Everything about widowhood is unconventional. Dating might be the most disorienting part.
We don’t get rules, there isn’t an expected course. There are no charts to guide us. If we’re lucky, we find someone else who has gone (or is concurrently going) through a similar hell.
I find it hard to imagine that one who has not experienced the guilt, pain, joy, bliss, confusion, and occasional crystal clear clarity of romantically connecting after loss could help me in the way my widowed friends have.
I’m trying to find a way to put it all down here. I’ve had more than two years of surprising romantic adventures. I’ve learned a lot and I hope my stories can help those navigating their own unexpectedly single lives.
This is a baby step as I find comfort with my own journey. There are reasons the widowed only talk with each other about these things. I want to break that secrecy to release the subject from taboo. I want to educate those who may want a romantic connection with a widow or widower. I want to be a safe place for the widowed to discuss difficult feelings. I want to share my lessons, mistakes, and moments of growth. I want people to understand how much conflict is within the happiest looking widow or widower. I want people to know that it is never easy for us, that we never “move on,” and that our happiness always feels like it cost too much.