Unschool and Deschool

My wife and I didn’t consider homeschooling until the summer before kindergarten.

One of the things I most regret not learning about before we started was that we had already started. The state’s calendar has nothing to do with healthy learning or development.

Academics are not primary for us. If an individual is physically secure, spiritually fulfilled, and mentally healthy, he/she will know what, when, and how to learn.

I wish I had learned about deschooling and unschooling before I started. Breaking down the assumptions of the governmental education system was critical for my personal healing and in creating a better learning environment for my children.

I post a lot about unschooling and I see it in such broad terms that I could include all of my Learning Lifestyle posts as part of that subject. At root, it is a learning environment focused on individual needs, desires, and talents. We do this as adults, whether it’s attending a voluntary training course through work, borrowing a book, or joining a gym. We take ownership of our interests and feed them. There is no reason that children shouldn’t have the same opportunity. The sooner they learn how to fuel their own growth, the sooner they become free of influences that claim authority.

I was already unschooling myself, I just needed to apply the concept to our home education lifestyle. Deschooling runs deeper. It changed my life, opened me up to faith in Christ, and has allowed for perpetual healing.

In the homeschool world, “deschooling” is the process of pulling a child from a learning institution to begin home education. It usually consists of a “break” from schoolwork and there are loose formulas for X number weeks of break to reset from Y number of years in school.

My children were never in school, so they weren’t in great need of a break from that, but I learned about this process as I was recreating MY school experience in our home. I was the one who needed to deschool after a decade and a half in educational institutions.

The start/stop bells, busy work, grades, and authoritarian rule were the easiest for me to identify and put on the chopping block. I like to follow through on ideas to the end of their logical usefulness and started analyzing the social habits, fears, and assumptions about my fellow man that I had carried from school into parenthood. I did not like much of it. I started looking closely at the programming and patterns from my youth that were not healthy. I dug deeper to find parental and multi-generational traumas that I was, and am, carrying.

There is no end to the logical usefulness of deschooling.

At a glorious point on the journey you no longer blame school, your parents, or The System. You see that everyone is broken in infinite ways. That means we each have the gift of inifinite healing in a lifetime. That means I can gift my children with an inheritance of a better way to live.

I can’t think of a better intention to have toward my role in my children’s development.

365 Devotionals: Peace

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
-Colossians 3:15

There was a lot of chaos in my house today. I wasn’t nearly Christ-like.

Sometimes my peaceful parenting journey feels like it’s in reverse. Even so, I apologized and promised my sons that my temper is my responsibility and not theirs.

Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. 

Front Row Reading

The Zerbeys are front-row types.

I never formally taught Isaac how to read. His mother and I read aloud daily, attended storytimes multiple times a week (here we are at Brandywine River Museum of Art eight years ago), modeled a love of reading as adults, and filled our world with books.

My sons were able to develop a love of reading without authoritarian dictates. They discovered themselves in books, and continue that lifelong process.

We are born with an innate understanding that knowledge is critical to survival. The acquisition of knowledge should not be outsourced to any authority. It must be an independent endeavor that partners with sources of information to create a true and meaningful map of the world.

Knowledge means survival, but to thrive, we must extrapolate knowledge into wisdom. My sons and I gather information from books, videos, podcasts, mentors, and any variety of disseminators of information, and then we discuss the validity, interconnectivity, and usefulness of the data. I struggle with their interests in social media challenges and video games, and they struggle with my refusal to dumb down my language because I’m talking with children.

Somehow, we find enough patience to listen to each other and try to respect when the one of us isn’t up for Marvel movie theories, Minecraft hacks, or Biblical translation comparisons.

Although reading is largely a solitary excercise, we integrate it into our relationships with community, clubs, friends, and family. It is central to our learning lifestyle.

365 Devotionals: Attitude

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
-Philippians 2:5

Sometimes you have to set some people running.

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365 Devotionals: Process

I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
-Philippians 1:6

My process is slow. I’ve come to a radical place, but it took a lot of detours and doubts and a tragedy or two.

I am grateful for the change the Holy Spirit has manifested in my life and I look forward to the continuation of the process.

Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. 

365 Devotionals: Let Love Rule

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
-Galatians 5:13-14 KJV

The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
-Galatians 5:22-23 NLT

Love is anarchy. It has no laws and no governors. It is freedom from earthly chains. It is the work of the Holy Spirit in each of us.

Disclosure: The links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. 

Suffer Better

I try not to push one podcast episode over and over, but Lex Fridman’s conversation with David Wolpe on Judaism got me through mountains of dishes and laundry today.

The conversation is wide ranging and enlightening.

The only whole heart is a broken one because it lets the light in.
-David Wolpe

I wouldn’t be much without my broken hearts. I feel like I’d be a shell without the broken mind I experienced after losing my wife.

Brokenness is scapegoated for our frailties and flaws, yet it allows us to let light into places that were walled off. Our tragedies, whether self-inflicted, perpetrated against us, or random, teach us more about ourselves than otherwise possible.

Why Faith Matters by David Wolpe

Unsubtle

In a world packed with stimuli, it can be hard to listen to God. Today, He didn’t give me a chance to miss the message.

I got into the car frustrated as my sons had dragged their feet and only half-heartedly helped on the tasks I needed complete for our adventures.

Westen asked to listen to something rogether and I stopped him, “No. You two aren’t listening to me and I don’t want to engage with you right now.” I put my earbuds in and rejoined the same podcast I posted about a couple days ago.

David Wolpe: Judaism

Per usual, it wasn’t five minutes before Westen was talking to me. I attempted patience and waited for my chance to say that I didn’t want to talk. He went on to talk about racism as discussed in the Bible.

The conversation in my ear had turned to tribalism in the Torah and today.

Okay God, I get it, thanks.

I pulled the earbuds out and heard the rest of Westen’s ideas. I added a couple examples of stories from the New Testament and Isaac gladly joined the conversation.

I am consistently impressed by my son’s minds. They listen keenly and question right down to the principles. I don’t take much credit for this, God sent me these free thinkers to challenge and embolded my faith.

I thank God for knowing that sometimes I need to be knocked back into loving engagement with those around me.

Eight Must-Listen Minutes on Russia, Ukraine, and Humanity

I wasn’t going to blog tonight. I broke my streak (again) a couple nights ago through a silly mistake, I’ve been off balance with many of my self-care routines, and I’ve had my words here used against me. Although I am a tireless optimist and feel good about my life’s direction, I feel distracted.

I should listen to Lex Friedman more often. His sober compassion for humanity is deeply reassuring. In the first 8 minutes of this podcast, he expresses the most important aspects of the current state of the world on which to focus.

I chose this episode for my ride home as I wanted to learn about a religion of which I know little. I found myself refreshed after the opening monologue, and I hope you do too.

David Volpe – Judaism