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The Best Birthday

I started life as a Jehovah’s Witness. I didn’t have a birthday celebration until I had little interest in them. I’d just as soon leave that day unmarked and keep doing my thing. It grew into an actual discomfort around recognizing the day of my birth.

Maybe I’ve watched too many people die to not count my life in moments rather than years. Maybe I’m too focused on the present and fear the passing of time. Maybe I was born an old crank.

Kristen and Westen did a lot to change that this week. I turned 45 on Monday and, with help from my mom and Kristen, Westen planned an elaborate treasure hunt.

Disclosure: The link below is an affiliate link, meaning I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase, with no additional cost to you.

It was based on Red Dead Redemption 2, a video game I enjoy. Although the whole adventure was fun, complete with tracking clues, seeking wildflowers, and hunting a bounty, the highlight was a surprise treasure.

This was my grandmother’s rosary. While I’m not Catholic, I feel an affection toward the traditions and rituals.

My grandmother was Mary Zerbey, my late wife was Mary Zerbey, and I’ve found, at least, one more Mary Zerbey in my family research. This simple image of Mary and Jesus connects me with my faith and my feminine ancestry.

This was the best and most important (excepting the first one) birthday I’ve experienced. I felt fully loved and protected by those around me and the many generations before.

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Battling the Myths

I have been running into more negative opinions on home education lately.

This lifestyle has been too good to us and I feel a responsibility to take apart uneducated attacks on homeschooling.

Following is a social media attack and my response (I get a little hot).

“Specialized instruction or accomodations”? This is the super power of home education. Schools are based on homogenized patterns. Parents in a home education environment spend all of their efforts on specializing the learning environment for their children.

Socialization:
I co-created an in-person homeschool  group in 2020. We welcomed families of all educational stripes. Many of those were schooled and had been abandoned by not just school, but every institution. Their social lives were destroyed and no one cared. We created a social community that has grown to over 1,000 local families. We have met every week for four years and many other groups, clubs, field trips, and extracurricular activities have been born out of ours.

Our families create voluntary bonds, our children are not forced to “socialize” with each other nine months out of the year. School unnaturally silos children into narrow age groups. No where in life does this happen. Our children socialize across generations, including more time to spend with grandparents (my boys have learned about London during the Blitzkrieg from eyewitnesses).

Mental health? What’s the suicide rate doing in schools? My boys just had a government schooled friend, a fucking child, kill himself. That system needs to be dissected and examined for all the medications being pushed by mediocre teachers and nurses.

You are clearly uneducated on how children learn. I did not “teach” my first son how to read after first grade. I never taught my second son. The younger is now 13 years old and burns through books. Curricula are an invention of a system that ignores individuality. Children have curious minds. All one needs to do is pay close attention and feed that curiosity.

Your vitriol betrays an ignorance concerning home education. School has taught you to mock what you don’t understand: if it isn’t on the test, it isn’t important. Your teachers failed you.

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Managed Compulsion

I used to be an alcoholic. I could stay up all night drinking at a party, with a partner, or solo if I really didn’t want to deal with my own humanity.

Part of the problem was my natural energy. I was capable of holding together an apparently functional life because I could drink all night and still show up, at least physically.

Not drinking was the easy part. Finding homes for that seemingly useless drive wasn’t all that difficult either. My life is filled with people and activities and I’m passionate about being my best.

I still wrestle with compulsion. I can get obsessed, but I’m learning to direct it.

Yesterday was the last day for me to build our ship for Kalmar Nyckel’s Lego Shipbuilding Day. My sons had contributed their expertise in minifigures and One Piece lore, but I had a lot of boat to finish.

I stayed up until past 2am to get the Going Merry ready and it paid off. We won 1st place in the 16+ division against some impressively large ships.

That strange energy carried me through a busy day and I’m looking forward to a well-earned sleep.

Delaware’s reigning First Lego League champs ran demonstrations of their robots
The Wreckage