I’ve got the best problems. My favorite ones are all mine, I don’t have to share them with my boys and they involve an adoptive family that has embraced me for as long as I can recall.
Sure I remember some hesitance from Mary’s more protective family members when we first started dating; but I’m protective of those I care for too, so any perceived distance formed into bonds of trust. It wasn’t long before I had a great big pile of “in-laws.”
A horrid term. Beyond the socially negative connotations, I was already leaning libertarian and these folks meant a whole lot more to me than our legal connection. They accepted me as family, I accepted them, and blood ties were born with our boys. The legal binds are cut with Mary’s passing, but that has no relevance to our lives.
It does have relevance to terminology. Language is important to me as I try to navigate and define life. It has always been a central focus when I’m facilitating education or explaining a concept to my children. English language is inadequate in many ways (“home school” topping my list), but it doesn’t appear to have anything better than, “my late wife’s parents” or “Mary’s brother-in-law.” How about, “my late wife’s brother-in-law,” yeah, that just dances off the tongue.
I’ve found some articles on the subject (here and here), but it doesn’t seem to be a hot topic. Nor one with a resolution.
I’ve been too traditional to invent a lexicon to describe our world, but our existence has become exceedingly non-traditional and I may have to revisit that position.
God bless,
Jason