Category: Digging for Courage

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Don’t Lie to Yourself

“We didn’t even have a lockdown, and the impact of Covid is very minimal compared to other countries … but still we see this big increase in the number of suicides,” said Michiko Ueda, an associate professor at Waseda University in Tokyo, and an expert on suicides.

https://edition.cnn.com/2020/11/28/asia/japan-suicide-women-covid-dst-intl-hnk/index.html

Japan has the data on suicides that must be occuring all over the world. Harsher Lockdowns, arbitrary measures, and hypocritical politicians and virtue police are driving deaths of despair to unconscionable heights.

My 30 days of gratitudes has been a rocky path. I started later than most, missed a day or two, and have been side tracked by my own rough goings.

Today I’m grateful that CNN doesn’t have a Biden foreign intervention to sell yet and is reporting on a critical story that may sway some of the Doomers.

Yep, my lamest gratitude of the month.

I’m also grateful that I’ve gone through intellectual, spiritual, and physical transformations. I’ve changed my perspective on major aspects of life and still love and respect that old Jason who was wrong as shit. I also love myself now, even though I may still be totally full of crap. I’m not afraid to see the truth and repeat it. That’s the only way to grow into harmony with existence. Lies separate you from reality. They twist it into an unknowable thing. Reality is dangerous. Existence is suffering. If you don’t see those facts clearly, they will level you and you won’t know where you are.

I don’t have a lock on truth, but I’m heading in the right direction.

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The Lockdown is Inhumane

My sons and I were supposed to go on a hike today with other families who have lost loved ones. Delaware’s governor imposed regulations this week that forced its cancellation.

This is not okay. These children and parents are facing crushing loneliness. Some of them lost a mother, father, sibling, child, or other close family member during the Lockdown and have had little contact with others.

My children have made friends in this group and meet new, wonderful children each time we get together.

After having met outside several times this fall and summer, there have been no reported cases of Covid-19 within the group.

This group is invaluable to families who have had much of their support structure taken away during the hardest time in their lives.

This is not okay. Children have been kept away from their schoolmates and all of us have had our grief groups and therapists reduced to Zoom, at best.

It’s very difficult for me to connect with someone through an image. In person, I have anxiety and detachment when one, or both, of us are in masks.

I’m concentrating on gratitudes this month, but today is hard. I’m grateful for this outlet. I’m grateful for my widow friends who will meet in person. I’m grateful for the many connections we made before Lockdown and have been able to maintain through it. I’m grateful that I’ve got a lot of fight in me. I’m grateful for my health.

I have an infinite number of things to be grateful for, but today is still hard.

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Grateful for 2020

I got dumped last night and this is one of those posts that I hope no one reads.

I met my now-ex-girlfriend days before 2020 began. We had an instant connection and our romance bloomed quickly. She had met my children and we were in a pretty great place when the Lockdowns hit.

I’m radically full of Love and not inclined to fear death. I lost my wife to complications arising from respiratory infections, so this wasn’t a new threat in my life. I feel like a minority in this view and I was pleased that my girlfriend was accepting of my perspective. There’s no way that two people can have the same risk assessments, but we were pretty close.

We each wrestled with the anxieties and confusions of the mainstream narrative and the Lockdowns. We stayed together through tough times and supported each others lows.

That romance has come to an end, but I don’t have animosity. I am filled with gratitude that I had a supportive and loving partner through most of this year.

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Grateful for Rebel Friends

On the first day of increased Lockdown restrictions I was able to host home educating and distance learning families for a few hours of Lego building and fellowship. We didn’t treat each other as if we were diseased threats, nor did we observe government mandated gathering limits.

These friends are all new. The variety of perspectives and backgrounds in our small group is astounding. I could talk with any of these moms for hours and I love listening to their journeys.

None of them knew Mary. I love hosting people in the home we built together. She would have it no other way. Well, she wouldn’t be okay with the level of clutter that I am.

I’m grateful for the people in my life who will not bow down to nonsensical restrictions on our rights of assembly, movement, and speech.

