I’m struggling with a skin condition that appears to be the symptom of gut imbalance. It sucks. I can’t train jiu-jitsu and on the bad days my hands are in constant pain while the skin will break at the slightest impact.
I’m in a series of digestive cleanses while I meditate on a lingering sense of resentment that may be manifesting in dry, inflammed skin.
The last week’s cleanse came with an advertised side effect of lethargy. I self reflect as I struggle to get out of bed in the morning and it has been kicking my ass.
The hands and skin are better today. I’m grateful for the outward healing and the time I was forced away from being “productive.” I’m behind on even more household duties than usual, delayed on prep for my stage and book study assignments, and missing Wim Hof Method breathing sessions and yoga classes. These seasons of life are hardest for me to embrace. This one hasn’t come with more than the affectations of depression though. I’m focused on what is most important. Without maximizing my health and self love, I will let down myself, those who count on me, and God.
I thank God for soccer. I haven’t missed an opportunity to play and have more invitations than I could dream of. My lethargy usually wears off by noon and I haven’t skipped a beat on the field. Tonight’s game was a tough 6-6 tie, but I got a couple goals and walked away feeling an opening space for healing.
There was a loosening of tension after the game. I’m getting up early tomorrow, doing my breathing, and hitting a yoga class before rocking the day with my sons.
I’m calling myself out and letting go of the week’s frustrations. What can you let go of? What injustice can you release? What disappointment in yourself can you forgive?
What is done is done. We cannot change what happened, but we can change our frame of reference and move forward without that weight.