“‘I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.”
-Luke 15:19-20
That yellow belt in white hasn’t trained in more than a year. It has disappointed me for all the usual dad reasons. Jiu-jitsu and Elevated Studios have been good to us for a long time. Isaac has devoted years to his training and he’s amazingly capable.
It has to be up to him. I don’t force him onto the mat and I try hard to shift my disappointment into grace.
Five minutes before his older brother and I left for class, he announced that he was training today. I tried not to be too excited, he’s a lovely and compassionate child, but he’s not doing this for me. I don’t know why he’s doing it. That’s the challenge fathers have that God does not: He knows why we falter and quit and then He extends grace to welcome us back.
I pray for no, “I knew you would love it again,” or “Wasn’t that great to train again?” out of my mouth. I pray to continue to hold space for Isaac to choose whether or not he trains. I pray to share the grace extended to me by God.
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