Tag: faith

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My Favorite Home Education Question

“How can my husband help?”

My wife and I hadn’t discussed homeschooling and hadn’t even heard of unschooling nor deschooling when our elder son became eligible for kindergarten. A series of hiccups, annoyances, and coincidences inspired us to look at all the options we could imagine. My mind was set as I thought, “If I can’t teach him a kindergarten material, I’m a worthless dad.” We committed to a (school) year of homeschooling with the goal of honestly reevaluating at the end of it. We didn’t have a clear philosophy nor curriculum and were questioning ourselves within a month. The reevaluations came on a regular basis, never scheduled, but imposed by our failures. We talked through all the mistakes and started to see that we could work through minor adversities to discover major rewards. We didn’t stop at the end of that school year, we had established rhythms of learning and saw no reason to disrupt them. The evaluations continued, as did the failures, but our eyes lifted from the day-to-day struggles and gazed out to see what our goals were. It would be two more summers before my boys knew what “summer vacation” meant.

Our sons had shown an inherently strong capacity for learning, that part was relatively easy. What we wanted to model was thoughtfulness, confidence, kindness, and a capacity to love and help others. Although a useful shortcut for the uninitiated, we dropped the term “homeschool” in our personal discussions as we were not creating our version of school, we were practicing a learning lifestyle. Our faith community became a huge part of our mission. Not only could we bring cans of soup on Sunday, but we could hop on the trucks on Monday morning and go visit the people and places that benefited from the donations. We could spend a quiet Friday cleaning up a local park or setting up tables for the church rummage sale. Opportunity was to be had any day of the week.

We continue to find chances to help and broaden our ability to do so. We’ve learned immeasurable lessons along the way and achieved some good along the path.

God bless,
Jason

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One Year on a Long Road

I’ve written plenty about my faith here.

But perhaps I haven’t written enough about how my wife and sons and I accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior twelve months ago. I was the last of us to see the light. Mary and my boys came to faith easily. I gave myself a harder road. But I never treated it lightly. I never used double punctuation. I never intended to insult the faithful, although I’m sure I did many times.

God has gifted me my whole life. I chose not to give full credit for a long time. I started to wake up when I met a girl far out of my league and fell in love. I’d been in love before, but this was sweeter, easier, more honest, closer to faith than I had ever been. Then we had our own little miracles: marriage, an unlikely career, children, and boats more love.

Even with the terrible inadequacy of the English word “love,” I don’t know a better way to describe what transformed me. Love expanded like the universe in all directions, with every hug, kiss, pot of coffee made, load of laundry done, smile, laugh, note left, gallery visited, trail hiked, fire stoked, mistake forgiven, dance, stripe earned, crisis averted, party executed, and on and on I saw love grow each day. The eternal was working in our lives and we were a part of it.

My wiring doesn’t allow me to learn lessons without some work. After Christmas 2016, I set myself to study the Bible and find out if faith in Jesus was right for me or if I was even capable of it. I joined a study group, started reading on my own, listened to commentaries, and openly and honestly discussed my trepidation in many internal conversations.

I joined that study group almost exactly one year before Mary first got sick. God knew I was a hard nut to crack; he gave me 38 years, but that last year with Mary in my life was the most important. Before I knew I had found that faith I was at Bible study and getting a little nervous that I’d soon be unmasked as a non-Christian (I’m not proud of concealing that, but I didn’t want my knowledge journey to be a focus). The group leader asked me, “As a Christian…” I don’t recall what the question was, but I had a small eruption inside of me, that feeling you have on a first date when you know you’re not getting a second date. Then it was gone. Jesus settled that storm and I answered the question. After months of working my brain, my heart let it happen.

I believe wholeheartedly in the Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. A lot of it is hard to understand and I certainly don’t understand half of it. I haven’t and will not stop studying. I’ve known the Holy Ghost to be working in my life for a very long time. I worked through more than a couple belief systems to come to monotheism. The Son, Jesus Christ, was my stumbling block, I found him in scripture and now find Him the most accessible model and guide for my life. I know… “Monotheism AND the Trinity!” I am still asking questions and excited to engage in any honest debate.

As I look back on my first year as a Christian I see a soul that can now find peace in the most treacherous of times. I’m connected to the eternal and to the now. I’ve got a permanence in my life that was impossible without faith in God. I’ve got work to do here on Earth, but this is not where I will come to rest.

God bless,
Jason