Fuck, I curse too much for this gig.
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I’ve never acted, directed, written, built a set, played music, or been any part of a stage production. I’m sitting in on auditions this week and don’t know the material. The Pilgrim’s Progress is the most famous Christian novel in history and I hardly know the outline. I feel that pressure too, of not being “enough” of a Christian, whatever that means. And getting children to focus on a task is not an unschooling dad’s strongest play. Even though I’ve been assured that my role will be limited and it all seems manageable, I’m a bit terrified.
That’s why I volunteered. I’ve been a fan of theater since my best friend’s family took us to see Phantom of the Opera in Philly as high school freshmen. He got sent to boarding school and I started hanging with the drama kids. I became a casual theatergoer, from Evil Dead: The Musical to Patrick Stewart as Macbeth in London to many more Shakespeare productions with my sons.
Now I’m father to a couple of drama kids. Their bravery inspires me daily. They love an audience and they’re not afraid of failure. I’m not helping this production for their sake, but they have excited me to take on something new and scary.
FFT: Fucking First Time. New places, new people, new responsibilities…these are the things that frighten and exhilarate me.