I’m proud of my son for getting back on the mats at Elevated Studios this week. He’s been mentally wrestling with attending class. I’ve tried to have patience and remember that if I force him to do a thing, that he’ll eventually hate the thing, me, or himself. I’ve asked him questions and attempted to find a way to help him train again. I can’t say anything I did or said got him there. He’s always some mystery to me.
For all that I don’t know, I am confident that letting him make these decisions is the right path in allowing him to develop as an independent individual.
My wife and I hadn’t discussed homeschooling and hadn’t even heard of unschooling nor deschooling when our elder son became eligible for kindergarten. A series of hiccups, annoyances, and coincidences inspired us to look at all the options we could imagine. My mind was set as I thought, “If I can’t teach him a kindergarten material, I’m a worthless dad.” We committed to a (school) year of homeschooling with the goal of honestly reevaluating at the end of it. We didn’t have a clear philosophy nor curriculum and were questioning ourselves within a month. The reevaluations came on a regular basis, never scheduled, but imposed by our failures. We talked through all the mistakes and started to see that we could work through minor adversities to discover major rewards. We didn’t stop at the end of that school year, we had established rhythms of learning and saw no reason to disrupt them. The evaluations continued, as did the failures, but our eyes lifted from the day-to-day struggles and gazed out to see what our goals were. It would be two more summers before my boys knew what “summer vacation” meant.
Our sons had shown an inherently strong capacity for learning, that part was relatively easy. What we wanted to model was thoughtfulness, confidence, kindness, and a capacity to love and help others. Although a useful shortcut for the uninitiated, we dropped the term “homeschool” in our personal discussions as we were not creating our version of school, we were practicing a learning lifestyle. Our faith community became a huge part of our mission. Not only could we bring cans of soup on Sunday, but we could hop on the trucks on Monday morning and go visit the people and places that benefited from the donations. We could spend a quiet Friday cleaning up a local park or setting up tables for the church rummage sale. Opportunity was to be had any day of the week.
We continue to find chances to help and broaden our ability to do so. We’ve learned immeasurable lessons along the way and achieved some good along the path.
Okay, not entirely. My sons have actually begun a class with the goal of putting on a production of William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. Pages Alive Theater brings classic literature to students and guides them to bring the stories to life on stage for local audiences.
Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
I bring the unschool factor, sometimes inappropriately, and recently discovered Wisecrack‘s Thug Notes. NSFW, nor children, but it is hilarious and quickly hits the main points of the plot. Please review this before sharing it, as it represents the most base of my educational techniques.
My sons are excited about stop motion Lego films, we dug into those next.
If I can’t find the play currently on stage (this type of prep work is usually done in anticipation of a live production), I’ll look around for a solid film production. Marlon Brando’s Caesar has been recommended to me and I think we’ll give it a shot.
If you are looking for a way to engage your children in classic literature, try one or more of these methods. They can also be a great way for adults to catch up on the beautiful material that their own schooling had no idea how to present. My sons maximize their recall when they compare different versions of a story, and the different choices made by authors, illustrators, directors, actors, and costume designers will lead to fascinating discussions.
The deepest way to investigate a text is to act it out. This is most true for children who are dying (quite literally in Shakespeare) to play in the adult world. With no stage experience myself, I am eternally grateful for organizations like Pages Alive Theater for providing this type of enrichment.
We were blessed to choose homeschooling and to gradually evolve our philosophy toward unschooling, home education, and a holistic learning lifestyle. We had to deschool ourselves and break away from many of the poor learning habits we had internalized. It was, and still is, scary to turn away from our past paths and the present paths of almost everyone we knew. My wife and I discussed these decisions for hours and were dedicated to providing a better way for our sons. We were also dedicated to taking on the journey together. I was the bullhorn of home education and she was the quiet, steadfast warrior. We were a helluva team.
