30 Devotionals: Pilgrimage

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
-Psalm 84:5

As much as I focus on my spiritual journey, I have a somatic need to manifest it in physical ways.

In other words, I gotta move. Physical disciplines like soccer, yoga, and jiu-jitsu enact my pilgrimage inside my body. Roadtrips and adventures are demonstrations of my desire to move forward from where I am to a better place. Riding bikes and simple races and games with my sons bring the Holy Spirit to the surface of my skin.

The pilgrimage is within and without.


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30 Devotionals: Healing Legacy

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message.”
-John 17:20

Grief gave me healing. It shattered my psyche and offered me a choice: Life or Death? It haunted me that God had taken the wrong spouse. In the place where I envisioned my own violent death, I decided to live. I wish I hadn’t had to come that close. It still scares me.

That was where I stopped living in grief and chose to live in healing. It meant spending a lot of time with emotions that I now knew to be deadly. It meant that I had to sit and look at that broken psyche (it hardly seemed like “mine”). Somewhere between visions and visualizations, I found the language to communicate with my brokenness.

It’s an ancient language. I walk with a flickering torch through dark caves covered in moving pictures. It’s an inherited language seasoned with comic book motifs and rock ‘n roll tones. Even those are inherited interests from my father.

It was terrifying to see that my legacy was carved into stone by generations of neglected trauma. I can barely communicate in the language I majored in, how can I address the weight of a seemingly endless past?

The answer is in the torch. The flame gives me access to the cave. It is as magical as anything scrawled on those walls. It is fueled by God’s love. Sometimes that love comes through the memory of my late wife, that was how I first found the flame. Sometimes it radiates through a close relationship or inspiring speech. Sometimes I feel God’s love pouring directly through me, into my arm and hand and torch, and the cave is illuminated in revelation.

Then I can see far back into the pain and a little ways forward into the healing.

Generational trauma runs impossibly deep. Maybe it takes an air of foolishness to want to heal it. Maybe all great endeavors require intentional ignorance to the potential costs of failure.

Christ is a healer and the physical world is beyond healing. To follow in His path, I look to the spiritual world. That is where I can heal my soul with His love and pray that I can radiate for others.

My legacy will not be on Earth, but with Jesus Christ.


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30 Devotionals: Teamwork

In Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
-Romans 12:5

Offense and defense. Radical and measured. Talkative and contemplative.

Teams must be made up of varied personalities to succeed. Relationships are the smallest team unit. A variety of skillsets and and honoring of differences are vital to any team.

Within the diversity, a common cause creates the purpose of the team. Common cause and mutual respect strengthen the team toward its goal.

As followers of Christ, we can look to each other for support, inspiration, and sharing. Within our differences lies the desire to be more like Jesus Christ.


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30 Devotionals: Be The Proof

“May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”
-John 17:21

I try to be vocal about being a follower of Christ because I want to share what it has done for me. I want to be that example of love in the world. I fail everyday and I succeed among the failures.


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30 Devotionals: Becoming One

“That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”
-John 17:21

One line struck me from today’s devotional lesson: “Like porcupines cuddling in the cold, we often hurt each other as we seek connection.”

Not only are we porcupines in the cold, but we are also in the dark and can’t see our own quills.

We often don’t know our own brokenness. We hurt inadvertently, or through the repetition of a pattern that hurt us, yet still feels familiar and safe.

Knowing and loving ourself is critical to loving God and others. Our love for others and God is also also critical to loving ourself. No one love is separated from the others. The outward and inward work is constant and interdependent.

That work brings our broken and disparate loves into a single place. It integrates ourselves with a Heavenly vision and creates a life full of love.


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30 Devotionals: Minor Temptations

“Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
-Matthew 6:13

I started my day with yoga and prayed through most of it. The theme was Joy and how it is the intersection of Love and Happiness. I couldn’t stop thanking God for the abundance of these in my life. I almost came to tears a couple times. I like quietly crying during hot vinyasa because no one can tell through the sweat pouring off me.

Most of the day was spent walking outside with my sons and friends and I was tired early in the evening.

Temptation set in as I wanted to avoid a jiu-jitsu class that I dearly need as I prepare for my first competition.

I dragged myself to the class and wore myself out more quickly than usual. Maybe rest would not have meant giving into the devil, but I knew that staying my training course meant honoring the body that God gave me and becoming a stronger student.

The minor victories add up. God has granted me a level of energy that I sometimes underestimate. I don’t always know what to do with it. I pray for the wisdom and vision to continue faithfully down my path.


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30 Devotionals: Beautiful Difficulty

“Forgive us our debts, as we have also forgiven our debtors.”
-Matthew 6:12

That Jesus has forgiven my sins humbles me every time I think on it. I find it nearly impossible to forgive myself for the wrongs I have done to myself and others. Knowing more about the damage I have done than I ever could, God’s infinite love still forgives.

I don’t struggle too much with forgiving others. My own brokeness doesn’t let me judge too harshly or take much personal offense. It does hang on me and makes forgiving myself more difficult.

Today I will follow Jesus’s example and find more grace for myself.


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30 Devotionals: What are you eating?

“Give us today our daily bread.”
-Matthew 6:11

“Keep God at the center of all things,” is a daunting command. However, when applied to any given decision, one sees how it can simplify life and enhance awareness of, and gratitude for, your blessings.

I am in the slow process of bringing our eating closer to God’s earth. Less processed food is a good step. A messy and not-so-productive garden is a harder journey.

I am grateful for our successes and stumbles as we get closer to our food and closer to God.

30 Devotionals: Creators

“Your kingdom come, your will be done. On earth as it is in Heaven.”
-Matthew 6:10

God made us to be creators like Him. We write, sing, draw, and speak and each of our actions and words creates the circumstances around us.

To do God’s will, we need to listen carefully to our prayers and pay close attention to Scripture. Once in alignment with His will, we are positioned to create an earthly existence that is nearer to Heaven than Hell.


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30 Devotionals: Holy

“Hallowed be your name.”
-Matthew 6:9

I love how this text is breaking up the Lord’s Prayer to focus on individual phrases.

God’s name is “hallowed” or “holy” because He is not of this world. Our ability to experience the Holy is limited by the material world. The more we release ourselves from worldly concerns, the closer our relationship with God becomes.


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