It’s a little trickier than this (because everything is a little trickier).
I agree wholeheartedly with the second sentence, but it goes much deeper than politics and religion. I’ve encouraged difficult conversations and questions with my sons from the day they could form sentences (I don’t answer “Why?” it has to be in a sentence). When life actually becomes difficult, it is so much easier to think through obstacles when you have an uninhibited vocabulary of problem-solving. Every idea must be allowed on the table until it’s argued off.
On the flip side, I walk away from conversations with adults in front of my sons on an almost daily basis. They get confused, “But Dad, you know that’s not true,” or “Why didn’t you question that?” They’re used to challenging me and being challenged in a (mostly) positive way, but many people aren’t. It took me a long time not to take on every fight, I thought it was a matter of finding the right words or having a broad enough smile, to not look at it as a fight.
Here’s the problem with not fighting, it only takes one person if the other is willing to stand there and take a punch. That’s why I walk away. I can see the mental fists forming, the tightening body language, the closing mind. I don’t think you can teach this, so I try to model and explain.
Then they watch me go out on a soccer field and run dudes over, so who knows!
God bless,
Jason
Image care of Celtic Christian Tradition via Lisa Corrado.
