The healing journey of a widowed, unschooling badass in Delaware.
I made this mix CD for my wife the same year our first son was born. Our younger son found it and played it in his “new” boom box today.
Mary wore the quartz on a necklace and I’ve had this shard in my pocket for a couple days.
Her little things are all around us. The stories and feelings they carry visit us often.
We’ve been blessed by a wave of happy memories. In our fifth year of missing her, the recollections get sweeter. She is always with us.
The start of the new school year brings the inevitable clash of homechool life vs. school life.
The homeschool community is now twice the size it was when I posted this on social media.
In its doubled population, homeschooling has also doubled its diversity. Many families use both homeschooling and government schooling.
It’s not an insult to schoolers to celebrate the advantages of homeschooling. I went to 13 years of public school and my father was consistent in his criticism of it. I was sent there with eyes wide open and learned enough to break out of the system for my own family’s sake.
Recently I read a few comments about what a privilege it is to be able to homeschool. I agree. It is the greatest privilege and honor to be able to take on this difficult task. I imagine the schooled family also thinks it is a privilege to have two incomes, to see the services their taxes go toward, and to not be repeatedly asked to explain their educational choices.
We each have infinite privilege, the only limit is in our imagination. Be confident in your choices and be happy for those who are confident in theirs.
Beastie Boys, Rage Against the Machine, Citizen Cope, The Crow soundtrack, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Carolina Chocolate Drops have been blasting from my sons’ room.
We’ve been rearranging things and my 13-year-old discovered his mom’s CD stash a few days ago. Today I let him at the music I’ve been collecting for 30 years.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
-Colossians 3:12
I am not always at the top of my game. Sometimes I don’t want to put on the uniform or gi because I feel weak or incapable.
The same applies to how I show myself to the world. I’m not an especially knowledgeable Christian and I have wild questions and ideas. For all my faults and mistakes, I make an effort to put on the clothes of a believer and live as God calls me .
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Keep yourselves in the love of God; wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. And convince some, who doubt; save some, by snatching them out of the fire; on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.
-Jude 1:21-23 RSV
I am befuddled. The difference between the translations of Jude 1:22 are dramatic.
But this I do know, living in God’s love is the only way to be a source of harmony in the world.
I was short with my sons today. I was not fully living in God’s love.
Yet, we were productive and achieved much and now we are enjoying some puzzle time before bed.
Although I strive to live more compassionately, there is often a chance to repair mistakes.
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.’
-Matthew 25:23 RSV
I’m struggling with processing the last couple devotionals. Yesterday’s is still in draft form because I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
A week ago I restarted a morning practice of breathing, meditation, prayer, and quiet. I’m communicating directly with God as many of the mediation avenues we use are not giving me clarity.
I understand this to be a call to responsibility. In this season of my faith, I am taking responsibility for my relationship with God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
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We found a beautiful, and potentially deadly, mushroom on our walk today. It may be a type of amanita.
I love watching Kristen experience nature. Mushrooms, insects, and spiders excite childlike responses and I wander off tracking woodpecker sounds while she records these tiny wonders.
Even the simplest trail offers unending discoveries. Slow down and take your time.
I get kicked out of the best places. Sometimes I insist upon it.
At a party in college, a friend got into a political argument with the hostess. It got hot and she demanded he read Noam Chomsky. None of us really knew shit, so he retorted with some garbage about New World Order kooks and, well, things got hotter.
She exiled him from her apartment, but I suppose I couldn’t be left out of the fun, so I got up and charged out in “solidarity.”
Although drinking and ego were the driving forces that night, I maintain a mindset that I don’t want to occupy spaces where my friends are unwelcome.
In another moment of synchronicity, I spotted this interview on one of my favorite podcasts while that story was on my mind.
Chomsky is an interesting and intelligent character. Lex Fridman is an excellent interviewer amd gives him plenty of room to speak during this episode.
Lex Fridman #316 – Noam Chomsky: Putin, Ukraine, China, and Nuclear War
Salmon begot Boaz, and Boaz begot Obed; Obed begot Jesse, and Jesse begot David.
-Ruth 4:21-22
God works through the generations and we work today. It seems impossible. Both the past and future are unknowable and we can barely perceive our immediate reality.
Trust is the main action of faith. I trust that God has a plan. When I am living most presently is when I feel in line with that plan. Fighting against it or being distracted from the flow of the plan causes detachment and suffering.
Intention on the present needs constant renewal. Distractions are many and ego has devilish manner.
I spent time with friends in the woods today. We were present for each other as we each experience transitions in life.
Maybe it’s only been a week or two, but I’ve missed this connection with other parents. Renewal can come from many places. I am grateful to God for these present friends and their gifts of attention.
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It sucks. Energetic white belts wore me down and a black belt had me like a tiger with a ball of yarn tonight.
I can’t wait to do it again.