Things got weird at Bourbon & Beyond.
Taco-Flavored Kisses Tuesday
Dad, You’re Such a Boomer!
-Embarrassed Children
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I love meeting new people and finding connections, but moreover, I LOVE embarrassing my kids. They hate it when I hand out random information or try to help strangers find their way. Earlier in the day, I ran across a parking lot to compliment a gentleman on his Lego t-shirt in the style of Van Gogh’s self portrait.
While relaxing on the field between sets at Bourbon & Beyond, I noticed the guy behind us wearing an Offspring Smash t-shirt.
I leaned back and said, “That’s really cool, my first concert was when they toured on that album in ’94.” He replied, “Ha, I saw them in 2018.”
“Oh my God, you’re such a boomer!”
I think it was Kristen’s daughter’s words, but my boys agreed with exasperated teen noises.
I live for these moments. I’m close to three decades worth of concerts under my belt and I still get the rush of emotion to my skin when magic hits the stage. I still dance like I want to and holler like a fool when a band breaks out a surprising cover or solo.
Soon, these kids will be going to shows without me. I’m thrilled for their growing freedom, but I’m going to take advatage of every chance I get to make them red-faced before that happens!
Bourbon & Beyond: Not Enough Pictures
Day three was my most relaxed. There weren’t any “must see” acts on anyone’s list and we were all pleased that Saturday seemed less populated than Friday.
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Old Crow Medicine Show was the highlight of the day. Mary and I saw them maybe 15 years ago and they have more energy now! On top of being world class bluegrass musicians, their personal chemistry was reminiscent of a Rat Pack performance. One-liners, inuendos, down home dad jokes, and physical comedy filled the stage. I love George Jones’ “White Lightning,” but I have never seen it played live. It’s a crack up of a song and Old Crow delivered on all the beats. J.P. Richardsaon, aka The Big Bopper, wrote the song and died six days before its release in 1959.
We also got to enjoy First Aid Kit, Lindsay Lou, The Black Crowes, The Avett Brothers, The Black Keys, and Spoon.
Lindsay Lou was loads of fun and we might check her out again on day four.
Bourbon & Beyond: Mom Shows Up
“Dad, did Mom like this singer?”
Music is the constant and everlasting reminder of the mother and wife we lost.
The emotional swell of a song can lead me to the narrow, indefinite space between peak joy and cavernous sadness.
I had to think about Westen’s question. I didn’t know Brittany Howard‘s name before I started researching the Bourbon & Beyond lineup. I was, however, familiar with her previous band, Alabama Shakes. Mary was too. They grabbed our attention in 2012 with a Daytrotter Session. Daytrotter was our only source for new music as we navigated the first years of parenthood.
They were on our list to go see, a list that only grew as we took little time away from the boys for other passions.
I get to keep working on that list. I get to introduce them to the bands and music Mary loved. I get to show them the camping and concert tricks Mary taught me. I get to weave her into their lives in conscious and subconcious ways.
This introduction was unintentional. Howard’s solo work is different than her earlier work with the Shakes and I didn’t expect the music Mary knew to be played. Even so, Mary visited Westen and put that question in his head. She likes the new material, she approves of Howard preaching Love from Him above. There isn’t a lot of that at these events. It moved Mary to show up and…I don’t know exactly. Maybe to let me know she wasn’t missing out on anything. That’s what makes me most sad about her passing. Even as my current life is entirely incompatible with the life I had with her, it is dreadfully sad to watch her boys grow up without her.
So she shows up and reminds us that they are not without her.
I wonder if she is there in that octopus’s eyes.
I Should Be Blogging
We’re on an adventure and a lot has changed. “We” is now five. Kristen and her daughter have moved in, we started a business (By Her Hand Tattoos), and we’re on our first vacation after a busy summer.
The top photo is from a pool pre-party at Bourbon & Beyond, a four-day music festival in Kentucky.
The kids are selling art and offering face painting in RV camping. This isn’t our usual hippie vibe kind of i7event, but we’re bringing a little weirdness to the glampers.
On day one we saw Lone Bellow, Two Runner, Brandy Clark, some of Mavis Staples, Drew Holcomb, a song from Midland, Billy Strings, Brandi Carlile, and…Train.