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Grateful for My Own Platform

Facebook is forcing “fact check” information along with posts about this talk from Tom Woods.

Edit: Youtube pulled the video, you can view it here: https://tomwoods.com/the-covid-cult/

I believe people can watch the video on their own and determine its validity.

I am grateful for having a place to share without censorship.

For more info:

Some COVID Resources

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The Rights to Speak Against Government and Peacefully Assemble

Protests are messy. There are always elements we don’t agree with. We don’t chant and we don’t hold signs. We differ on a lot of issues from the speakers and attendees, but I choose to stand with those who are fighting against a Lockdown that is destroying lives all over the world.

The Lockdown is keeping social, educational, physical health, and spiritual resources away from children and vulnerable individuals. It puts us all in harm’s way. It weakens our souls, bodies, homes, budgets, and immune systems. It has broken peer support groups and strained relationships.

The Lockdown is an experiment without metrics. It is arbitrary and full of the usual corruption. Those who impose it do not know you and do not know what is best for you. Only you can make the best choices for yourself and your family.

Trust yourself and fight for your freedom, every darn inch of it.

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Thankful for Forgiveness

I missed my gratitude blog post yesterday. I haven’t trained jiu-jitsu in weeks due to a skin infection. I yelled at my children. I didn’t know how communicate with my girlfriend. I’ve made people uncomfortable. I missed some cold therapy showers. I haven’t been all that I could be.

I can forgive myself for these things. I can accept Jesus’s forgiveness of my innumerable sins. I am thankful for today and all the opportunities I have to make the world better.

I’m thankful my son’s jiu-jitsu tournament is happening as scheduled. I’m thankful to see friends this afternoon. I’m thankful for live theater tonight. I’m thankful for a beautiful, caring, and patient girlfriend and a chance to work on my communication skills.

It’s a beautiful day.

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A Grateful Troublemaker

Jordan Peterson talks about how at one point in Soviet Russia, 1 in 3 people was informing to the government police. That meant that there was likely someone in your home who might report on your activities or “wrong” thoughts or words.

We’re getting a sample of what that society looks like right now. My business owner friends are terrified of misstepping on a Lockdown restriction and being reported. These informants rarely give the owner a chance to reconcile.

I haven’t seen one person who wears a proper mask properly. So what does one do when they know they’re not in strict compliance? Point a finger at someone else. These screamers in supermarkets know they can’t follow the rules, so they look to put the spotlight on someone they perceive to be an easier target.

Without principles and an understanding of history and psychology, we are heading down a dark, familiar road. The French who started their Revolution ended up dead at the hands of their proteges. The Russians who supported their Revolution ended up in gulags. Alexander Solzhenitsyn was a party loyalist until he was locked away and became the Soviet’s greatest enemy.

Am I making a slippery slope argument? I don’t know, our society is different from those and I’m a ridiculous optimist. But we’re human and fallen and vulnerable to all the same fears that the Jacobins and Societ Communists were.

Either way, I don’t need a slippery slope. I don’t like the society I see right now. I think it is worth fighting against these radical changes that continue to destroy lives every day.

I’m going to be the guy that won’t rat. I’d rather be locked up on Thanksgiving or Christmas than be the one to lock someone else up. That’s the choice. If you think you can lay low and let this blow over, if you think you can give up a couple family get togethers and get back to “normal,” if you think you can be compliant enough to not take a side, I promise you’re taking the wrong side and you will end up crushed under the thumb of the regulatory state.

I’m grateful for history, psychology, and my God given love of the individual. I’m grateful for the fight that He has put in my heart. I’m grateful that I was made this way.

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A Grateful Heart

I’m grateful for the rebel heart that God has put in my chest. My love for life blazes fiercely.
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When I see a meme that claims there are alternatives to living this short life to its fullest, I wonder what that looks like?
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A car ride can kill me. A soccer game can lead to a broken skull. A camping trip can lead to weeks of poison sumac infection. Love will hurt. The list of life’s dangers is infinite.
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I choose to live with infinite blessings, looking for the love in each moment.