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365 Devotionals: The Golden Rule

“Do to others what you would want them to do to you.”
-Luke 6:31

One of the best quotes of parenting advice I know goes something like, “Treat your own children as you would your best friend’s children.”

I have a lot of children in my life. I may do the most for my own, but I also treat them the worst.

I’m getting better. I’m treating myself more kindly. It gives me the capacity to treat my sons more lovingly.

That’s the forgotten observation of the verse from Luke. Others often treat us better than we treat ourselves. Loved ones, and even strangers, will forgive us and extend us grace for indiscretions that keep us up at night.

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An Unschool Moment

My younger son found this amusing book while helping me clean.

Although there is plenty of strong language, there are many new words to challenge my sons and references to important historical figures.

Having books available for discovery might be my best unschooling trick.


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The Guys

We’re an unusual bunch. Home-educating dads aren’t often seen in the wild. They tend to work long hours and jealously guard their time with their families.

Our weekly meetup group has attracted a larger contingent of dads as educational facilitators than I have seen elsewhere. We may be growing as a demographic, or the fact that a dad cofounded this particular group may be a significant factor.

There are more than four of us, but a friend caught this moment today and it is a telling sample. Each of us come from a different perspective and background. We live in different ways, but share a passion for preparing our sons (seven boys among us) to be men.

I’m blessed to have these men in my life.

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365 Devotionals: Offer Accepted

To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
-Philippians 4:20 RSV

When I asked to be removed from church emails about children’s activities that required masks and pushed untested vaccines, I got the following response:

Hi Jason,

We’ll be happy to remove you from this list. Do you also wish to be removed from all church lists including the membership list?

I’m glad you’ve found a church that meets your needs and I will reiterate from my last email that you and the boys will certainly always be welcome to come and visit Mary any time you want. Simply give me a call and I’ll be here to let you in.

To be sure, I used strong language in condemning these policies and mentioned that Iron Faith Fellowship had accepted my entire family without care for our personal, and private, health choices.

I was shocked to receive an enthusiastic offer to remove my family from the church rolls. I’ve been unable to find a response for months.

Before they closed their doors to worshippers, we had spent many hours per week serving and celebrating in that building. The very week before Two-Weeks-To-Flatten-The-Curve, my sons and I slept at the church while homeless families found shelter, hospitality, and meals under the same roof. My wife’s cremains are at rest there and I haven’t visited her in years. The Griefshare meetings that may have saved my life before Lockdown were cancelled when the whole world was grieving.

They are happy to see us go. It’s hard to read that again.

My rational mind understands that we have found better places to worship and more loving communities to embrace us. I haven’t gotten one note I can think of from our *former* church brothers and sisters wondering where we have been. I can understand, but my heart continues to hurt.

I will accept their offer today. Maybe I’ll feel comfortable visiting Mary once I’m officially an outsider. Maybe it’ll hurt less once I don’t receive the email reminders from that committee or volunteer group.

Today I renew my relationship with God. A relationship that requires no building, nor pastor, to mediate it.

To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

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365 Devotionals: Trusting

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
-Philippians 4:6 RSV

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:19 RSV

I take comfort in these words from Paul to the church at Philippi. He was in prison and writing in a celebratory tone of abundance. Hope and comfort. Comfort that God can engender this powerful positivity and hope that I can stay with the Holy Spirit in dark times.

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The Hunt

My girlfriend and I walked in the rain and looked for mushrooms today. This is the best time of year to see a wide variety of mycelium.

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365 Devotionals: Content

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.
-Philippians 4:11 NLT

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From Strength for Today: “Paul had made huge mistakes and caused tremendous pain that scarred his past, but his life changed dramatically when he met Jesus. He began to help others and share himself vulnerably. Instead of bullying his way to victory, he would sometimes go hungry. Instead of being celebrated, he would sometimes suffer loss.”

I’m no Paul (I’ve never gone hungry for one), but I changed when I met Jesus in my heart. Being stubborn, that change continues to be slow. My wife didn’t a chance to see the changes. She passed away a few short months after we were Baptized. She seemed to know so much. I wonder if she saw the changes beginning. She always saw potential in me that I thought I had squandered in my scarred past.

Contentment is tricky. I love myself for what I have become and I love the greater self yet to be revealed.

I love that my boys have been here to see me grow in God’s love. I hope my mistakes can serve as guardrails for their own journeys and that they understand that none of this would have been possible before I saw myself as a child of God.

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Inconsistent Improvement

I’m no good at routine. I am good at returning to the habits that have helped me grow in recent years.

Yoga, Wim Hof Method breathing, an unprocessed diet, soccer, jiu-jitsu, prayer, and intentional time with loved ones were all incorporated into my week. Nothing was consistent and I stumbled through most of the practices. But I did practice.

Each sunrise offers a new chance to return to positive behaviors and find new ones to practice.

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This Must Stop

My heart has been broken more times than I can remember in the last two years. Many Christians, crunchy hippies, family, friends, artists, librarians, and performers bowed to Lockdown propaganda and pledged allegiance to governmental powers that have hindered human flourishing for centuries.

I don’t know how much healing I’ve done. Just when I feel a relationship might be on the mend, another blow is struck.

Delaware Shakespeare begins their Community Tour today. It will be the first time the Zerbeys are not welcome.

I have read more than enough literature to convince me that masks are not healthy for us. This is a sincere and well-read stand for my family’s health.

I have tried to leverage my relationship with Delaware Shakespeare to share this information and make a plea for all of us who are choosing to protect our health as we see fit. It has fallen on deaf ears. Medical freedom will not be honored at their shows.

Below is my most recent communication to them and screenshots of the latest guidelines for Delaware counties. I’m not alone in my sentiments and I hope more lovers of Shakespeare speak up and ask to once again be welcomed into the community.

Dear Delshakes,

I’m very sorry to hear about your masking requirements. You are coercing people into behavior that has been proven to range from neutral to harmful in relation to mental and physical health and wellness. Excluding the parts of your community who are following peer-reviewed studies does not appear to fit your stated purpose of inclusion.

CDC guidance has loosened in healthcare facilities and all guidance for Delaware counties says masks are optional. 

It is never too late to champion individual health and choice. We will be here, waiting.

With Sadness,

Jason

Rereading it now, I wonder how long we will be here. With organizations as large as DelShakes shifting their focus to political and health matters, I wonder how much interest in live theater will wane.

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I Asked for This

“On a mission from God.”

That’s some hubris.

The hubris bit me in the ass today. Or the mission got the best of me.

New home educating friends joined us at our park day and some introductory chatter led to, “What does your wife do?”

The air went out of me. My son was in my lap, goofing and lounging.

I recovered enough to tell our story. I try to tell it a little differently each time. A part of me wishes it was a lot more different. But it can’t be. We’ve gone too far past that tragedy to even comprehend life without it.

So there I am. Just another widower trying not to wreck everyone’s beautiful fall day with his horror and sadness.

That’s when the sadness feels baked in and I expect each happy moment to fade. I know the sadness will always be there waiting for me.

I held all that in until I was alone tonight to write. I got my tears out. The sadness fades even now and I know the happiness waits for me.