When Mary died, it was an unexpected disruption that would ripple out, echo back, and continue to vibrate through our lives. She left me with all her warrior strength and a little of her quiet steadfastness. It took me a few months, but I finally took up those gifts and embraced the disruption. Looking as deep into myself as I can stand I have chosen to take on my own demons and become a better father, man, and human.
Life is a series of disruptions, whether you steer into them or not. But life is a force of nature and fighting against change is not advisable. You will lose and it may tear you in half. Instead, put your hands out, close your eyes, and feel the air around you shift in place and temperature. Follow it. Set your sails to the coming wind and hold on. If you are careful enough and lucky enough you could be carried to a grand new land.
Single parenting. It still doesn’t feel right for me. We’re always having more fun, learning more, and being more positive when we’re around our friends. I’ve felt supported most by local parents. Whether they’re single moms, home educators, or those in more traditional educational and familial arrangements, families have formed the backbone of our new life.
There are a couple standouts. Families who have welcomed us into their lives and homes so warmly that there are times when I feel the lonliness of solo parenting slip away. I’m creating a world that doesn’t require a romantic co-parent, but one that values and intertwines with positive families working hard and smart to raise the next generation of independent thinkers and doers.
The post holiday mellow was strong. My sons played with cousins and grandparents while my sister, brother-in-law, and I did some tidying.
I did find time to take Amy McCready’s Parent Personality Assessment. After reading a few chapters of her book and watching my own behavior, I had guessed that I would turn out to be a controlling parent type with superiority tendencies. I have always questioned my habits and the way I go about my activities in an effort to find better ways to live every day. I’ve taken on this role for my children as well, always suggesting better ways to do things and criticizing their mistakes. I thought I was helping them improve, but now I see how obnoxious it is. Self-improvement is just that, it almost never comes from an external source. Certainly not a bossy, always right, external source capable of imposing consequences for all types of mistakes.
I’ve got a long road to hike on this one. Being a home educator, I take on too much responsibility for their growth as human beings. I forget that I’m there to facilitate learning, not teach every tiny lesson over and over.
My little pirates have been plundering the riches Brandywine River Museum of Art for a long time. The Museum introduced us to N.C. Wyeth’s illustrations for Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island and we read the Scribner’s Classics edition to them. It provided one of my first home education breakthroughs. Having introduced them to the characters, settings, and plot of the story in this simplified version, I ventured on exposing them to the original text. We were already adventuring and spending a lot of time in the minivan, so I borrowed the audio book and took to the high seas. Every time I stopped the playback to review and make sure my toddlers were getting it, they cut me off, “Yeah yeah Dad, could you hit play?”
Billy Bones Jr. The pirate spirit.
This set a pattern of exposing them to literature using junior editions of Robin Hood, graphic novels of The Time Machine, and film adaptations of Shakespeare. Each of these abridged retellings has flaws, sometimes significant (“Sorry son, everyone actually dies in the real version.”); however, therein lies the real surprise. My boys become hunters and detectives, tracking down the mistakes, analyzing the changes, and assigning value to the different choices of each author, illustrator, and editor.
The adventure comes alive and the stories step into the real world. Hedgerow Theatre Company brings a fast-paced and fun Peter Pan to the stage and Pirates of Fortune’ s Folly bring knot tying, pirate speak, and maybe a tug of war!
Get yourself to the Museum on Sunday, November 4th, 10:00 am to 1:00 pm for this worthwhile and FREE event!
Schedule:
10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Pirate Crafts
10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Photo Ops and knot-tying with Fortune’s Folly Pirates
11 a.m. and 12 noon Performances of Storytime Peter Pan by Hedgerow Theatre
First Sundays for Families at the Museum presents free, hands-on workshops designed to engage visitors of all ages in creative art activities and performances. No registration necessary.
Guiding a learning lifestyle with young children is chasing a moving target. Interests can grow or wane daily or by the hour. I’ve learned to listen and observe with intention, to know my sons as well as I can and feed their fickle hungers. However, there is one discipline that has consistently grabbed their attention week after week for more than three years.
Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) has become foundational to our home education lifestyle. They attend classes up to six times a week and we have all acquired important knowledge from Elevated Studios co-owner, Stephen Plyler. After watching and attending several BJJ tournaments, my sons are competing in their first at the Tap Cancer Out 2018 Philly BJJ Open.
As many families, we have suffered painful damage from the diverse effects of cancer. This organization targets childhood cancer research in an effort to protect our most vulnerable sons and daughters. My boys are raising funds and training hard.
I don’t think they could be better prepared for this competition. After visiting half a dozen other schools, I am confident that Elevated is the highest quality training I could find for my sons. Stephen is honest, encouraging, fun, focused, determined, and competitive. He’s been a role model of the utmost caliber for all of his students. We’re all really excited and proud to represent his school in this tournament.
Most of these performances are also open to the public with a required RSVP to (and subsequent confirmation from) INFO@DELSHAKES.ORG.
This special tour has given me the opportunity to take my sons inside a senior center and homeless resource center to experience Shakespeare alongside men and women in a much different place in life. It has been one of the many blessings of our home education lifestyle. Different from volunteering or donating, here we sit together as an audience, sharing a couple hours of laughs, gasps, and a few tears. Before and after each performance is the opportunity to mingle with the actors and attendees, to be a part of the community.
This year, a twenty-minute discussion will be facilitated after each performance to discuss the modern implications of the themes of The Merchant of Venice. There’s even a cheat sheet to get caught up on the controversies surrounding this play and prepare for the discussion.
For our part, I’ve prepped my sons with the outline of the story using some interesting resources. The Merchant of Venice graphic novel by Gareth Hinds offers modernized language without being crass and covers much of the plot. The Thug Notes summary of the play is hilarious, but not necessarily safe for children. He gives the skeleton of the plot and wraps up with a discussion of some of the themes. It’s worthwhile if you need a quick catch-up.
The tour begins tonight and I strongly suggest purchasing tickets to one of the Studio Performances at OperaDelaware on November 17th, 8:00 pm, and November 18th, 2:00 pm, to help support this effort.
Wednesday 10/24 at 6pm Ministry of Caring/Sacred Heart Village (Wilmington)
Thursday 10/25 at 6pm University of Delaware hosted by the Jewish Studies Program (Newark)
Friday 10/26 at 7:00pm Christina Cultural Arts Center (Wilmington)
Wednesday 10/31 at 4pm First State Community Action Agency (Georgetown)
Thursday 11/1 at 7:00pm Siegel JCC (Wilmington)
Saturday 11/3 at 7pm CAMP Rehoboth (Rehoboth Beach)
Sunday 11/4 at 2pm Route 9 Library & Innovation Center (New Castle)
Wednesday 11/7 at 6pm Delaware Center for Homeless Veterans (Wilmington)
Thursday 11/8 at 5:30pm Groves Adult High School – Red Clay (Stanton)
Friday 11/9 at 6pm Latin American Community Center (Wilmington)
Sunday 11/11 at 2pm Dover Public Library (Dover)
Tuesday 11/13 at 5:30pm Group performance for Georgetown-area substance abuse treatment facilities (Georgetown Public Library)
Wednesday 11/14 at 6pm Polytech Adult High School (Woodside)
Friday 11/16 at 2pm Delaware Psychiatric Center (Wilmington)
NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC: Baylor Women’s Correctional Institution, Howard R. Young Correctional Institution, Sussex Correctional Institution
Registered our FLL Jr. team, Delaware International Moon Mission (yes, D.I.M.M.), for our very first FIRST Expo with Hornet City Robotics; off to a homeschooler-organized tour of Wharton Esherick Museum in Malvern, Pennsylvania, this morning; then to family camping to make fire, pitch tents, pick up bugs, find danger, fish, play, hike, get dirty, stay up too late, pick up litter, make friends, cook new things, stack wood, and make more fire.
Education happens everywhere, at all times, if you allow it. Don’t permit society to tell you when, where, nor how your children should learn and when, where, nor how they shouldn’t.
