“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
-Matthew 5:3
Baptism is meant to be done once with an open and honest heart. It is the enacting of one’s death to worldly attachments and rebirth into Christ’s arms. There is no need or use to repeating the gesture. However, in a psychological sense, the process of killing off old, useless, incorrect, and evil parts of ourselves to replace them with upgraded elements is ongoing.
A spiritual life goes through a series of these Phoenix Cycles. After Baptism, one feels full of the Holy Spirit and spiritually rich. That richness is the flaming Phoenix at its apex. Whether the flames crash into darkness or the mental fuel to sustain them merely wanes, we will be left in ashes. In the ashes we are spiritually poor and aware of the broken nature of our material existence. This is when we humbly turn to God and receive what we need to carry forth.
We have some control over the speed and frequency of the cycle. I prefer to spend my time in the ashes. I learn the most there and widowhood has forced me to be more comfortable in the dark. I’m wary of being the shining beacon of the Phoenix at apex as I dread the inevitable decent. This manifests in a rapid succession of Phoenix Cycles that keep me in a flow of growth.
The lower we go, and the longer we spend there, the greater we will be rewarded.
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