Carl Jung wrote, “No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”
It’s the blessing of the suffering that is irrevocably wound up with existence. Within hours of feeling the hopelessness of a dying wife, I accepted our fate and was gifted with an experience of pure love. In those hours my life stretched between Heaven and Hell.
The monster Fear and the hero Love.
My life is filled with Love and Joy. Yet, it’s hard to see beyond the Fear and Anxiety in the world.
It was like this when I was ten years old. I was happy and full of imagination, but that imagination carried me into an empathic place that exposed me to the darkness of the world. I couldn’t handle it then, I shut myself off for protection.
I’m learning to handle it now. Widowhood cut my life in half, half living and half dead. That chasm eventually splintered all the pieces of my mind. In rebuilding, I began to integrate the light and dark fragments. Joy and Guilt rested side-by-side. Love and Pain got cozy. Excitement and Anxiety coupled.
It’s ongoing. The more Joy and Love enter my life, the more monsters I can see.
It’s all so messy and frought with human folly, but I’m accessing those dark parts of me to be a light to others. Paradox is in all of us.
Header quote from this post:
http://delawaredad.com/2019/12/28/duality-and-divinity/