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Creating The Creator?

The following is my response to an NPR podcast episode that was recommended to me recently.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hidden-brain/id1028908750?i=1000415979970

There’s a lot covered in this episode (after a diet of audiobooks, 2-hour Jordan Peterson lectures, and 3-hour Joe Rogan podcasts, I’m impatient with the old constraints), but the final points struck me pretty hard.

One of the conclusions that is reached is that religion was created for social purposes and that modern institutions are capable of creating models of stability and trust that can now supplant the function of religion. I’m a totally biased libertarian, but find that concept a little bit laughable considering history since Nietzsche declared God to be dead. He was right in a societal manner, but also put forth that Man had blood on his hands and needed to find a way to wash himself clean, to create a structure of meaning without an extra-human source.

Man tried that in the 20th century and it was a bloody mess. We’ve worshiped communism, socialism, capitalism, democracy, and nationalism, none of which is held to a standard that is higher than the humans who administer them. Yes, organized religion suffers the same problem, but there is no church that has killed the tiniest fraction of people as Soviet Russia, Mao’s China, the Khmer Rouge, the United States of America, and the largest governments since Nietzsche’s cautionary declaration.

The same governments imprison more people than any religion is currently capable of too.

I did enjoy the podcast and don’t have nearly the expertise to refute the basic premise, but it doesn’t ring true to me. If I’m correct in restating, the claim is that religion was created to provide social needs. (Strangely, this is refuted during the episode as the claim is that non-physical beliefs exist in earlier cultures without the same problems to solve, and that they were merely changed, not created. Maybe I missed a connection there.)

From Joesph Campbell, Carl Jung, and my personal experience with the creative process, I’ve gleaned that there is knowledge to be received, that it exists a priori conscious thought. It seems to me that religion comes after the spiritual realm, not before.

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason

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Waking Up

I love myself.

I approve of myself.

All is right in my world.

I am change.

I am safe.

I am happy.

I am healthy.

I live with ease.

I am filled with lovingkindness.

I start most of my days with thoughts of gratitude. I think of people first, often the ones I find most challenging to find peace with, then I turn to the things and circumstances in my life that make it amazing. I thank God for the obstacles and the tools He has given me to overcome them.

Then I spend time stretching and saying the above affirmations out loud. I concentrate on breath and the feelings in my body as I hold each stretch through the affirmations. I listen to myself, both my mind and my voice, as I speak each sentence. I let them guide my intentions for the day, show me what I need.

Meditation can be difficult for me. When I began regular practice months ago, I used music and a 13-minute timer to help clear my mind of the usual morning clutter. I let go of the music in the spring to let birdsong in the windows and eventually dropped the timer as my affirmations developed and I added stretches and muscle work.

I don’t get to it everyday and have yet to find a routine for our road trips, but I practice more than 20 minutes most days. I’ve also added occasional yoga classes as I’ve observed improvement in my physical state and desire to dedicate more time towards caring for and improving my body.

I want to thank Hunter Clarke-Fields for starting me on my affirmations. I found her at the beginning of my positive parenting quest and she got me speaking out loud about what I wanted for myself and my children. After reading Louise Hay, I modified the affirmations to fit my personal journey. I also want to thank the folks at Yoga U, the intensity of the classes has been invigorating and refreshes my mind, body, and spirit each time.

God bless and thank you for reading,

Jason

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A Pile of White Bricks

Our life never seems simpler than when we stop at a mound of Lego and start building. My sons and I took that opportunity at the FIRST Championship in Detroit as a break from the intense robotics competitions and innovative artificial intelligence exhibits.

My younger built a beautiful fountain and we both struggled to capture how nicely the light shone through it.

My older got to build with Stray Dog and a teenager who wanted advice on his hovering hot rod.

I chatted with other builders and helped them find pieces as I waited for inspiration. There were already lots of spaceships, buildings, team numbers, and robots, so I tried my hand at a tree.

I’ve only seen these leaf elements in green before and wondered how organic they could look in white. Although fragile, I was pleased to add my creation to the crowded display table.

I also added some of those elements to a satellite.


Have a God blessed day,

Jason

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In A Formal Garden

We visited the Marian Coffin-designed Gibraltar Gardens in Wilmington, Delaware, yesterday to enjoy a warm February day and have a relaxing stroll.

What happened was a game of “Non-Ball,” a concoction of wrestling, football, and war games that required nothing but a couple of brothers pounding each other into the neatly manicured lawn. They also climbed the stone wall at the end of the garden and encouraged passing traffic to wave and honk.

I wonder how many rush hour commuters were shocked to see boys on top of a wall over a sidewalk, seemingly unsupervised.

