“On a mission from God.”
That’s some hubris.
The hubris bit me in the ass today. Or the mission got the best of me.
New home educating friends joined us at our park day and some introductory chatter led to, “What does your wife do?”
The air went out of me. My son was in my lap, goofing and lounging.
I recovered enough to tell our story. I try to tell it a little differently each time. A part of me wishes it was a lot more different. But it can’t be. We’ve gone too far past that tragedy to even comprehend life without it.
So there I am. Just another widower trying not to wreck everyone’s beautiful fall day with his horror and sadness.
That’s when the sadness feels baked in and I expect each happy moment to fade. I know the sadness will always be there waiting for me.
I held all that in until I was alone tonight to write. I got my tears out. The sadness fades even now and I know the happiness waits for me.