The man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. -Genesis 3:8
This blog and my online presence has largely been an effort to not hide. I know I can’t hide from God, but staying accountable to as many people as possible helps me stay out of trouble. Sort of.
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The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. -Genesis 2:15
God created us to create. I do that in this space. I do it with my sons in all types of ways. I create connections and strengthen bonds between people I know so they can create.
All of our actions create change in the world.
What are you creating?
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Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed, “Everyone is looking for you!” -Mark 1:35-37
Jesus had a habit of going off on his own to reconnect with the Father. This is the first weekend I haven’t had my sons with me in over two months. I’m not alone, but this weekend is about connection. Yesterday I connected with myself in difficult jiu-jitsu competition. I paused in the middle of the day to take time with God’s Word and check in. It’s very easy to fall into the excitement and anxiety of a moment and forget why you are there. This habit of returning to the Word each day is grounding me.
I’m going to carry this connection with me into my first psychedelic experience. I don’t know what I will find there, but I know my heart and mind are with God and He is with me. I feel safe in this place.
As today’s devotional is titled, I’m about to Get Away. I pray in Jesus’s name for continued safety, love, and enlightenment.
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Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy. -1 Peter 1:8
I am blessed with a love of the unseen. My earliest memories are of being in a dark cabinet, imagining mythological avatars in space battles. My father was a rebel among Jehovah’s Witnesses and fed my imagination with Norse, Eastern, and Catholic imagery along side black-and-white monster movies and classic Star Trek.
The unseen was no less real to me than the narrow spectrum of visible light. I felt the Holy Spirit out in the woods…and still do.
I thought faith in Jesus Christ was impossible for me, maybe because He appeared to me as a man who existed in the physical realm. Now I see the invisible garments that the Holy Spirit had been weaving for me. My faith feels inevitable and more comfortable than any belief I wore before.
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These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:7
There is growth in God’s Love or death in rejection of it.
Bret Weinstein and Heather Heying focus on how the human brain has developed to need the expansion of territory and that this fundamental motivation can be simulated through intellectual, physical, and spiritual endeavors.
I grow in Love by keeping my eye on its most perfect form. When I’m living in its light, I love myself better and can share that love with others. The well is infinite and the possibilities of what can be achieved through God’s Love are endless.
I try to grow physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually every day. I’m not always successful and I understand that rest is a necessary component of growth, even if I occasionally crash into it.
This weekend I will have at least two firsts in my physical and spiritual journeys. My first jiu-jitsu competition and my first psychedelic experience. I don’t know how far my horizons will extend, but I know that God has prepared more room for my spirit to expand than I could ever imagine.
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“Go. I am sending you to Pharoah to bring my people the Isrealites out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Isrealites out of Egypt?” -Exodus 3:10-11
Unworthiness. It plagues each of us. Especially when God calls us.
God has called me to do difficult things since I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart.
This weekend I will compete in my first jiu-jitsu competition. An odd sort of mission, but one in line with building strength for the next challenge.
I feel unprepared and intimidated by younger competitors. I will release those fears and trust that I will have a day of intense learning.
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Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains. -Colossians 4:3
God gave me a voice and an ear for widows and widowers. He gave my sons the same for orphans.
After Mary’s memorial, someone said of my eulogy, “Someone walked out of that church with a new love of Christ in their heart.” To have the Holy Spirit work through me in that way was uplifting. It gave me call to share my faith in its ignorant infancy.
I still don’t know much about my faith. My way is to ask questions and be open to answers that I don’t want to hear. It’s the best way to listen to the widowed, be not just prepared, but enthusiastic about hearing something awful and scary.
Evangelism isn’t a sales job for Heaven. It is an opening of the mind to the vast space between Heaven and Hell.
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After this I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. -Revelation 7:9
Everyone is invited to the Jesus party and I’m trying to be like Jesus.
I’ve been excluded from social gatherings, libraries, museums, concerts, and a number of invitations because of my personal health decisions.
I’m getting accustomed to driving farther for services and being creative in filling our needs. I’ve learned that I’m pretty darn good at making friends who respect me enough to trust my judgment.
Those new friends have been the most inclusive. Our “official” social group focuses heavily on inclusion and we have become the most philosophically diverse assortment of humans I’ve ever been around.
Those who have shunned us are welcome to join, but I imagine the names they have called us still dangle from their tongues. My energy is put to good use toward myself, my children, and my friends. I do not need to reach out any longer to those who have chosen to reject us. I will, however, pray that my heart remains open
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It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. -Galatians 5:1, 13
God sent me a clear message over the last 24 hours. My pastor’s sermon, a podcast episode by Isaac Morehouse, and today’s devotional lesson all touched on what “freedom” means to a follower of Christ.
Well. Maybe not so clear. I’m a radical when it comes to love and freedom. I want to move towards an anarchical system that allows individuals to determine their own fates. Morehouse’s summation of why adherence to Christian principles naturally results in laissez-faire capitalism (he does not use the word “anarchy” in any way) is very close to my own set of beliefs.
The other messages vary more from my own trajectory of thought and I hope to take those into account for awareness of confirmation bias (I also plan to listen to the Jonathan Pageau podcast episodes that Morehouse is responding to: Christianity is Not Revolutionary and Christianity Rebukes the Powerful.)
But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
That’s tricky. I’m a passionately sexual creature. Expressing my love for someone in physical terms is a deeply emotional and, increasingly, spiritual experience. If this is an act of sin, so be it, I will continue to ask for forgiveness for all my sins and guidance away from them.
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Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. -Romans 8:26
Words constantly fail me.
In prayer, I connect with God when I let go of my questions, doubts, declarations, and Adam-obsession of placing a name on each and every thing.
Crying, laughing, and body language convey more than any of my love letters, speeches, or blog posts ever did.
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