After a year of whirlwind romances and one-and-done first dates, my son put me in my place when talking with a friend who was offering dating advice, “You should listen to my dad, he’s good at getting girls…well…he’s good at kissing girls, but not keeping them.”
I wondered if my quest to find ever more love in myself, others, and all of existence had become a parody or obsession. I knew some of the details were funny, but was I acting out a joke? Trying to fill a hole? Self-medicate with love?
The more I asked and the more I prayed on these questions, the more often Mary visited me. Each time she confirmed my path and calmed my fears. Each time the answer came back, “Keep loving yourself and forgiving yourself.”
I was challenged with facing the fallout from public and private romances. It wan’t until I forgave myself for my mistakes that I could I see them clearly. I had to love myself truthfully and accept that every journey requires getting lost once in a while.
I remembered there was a girl who stayed by my side for 13 years. I remembered how methodical we were, even as we set out on an increasingly unlikely life together. I’m forgiving myself for the mistakes I made in that romance as well, and I’m seeing them clearly enough to learn from them.
God bless and thank you for reading,
Jason