And a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years.
John 5:5 KJV
I had thirty and eight years when I found Jesus in my heart. Many of those years had been spent in discussions, debates, books, lectures, and entertainment designed to uncover the mysteries and meanings of life.
It wasn’t any of that study that ultimately brought me to believing in Jesus Christ as the son of God on Earth. It was reading the words Jesus spoke in his short ministry.
I began my healing in that year. Before I had thirty and nine years, I would lose my wife. If Jesus had not shown up when he did, I don’t know how I would have survived the pain and brokeness of widowhood.
I still lean into the discussions and lectures (debates, not so much). I have an active, curious mind and I want to feed it nourishing food. However, I’m happiest and most comforted when faith is easy and heartfelt.
We have a skin infection running through the house. One son likely got it in a jiu-jitsu tournament and now my other son and I are suffering from it. I was feeling low and ugly this morning. Physical affection is my love language and I felt untouchable. To protect those I love I would have to be lonely. I thought a simple thing, “Only Jesus would hold me like this.”
The woe-is-me became a solace. No matter how much the world might reject me, I have absolute faith that Jesus will love me. I’m spiritually vulnerable and convinced that is how this infection was able to take hold.
I am healing. God is the source of healing and we are called to meet Him in that healing place.