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My sons called me from Grandma’s! Just to chat and check in on me. Their mom used to do that regularly, but I can’t recall them ever taking the initiative. It was a happy little sign as I found the dining room table leaf I cut last year, measured for more makeshift table extension, and consolidated and tucked away the Halloween gear.
Today was more about my 10-Day Thanksgiving Host Challenge than practicing positive parenting, but I did listen to a some podcast episodes and tried a new audio book. I do not recommend the audio version of Charlotte Kasl’s If the Buddha Had Kids. I’m reading another of her books and enjoy her writing style, but the audio on this one is robotic and very difficult to follow.
I listened to Elizabeth Kay Dyer‘s podcast episode about how she became a widow on a homeschool journey; Debbie Reber’s Tilt Parenting podcast episode with Jeremy Schneider, author of Fatherhood in 40-Minute Snapshots; and took breaks from the positive parenting grind with Tom Woods, Office Hours with TK Coleman and Isaac Morehouse, and a great new band called Iggy T and the Crazymakers. And just by sending a shout out to the band, I was able to connect with the lead singer and find an important video to share about grief and pain:
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On Day Five of my 30-Day Positive Parenting challenge I listened to Amy McCready discuss the setbacks that can occur while shifting to a more positive approach to parenting. Unfortunately, the first setback occurred on Day Four. Fatigue, intensity of strengthened emotional connections, first-snow fever, whatever it was, the blow ups came raging back for a few hours and, although each one blew over more quickly, it was an exhausting day.
I had gotten so excited about the strategies I was learning that I didn’t take time to relax and be mindful of why I was on this journey to be a better dad.
I’m still devoted to the challenge, but I’m prepared to pull back on the throttle. I’ve got a couple quiet days without my sons to give us all a little space and catch up on that 10-Day Thanksgiving Challenge!
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In my search for positive parenting resources I couldn’t resist listening to this minimalist approach to managing Lego from Dr. Denaye Barahona. To be sure, we are not minimalists when it comes to Lego. Our biggest projects bring us together and can demand a lot of bricks. However, I felt Dr. Barahona went too far in reducing modern Lego to being a “closed” toy too focused on licensed characters and predetermined builds.
You can hear her podcast episode here:
Our 2017 entry for the Kalmar Nyckel Lego Shipbuilding Contest
Only a few years ago I held a similar nostalgia for when Lego had a much smaller variety of elements and imagination was the key ingredient. I looked at a Lego banana and said, “What else could this be but a banana? How can this foster creativity?” It didn’t take long for me to see that banana put to use as a horn, smile, weapon (as all elements eventually find themselves in the hands of boys), mustache, lever, nose, tongue, or any number of curved objects.
The Friendliest Minotaur
My sons started playing with Lego at our local libraries. Big, unsorted piles and no instructions. They applied their imaginations with ease and learned to break down their builds after a couple hours. These habits served them well as loving family began to shower us with official sets during birthdays, Christmas, and all types of occasions.
I was wary of the licensed sets with built-in stories and characters. Again, it didn’t take long for my sons to twist, expand, and mash-up the characters and stories. My elder son became masterful at using our wide variety of minifigure parts to create his own heroes and villains or copy them from books and movies. He also recreates his favorite scenes while his younger brother builds endless assortments of wacky beasts and insane vehicles.
Sets rarely stay together for long. Sometimes following the instructions is just to check off a line item and the model is immediately disassembled to access new elements.
The 2018 SS Mary Zerbey Memorial Seasteader, built in honor of the wife and mother we lost weeks earlier.My son’s free build copy of the Haida Spirit Boat in the Copeland Maritime Center’s Watercraft of the World gallery.
Sorting starts at the model level. The larger the set, the more need there is to categorize the elements and place them roughly into piles. Sorting of larger collections does take parental guidance, but it is worth it when they can access the full breadth of the inventory to fuel their imaginations.
Our UnikittiesA collaborative train project by almost a dozen homeschoolers.
Dr. Barahona claims Lego has become a “closed” toy, to be built and displayed. I assert that this only occurs without a little creative encouragement.
However, I would concede that this is not a pursuit for the minimalist.
The question at 6:00 am: What to build?
God bless, Jason
p.s. – For his “Mind Body Soul Time” today my elder once again chose Lego building.
That was the response after my sons thoroughly enjoyed the one-on-one time I dedicated to each of them during the day, as suggested by Amy McCready. One chose 15 minutes of tinkering with old electronics in the morning and the other chose Lego building.
In the evening, my elder requested I read aloud some of his latest book club book, In the Footsteps of Crazy Horse, and my younger had me help him with a “poop” heavy ad lib story.
I could see that not only did each appreciate the focused interaction, but also respected when it was the other’s turn.
We’re working on alternative names for our particular sessions as “Mind Body Spirit Time” is “too hippy” for them. So far, I’ve had to veto “Poopy Time,” but I think we’re heading in the right direction.
As resources pour in from so many wonderful people, my sons and I came up with our own rule: Instant Hugs. As soon as tension rises, a voice raises, or someone feels he’s been mistreated, BOOM, hug. No cure-all, but has definitely cut down on several escalations already.
