The healing journey of a widowed, unschooling badass in Delaware.
Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.
-Luke 15:6 NIV
I read this verse on the Our Daily Bread app today, along with this prayer.
Thank You, Jesus, for finding and loving me! Please send me in Your joy to another who needs You today.
No matter how lost I may feel, I return to the comfort of knowing that Jesus has found me.
My study of Exodus is centered around Jordan Peterson’s roundtable discussion series hosted at Daily Wire.
Peterson’s series on Genesis was deeply informative on the journey to finding Christ in my heart. His academic approach to the text eased much of the resistance my over-thinking brain placed in my path.
This new roundtable format relieves a concern I’ve had that Peterson has created few original insights since his recent health troubles. In this group are Christian and Jewish scholars who do not shy away from the spiritual importance of the text. I’m on episode 5 and Dennis Prager stands out with his knowledge of the Hebrew language and the Torah.
I highly recommend this series to anyone who wants to understand the foundational stories of the major religions. They are behind a paywall and I have no affiliation with the Daily Wire. The app is easy to use and videos will continue to play when the phone’s display is off. I exclusively listen to content if I’m not sharing the experience with someone else.
There is a ton of content at the Daily Wire and I’m pleased with my choice to pay for a year of access.
I haven’t been writing about this chapter in my faith journey, but I have been studying Exodus and the Old Testament.
I find myself without a place of worship. It’s a private part of my path, yet I believe it is important to share that I am trying to walk in Christ’s footsteps every day.
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“…and that’s just my personal opinion not my religious opinion…”
Christians have a problem. How can one’s opinion of another human be devoid of religion? Is religion not the lense through which we determine good and evil in the world? Is it not how we mitigate emotional judgment? Is judgment not reserved for God? How can we speak to each other in insults?
“Don’t bring my religion into it…”
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Don’t put your confidence in your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
What ever you do, whether in word or deed, do it in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him.
-Colossians 3:17
I am often wrong. I often act out of anger and ignorance. I often fail to give thanks to God for all that I have. I often fall short of thinking of Him in all that I do.
I am not judging the self-proclaimed Christian who insulted me on a public forum and doubled down when given the oppotunity to retract. I believe I can use this moment to remind myself and others that the world is watching us and that, whether we like it or not, we are always Christians and always judged as such.
I can only speculate that this insult was inspired by a differing political opinion. Politics robs us of spirituality. It is entirely worldly. Politicians seek material wealth and oppressive power over others, no political career is driven by spiritual riches.
I pray that Christians can be released from the political trap set by the world’s elite to pit us against each other. We must rise above power grabbing and begin to love one other.
Him we proclaim, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man mature in Christ. For this I toil, striving with all the energy which he mightily inspires within me.
-Colossians 1:28-29 RSV
I stay humble, but unafraid, in sharing my relationship with Christ. I try not to preach, but I also don’t let too much conversation pass before making my faith in God known.
This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.
-Colossians 1:6 NLT
A setback here, a consolation or two there, today was a mixed bag.
I took a break with God’s word in the middle of my day and remembered how much my life has changed since I experienced the critical words in this verse: “…and understood the truth…”
I had heard the Word my whole life. As a youth in the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I studied it. I understood much of it on an intellectual level. In adulthood, I thought the lessons and warnings could lead me to righteous living.
They did not. My drinking and temper problems were impervious to the rules and dictates I tried to impose.
It wasn’t until my heart opened to relationship with Jesus Christ that I began to heal in His grace. Through His love I found a way to love myself and treat myself as God, the Father, wished.
Understanding comes through the heart, not the brain.
May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
-Philippians 4:23 NLT
I have been blessed with much grace.
I pray that I may have the patience and compassion to extend that grace to those around me. God’s gifts of love and forgiveness have no end. We can be transmitters of those gifts into the world.
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“Do to others what you would want them to do to you.”
-Luke 6:31
One of the best quotes of parenting advice I know goes something like, “Treat your own children as you would your best friend’s children.”
I have a lot of children in my life. I may do the most for my own, but I also treat them the worst.
I’m getting better. I’m treating myself more kindly. It gives me the capacity to treat my sons more lovingly.
That’s the forgotten observation of the verse from Luke. Others often treat us better than we treat ourselves. Loved ones, and even strangers, will forgive us and extend us grace for indiscretions that keep us up at night.
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To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
-Philippians 4:20 RSV
When I asked to be removed from church emails about children’s activities that required masks and pushed untested vaccines, I got the following response:
Hi Jason,
We’ll be happy to remove you from this list. Do you also wish to be removed from all church lists including the membership list?
I’m glad you’ve found a church that meets your needs and I will reiterate from my last email that you and the boys will certainly always be welcome to come and visit Mary any time you want. Simply give me a call and I’ll be here to let you in.
To be sure, I used strong language in condemning these policies and mentioned that Iron Faith Fellowship had accepted my entire family without care for our personal, and private, health choices.
I was shocked to receive an enthusiastic offer to remove my family from the church rolls. I’ve been unable to find a response for months.
Before they closed their doors to worshippers, we had spent many hours per week serving and celebrating in that building. The very week before Two-Weeks-To-Flatten-The-Curve, my sons and I slept at the church while homeless families found shelter, hospitality, and meals under the same roof. My wife’s cremains are at rest there and I haven’t visited her in years. The Griefshare meetings that may have saved my life before Lockdown were cancelled when the whole world was grieving.
They are happy to see us go. It’s hard to read that again.
My rational mind understands that we have found better places to worship and more loving communities to embrace us. I haven’t gotten one note I can think of from our *former* church brothers and sisters wondering where we have been. I can understand, but my heart continues to hurt.
I will accept their offer today. Maybe I’ll feel comfortable visiting Mary once I’m officially an outsider. Maybe it’ll hurt less once I don’t receive the email reminders from that committee or volunteer group.
Today I renew my relationship with God. A relationship that requires no building, nor pastor, to mediate it.
To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
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Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
-Philippians 4:6 RSV
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:19 RSV
I take comfort in these words from Paul to the church at Philippi. He was in prison and writing in a celebratory tone of abundance. Hope and comfort. Comfort that God can engender this powerful positivity and hope that I can stay with the Holy Spirit in dark times.
Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.