Why So Negative?

Why does my brain spend so much time and energy thinking about those who don’t appear to value my presence?

Why don’t I think about the strangers who reach out for unschool advice online and show up in-person for more connection? Or the widows who ask for lunch dates to share their stories? Or the parents who are always asking to know more about me?

Am I afraid of being ousted from the tribe? Do my fears of being alone trap me with thoughts of rejection?

I have innumerable people in my life who desire time with me, why do I seek acceptance from more? Why do I seek acceptance at all? The more authentic and unconcerned with being liked I become, the more people in my life show up passionately.

My girlfriend had to remind me that I am not “difficult to love.” An Instagram meme had to remind me that “I am not too much, I am enough.”

My life demonstrates it. I am well loved and supported by wonderful people in all my little communities.

As I discover more love in my own heart for God, myself, and others, the more love is manifested in those around me.

Tonight I will go to sleep with gratitude in my heart for the love that surrounds me.