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Seeing Deeper

I’ve been on a search for my deepest traumas, the ones that occurred before I was born and before my parents were born, the ones that escape memory.

They travel back to Adam.

I’m not so foolish (or am I?) to think I can integrate original sin into my psyche. I just want to dig as deep as I can in my short time in this body. I want to do the work so my children and their children won’t have so much of this burden.

Therapy, meditation, prayer, self love, acceptance, and radical openness all play their parts. Deep traumas require deep love to heal.

At night I visualize the ancient pains. They appear as monsters, caves, and vast bodies of water with bottomless trenches.

All of these images have emerged out of a formless mass thqt appeared to me about six months ago. They’re not yet coherent, but they are beginning to communicate their meanings to me.

They form narratives, driving me to solve puzzles and unravel their metaphors.

A legion swallowed me at the bottom of a dark sea and revealed that all of history was built on death and suffering, that everything in this world grows out of decay.

Then it spit me out on a sunny shore, an abandoned beach. Marooned.

I don’t know if it’s an island or if I will find civilization or more monsters here. I do know that I need to appreciate the sun. Too often, I dive right back into the depths, searching for the next ugly spot to heal. This time I’m going to walk the beach and feel the warmth for a night or two.

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Arguing with Memes

It’s more important to empower parents into educating their own children.

1. Parents are enough. No one can know our children’s needs like we do. No one can be as invested in their success as we are. No one will protect them like we will. No one is better suited to these tasks than a child’s parents.

2. Hiring a private teacher is out of financial reach for most current homeschoolers and most of the families on the cusp of leaving the system.

3. Teachers have been indoctrinated through government-accredited institutions. I know plenty who have left the system and reject its assumptions; however, most ex-teachers bring their schoolish ways into the homeschool world.