Bad news first. Train is as advertised. The setlist was artificially-flavored soft-serve vanilla. I’ve never listened to any of their albums, but I knew all but one song. Their covers were uninspired and they targeted me with two bands I despise (Steve Miller and The Eagles). The lead singer commented on the youth of the crowd, “Anyone old enough to remember this one?” Dude. Your first album came out in ’98. I was in college and I’m close to the mean age of the crowd. Your music is incessantly played in commercials and shows.
The performance wasn’t embarrassing, but every song sounded just like it did on FM, which made me wonder why they perform live at all.
The other performers were fantastic. As a bonus, they were all first time shows for me.
Two Runner was a new discovery and trio filled the spacious bluegrass tent with energy.
Billy Strings was as good as many friends have told me. He plays acoustic bluegrass like it’s speed metal and his band is full of musical wizards.
Brandi Carlile had more fun than anyone at the fest, including attendees. Her set was pure, uplifting joy.
The facilities and organization are top tier. The crowd is fairly boring and filthy when it comes to picking up after themselves. We’ve never been to a fest with this type of conventional vibe, but it is very well run.
We’re starting day two and I’ve snuck in a couple snacks. The weather is beautiful and I am super excited to see Wayne Newton this afternoon! His band is setting up and they are in tuxes!
Skip the Debate, Try Listening
My father taught me how to debate and I have taught my sons.
Although most people are terrible at debating, it is an overrated skill.
What I am striving to teach myself and model for my sons is Listening.
Debating is about power, whether subtle persuasion or overt rhetorical dominance. Listening is about love. What stands out in the Gospel is how Jesus listened and responded to people. I learned too late in life that listening might be the most powerful form of love. In the least, it is a way we can love those who are strangers to us, whether they be foreign in ideology, culture, or any rooted identity.
You make more friends with listening. You learn more. Through this seemingly simple act, you can model the way you live and really persuade people that you are doing something they want a piece of. That’s the persuasion I want to excercise in the world. A persuasion of the heart, so that the person I deeply disagree with walks away from our conversation and proceeds to listen to someone they disagree with. We can all keep disagreeing, but I doubt we’ll enter greater conflict after we’ve listened to one another.
On the practical end, Yes, I would start with the New Testament. Watch Jesus with strangers, enemies, and his closest companions. He is the same Listener to them all.
Next, Iove Lex Fridman and Joe Rogan. Fridman has many guests he disagrees with and handles them with loving grace. Rogan has less challenging guests, but he is an impeccable listener. I believe it is why he is so popular. This skill is as rare as diamonds.
All that said, I still have a blood thirsty debater thrashing around inside me. The most civil and informative debate venue I know is The Soho Forum. Scott Horton recently destroyed Bill Kristol on American military interventions and it was delicious, especially since I formerly held Kristol’s position, until my transformation into a loving, listening, follower of Christ began.
SoCiaLiZatiOn
We are out living life every day.
The boys visited went to our new studio, By Her Hand Tattoos, this morning and learned about how to behave in front of a client. They began to learn, at least.
Then we left for a park day meet up with friends.
Shortly after arriving, a young man just out of college approached our group looking for a cameraman for a Youtube video. I volunteered my elder son, who jumped at the opportunity. They proceeded to run all over the skate park with chalk while performing goofy tricks and engaging the other home educated children.
These are the kinds of interactions that can only happen outside the school framework. This is why we’re out here, to meet and learn from the people in our community.
Return
I haven’t visited Mary’s resting place in a couple years. Some of it was not feeling welcome by the church that houses her cremains. Some of it was not needing that place to connect with her spirit and memory.
For Mother’s Day, my sons wanted to stop by and I was also ready to return.
The courtyard was unkempt and I had a vague feeling that this place no longer held its previous significance.
There is melancholy in that. I’m notoriously rootless and I crave special places and rituals to ground me. There is also freedom. I have taught myself how to engage with Mary’s spirit wherever I am called to it.
Through all these thoughts I turned my eyes skyward and found a remarkable rainbow above us. Although I no longer need this place, it was the right place at the right time.
At the Creek: #30DaysOfArtChallenge
Today’s park day gathering was a feast of interesting sights.
Choosing: #30DaysOfArtChallenge
Most of my process for choosing my first tattoo is composed of all the tattoos I don’t want.
I didn’t find any great ideas in this book about literary tattoos, but the story about a woman getting Eric Carle to draw his Very Hungry Caterpillar on her is cute.
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