.

The meme above has little to do with my experience. The late bestowing of the label “gifted” forced me to embrace my independent nature. God set me against these social anxieties (he had a whole other set of difficulties picked out for me).

I was blessed to be largely free of the academic pressures. I’m doubly blessed to be able to offer a similar freedom to my sons in our home education environment.

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Jesus Goes For The Throat

This is what an Immaculate Flying Armbar looks like.

Last night I floundered. I let fatigue get to me. I let my insecurities run wild. I let my temper out on my children and caused a lot of wreckage. I busted my grandmother’s rosary…again. I froze. I asked Jesus for help, but I didn’t mean it. Or, at least, I wasn’t listening for the answer.

This devotional and these verses were waiting for me this morning.

Proverbs 19:21 KJV — There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.

Colossians 4:2 KJV — Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving;

Philippians 3:7-8 KJV — But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

I’m looking for the opportunity here. I’m looking for deeper healing. Maybe if I had been keeping up with my devotional readings I would have read this before blowing up.

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Fun-A-Day 2023

Catching up on all our builds!

Boin Island
Fat Usopp

This year, my sons and I committed to creating a Lego One Piece build every day for the month of October.

Chew Chases Usopp
Arlong Park

This was our most collaborative year participating in Delaware Fun-A-Day.

My eldest son (Westen, 14) and I don’t know much about my younger son’s (Isaac, 12) favorite manga. Isaac was our guide in choosing subjects, finding referencing pictures, and providing narrative context. It was encouraging to see him take on the role of project manager while also putting together a couple of our most impressive Lego scultpures.

His first build was The Red Force, captained by Shanks, mentor of the main protagonist, Monkey D. Luffy.

The Red Force

Westen’s specialty is minifigures and scenes. One Piece has many wild ships and islands, but the characters bring the world to life.

Vinsmoke Judge Battles Sanji
Crocodile
Luffy Battles Kaido
Monkey D. Luffy
Drum Castle
Shanks
Charlotte Katakuri
Pandaman
The Execution of Gol D. Roger
Red Leg Zeff
Pearl, Don Krieg, and Gin

I thought a “raft” would be a simple build, but Blackbeard’s Raft grew into one the month’s largest.

Blackbeard’s Raft

Capone Bege captains Nostra Castello, an amphibious castle.

Capone Bege and Capone Pez
Nostra Castello
Roronoa Zoro
Zoro Clashes with Dracule Mihawk
Aokiji Battles Akainu

The Big Top was a fun challenge from the color scheme to the main tent and clownish insignia.

Westen completed the build with an almost-to-scale Captain Buggy.

Buggy
The Big Top

Westen’s imagination shined on his dynamic depiction of a One Piece game feature.

Brooke’s Soul Guitar Attack

Isaac’s re-creation of Torino Kingdom is one of my favorites. His waterfall effect is exceptional.

Torino Kingdom
The Hitsugibune
White Beard
Blackbeard vs. Ace
Roronoa Zoro

The following builds were from my own imagination. When I was stuck on a One Piece build, I would clear my head with another nautical build.

The orange hydrofoil came out of a challenge to use Lego separators and a single color. I had to bend the rule for a couple bushings.

These two grumpuses are not going to be happy at the Delaware Fun-A-Day Opening!

The Canary Camel was also born out of a challenge to only use the classic Lego yellow.

I made this island oasis when I was intimidated by the more complicated One Piece designs.

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NSFW: Pornographic Comics in the Kids’ Section

WARNING: I include graphic images in this post to make clear the extreme nature of the discussed material.

My 12-year-old son discovered the following book in the New Juvenile display in the entrance way of Appoquinimink Community Library. This is the listing from the Delaware Library Catalog:

It is labeled for placement in adult collections. At the very least, the library should have recognized this as material to be handled with extra care and not featured among children’s books. At worst, it may be an attempt to introduce children to images they are not yet prepared to process.

My trust in Delaware libraries has withered in recent years. I do not assume that this was purely a mistake. I do not believe they have enough concern for local families to protect children from inappropriate material. I do not believe they respect parents’ choices in how they raise their children.

I held onto the book as long as I could, but I returned it today.

Page 10

I will complete a Request for Reconsideration Form and hope that Appoquinimink can find a better use of this shelf space. I will also request that an additional level of security is placed on materials that the library’s own system labels as pornographic.

Page 16

As this book will be returning to the stacks this week, I will use this post to make local parents aware that we must keep a close eye on the activities at our libraries. Their actions betray their words when it comes to serving Delaware families.

These images are not the worst I could have shared; but frankly, I was embarrassed to publish the most grotesque depictions.

Page 57
Too true for this book.
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Dad, You’re Such a Boomer!

-Embarrassed Children

Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase, with no additional cost to you.

I love meeting new people and finding connections, but moreover, I LOVE embarrassing my kids. They hate it when I hand out random information or try to help strangers find their way. Earlier in the day, I ran across a parking lot to compliment a gentleman on his Lego t-shirt in the style of Van Gogh’s self portrait.

While relaxing on the field between sets at Bourbon & Beyond, I noticed the guy behind us wearing an Offspring Smash t-shirt.

I leaned back and said, “That’s really cool, my first concert was when they toured on that album in ’94.” He replied, “Ha, I saw them in 2018.”

“Oh my God, you’re such a boomer!”

I think it was Kristen’s daughter’s words, but my boys agreed with exasperated teen noises.

I live for these moments. I’m close to three decades worth of concerts under my belt and I still get the rush of emotion to my skin when magic hits the stage. I still dance like I want to and holler like a fool when a band breaks out a surprising cover or solo.

Soon, these kids will be going to shows without me. I’m thrilled for their growing freedom, but I’m going to take advatage of every chance I get to make them red-faced before that happens!

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Skip the Debate, Try Listening

My father taught me how to debate and I have taught my sons.

Although most people are terrible at debating, it is an overrated skill.

What I am striving to teach myself and model for my sons is Listening.

Debating is about power, whether subtle persuasion or overt rhetorical dominance. Listening is about love. What stands out in the Gospel is how Jesus listened and responded to people. I learned too late in life that listening might be the most powerful form of love. In the least, it is a way we can love those who are strangers to us, whether they be foreign in ideology, culture, or any rooted identity.

You make more friends with listening. You learn more. Through this seemingly simple act, you can model the way you live and really persuade people that you are doing something they want a piece of. That’s the persuasion I want to excercise in the world. A persuasion of the heart, so that the person I deeply disagree with walks away from our conversation and proceeds to listen to someone they disagree with. We can all keep disagreeing, but I doubt we’ll enter greater conflict after we’ve listened to one another.

On the practical end, Yes, I would start with the New Testament. Watch Jesus with strangers, enemies, and his closest companions. He is the same Listener to them all.

Next, Iove Lex Fridman and Joe Rogan. Fridman has many guests he disagrees with and handles them with loving grace. Rogan has less challenging guests, but he is an impeccable listener. I believe it is why he is so popular. This skill is as rare as diamonds.

All that said, I still have a blood thirsty debater thrashing around inside me. The most civil and informative debate venue I know is The Soho Forum. Scott Horton recently destroyed Bill Kristol on American military interventions and it was delicious, especially since I formerly held Kristol’s position, until my transformation into a loving, listening, follower of Christ began.

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Rogan on Parenting?

In this interview, Joe Rogan explores a wide range of trauma-related issues with Dr. Gabor Maté.

From Maté’s discovery of personal trauma after decades as a celebrated healer to Rogan’s insightful advice on parenting, my sons and I found a lot of surprisingly useful information in this conversation.

Disclosure: The link below is an affiliate link, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.