The healing journey of a widowed, unschooling badass in Delaware.
We don’t have a “typical” day. When questioned about routines, I have too many adventures to share.
Today we went roller skating with homeschoolers, my sons accepted a working gig from a neighbor, and then my older son did duty as Student Stage Manager for a production of Julius Caesar.
The day was filled with helping, socializing, and leadership. We’re exhausted from it all and ready to rest up for more excitement tomorrow.
“Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
-Matthew 7:24-25
There is always another storm. Make sure to build your home on the rock.
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March is that perfect drama of death and rebirth. The Easter season is acted out in nature as early daffodils are smashed by late snow and resurrected by early spring sun.
I worry that too much of my focus is on death. I spend a lot of time outside in the winter and supplement with vitamin D, but late winter brings back the loss of my wife and the weight of long nights.
The days are growing longer and I’ve returned to being outside near sunrise. I can feel my focus turning to the life-affirming resurrection of Christ. The darkest days and the brightest days pushed up against one another.
I thrive on that edge between light and dark. I am a child of my birth month.
Four months ago I wrote about the injustice of venues like Delaware Art Museum demanding their patrons receive an unapproved pharmaceutical product into their bodies that could never be removed.
Almost everyone is dropping these requirements now: the State of Delaware, Philly, museums, concert venues, etc. They coerced permanent health decisions upon their community and didn’t have the fortitude to last half a year in their resolve.
The public deserves assurances that we can trust these institutions to not be prey to the media’s winds of change. We deserve to hear how decisions of this magnitude will be made in the future. We deserve to have some knowledge of the process by which businesses, governments, and public spaces will again consider bullying the people they claim to serve.
I’m going to my first concert in two years tonight. When I bought my tickets there was no vax mandate, then there was, then there wasn’t. All of this in a few months. They wouldn’t refund my money when they changed the terms of the sale, so I will not be likely to trust them with my funds again. Same goes for Delaware Art Museum and all the places that chased a media narrative instead of making careful determinations as to whether they had the right to ask their patrons for this irreversible condition.
I lived happily without concerts for these two years. Living without museums was harder, but there are still many who did not press upon the health decisions of their visitors.
My priorities are clearer now, I know what I can do without. I’m prepared to withhold my support until I can feel trust towards the places that did not trust me to make my own health decisions.
We trekked out to Sandy Hook, New Jersey, for a homeschool adventure to see harbor seals enjoying the last of the winter waters.
I have better pictures, but have to charge my camera before I can load them.
Fortunately, I had my phone to capture some candid moments.
Isaac was crew for Westen’s Steve Zissou-inspired documentary. I’ll have to get ahold of that memory card for a possible Pt. 3.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing, and perfect will.
-Romans 12:2
Transformation is an ongoing process. Patterns of behavior, thought, and feeling are rooted deep in our instinct to seek stability and safety. We return to these worldly patterns when we are fearful and uncomfortable.
The process of growing closer to God meams constant change and long-term improvement. Mistakes are made along the way and we must refocus our minds on the journey.
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I don’t remember ever spending 12 hours in bed before. My sons have been fighting each other, and me, for weeks. Last night I had to hide. I had to rest and escape. It didn’t feel good, but I needed it.
I got up this morning and took my yoga mat into a chilly drizzle to return to my Wim Hof Breathing: 3 repetitions of 30 intentional breaths with retention on the 30th exhale. The rain picked up as I worked through the rounds. I felt healing and cleansing as I prayed and mentally recited affirmations.
I haven’t done daily breathing or journaling in months, maybe a year. It works so well to clear and focus my mind that I take my improved state for granted and drop my practice.
Back to it. I’ve worked very hard to position myself for the opportunites and possibilities that are coming to fruition. I’m returning to my daily disciplines to continue to fuel my growth.
We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
-Romans 8:28
I not take this verse to mean material prosperity or temporal happiness. I take it as an affirmation of His promise of Heaven for those who believe in the Highest. With our eyes toward Heaven, we can see God’s good at work and direct our whole lives toward it.
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Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
-Matthew 19:21
Feeling weak and looking to live His will for me.
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There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
-Romans 8:1-2
I’m praying for grace as I am tested. I know God has given me His grace through Jesus Christ, but I forget to extend it to myself and others.
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Considering the wind, rain, and nearly-freezing temperatures, I was energized and refreshed by how many families joined us today. We even had first-time visitors!
These folks warm my heart and soul. The world would be colder without them.