This morning I happened upon an article about the damage done to boys by insisting they not act like boys. Even as a physically active, nature-loving, hero’s-journey-following male I can be overwhelmed by their energy. It is hard to remember that they need to explore their worlds on their terms. Those worlds include the physical and emotional, solo and relational, mental and spritual.

God bless,

Jason

https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/article/boys-are-growing-frustrated-living-feminized-society-and-thats-showing-their-friendships?fbclid=IwAR1BTdaViTj6O890a1u8aCNo2vqMYoVtNHAzsNlcs1_ZpWUiawNsTQwD6hY

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Appel Farms Arts and Music Festival, 2012.

Isaac was just getting used to walking. We saw Carolina Chocolate Drops for the first time, Mason Porter from West Chester, and Sara Watkins.
I’m going to see Sara Watkins again with I’m With Her.
I’m reminded of how deep and rich our life was and how deep and rich life can be each day. These happy memories bolster my resolve to live a big, fun, happy life of adventure.

God bless,

Jason

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Triggered by Legoland

Who would have guessed that reminiscing about a 2017 trip to Legoland would trigger my revelation that I’m an alcoholic.

As I was telling a dear friend about an upcoming visit I commented on the taco truck that is on the roof of the nearby Wegman’s. Then I went into the beer selection and exactly which beer I had. I didn’t mention it was the only time Mary was ever able to join us there. I didn’t mention this picture, one of my all time favorites. I didn’t talk about the hours of fun we all had that day. Or how amused Mary was with the little rock band setup. We met friends that day, built, played, and squeezed every ounce of fun out of that place.

Mary was home sick the next time we visited. She’d be gone days later. It’s tough to pull into that parking lot. At least one of my sons feels guilt about us not being home that day. I do too.

All of that, and more, was available to me to talk about, but I chose to focus on the one beer I had.

My friend is the wisest and most perceptive 30-something I know. Without knowing any of the other stories I could tell, she called me out and got me to face why my brain had chosen that as my Legoland memory. It’s a painful weakness to own up to. I’m still reeling from it.

God bless,
Jason

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Love and Trust and Family and Friends

In the last few days I’ve connected with friends and family and built on existing love and trust. I’ve found new friends in which to trust and build relationships. I’ve explored my trust in God and found that he is working in my life in remarkable, unexpected ways. In trusting Him I have been more able to let events unfold before me and let my place in them occur without pushing or prodding with my own desires. I’ve started to let go of my drive to control and instead listen and find the path meant for me. God has been very good to me. I pray that I can keep the wisdom to continue listening.

God bless,
Jason

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Letting Go of Fear

I never expected to replace Mary. I never wanted to. I never could. I feared all the parts of my brain that pointed to my life with her. I wanted to turn away from all of it and make a brand new life. For a while I forgot how good it had been, how well we worked together, and how much I enjoyed doing the things a husband should do.

I’m letting go of that fear and welcoming back into my psyche the things I loved about Mary and our relationship. I’m no longer scared of pretty girls with blue eyes or paying attention to how they like their tea. I can care for someone’s needs in a similar manner as I did for Mary. I can carry with me the best of what I learned as a husband to a range of human relationships.

With a little more love and a little less fear,
Jason

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Day Ten of My 10- and 30-Day Challenges: Thanksgiving

I gave myself ten days to be prepared to host my family for Thanksgiving. In the 24 hours before dinner, my sister and her husband were there with their sons to help with setup and entertain my boys. They were a Godsend and made the pre-celebration celebratory in its own right. As all of my guests showed up within a five-minute window, I went through my mental checklist and felt good about the work we had accomplished.

My sons are troupers when the stakes are high and today was no different. Playing with cousins and neighbors during the day and helping organize, and even create, desserts. We sat down after appetizers and my seven-year-old lead a simple grace. He was uncharacteristically nervous at the biggest table we had ever hosted. Before “digging in,” I was able to say a few words of thanks for having my family in my home, for having my sister’s family to help, and for all of the ways that this gathering would not have been possible without Mary. We still receive and re-receive gifts from her remarkable life, from a treasure of recipes tried and untried to a thousand lessons on how to host a party.

Unfortunately, I was not able to hold onto the thankfulness through the day. As more and more things fell into place and went smoothly, future tasks crept into my mind and I slipped away from being present in the moment. I resisted sneaking off to write the soccer emails that needed to go out; but my mind was there, wondering if I had already waited too long. I put the device away, but wondered who had responded to my morning messages. My thoughts were on the weekend, next week, my soccer future, my future relationships, and a hundred other unknowable things.

Typing this out in an exhausted state of mind helps bring me back. The sound of the tapping on the tablet is here and now. Another night brings another chance to close my eyes, sleep, and reset. Tomorrow can wait until tomorrow.

God bless,

Jason