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Z3 Adventures: The Near Disaster(s) at Raven Rock

That is the look of a boy who did not look before he leapt.

Tentatively, “Uh…Dad?” My heart was in the process of slowing as I had turned away from my mountain goat of a son jumping over crevices as if hundreds of feet of rocky death were not waiting below. Now that heart stopped. If he was being cautious I imagined he was now hanging from an outcropping, not sure how to recover. Fortunately, he was just trying to get back the way he came and his change in perspective showed him just how high we were.

I counted it as a free-range-parenting win (child alive, unscathed!, learning his limits) and helped him back across to our snacky lunch and our other impending disaster.

See the boot on my older’s right foot? Yeah, no lace. See the sole between the raisins and graham crackers? Yeah, not on the boot.

We weren’t halfway through a 2.5-mile hike when the sole began to separate from the boot. Turn back to possibly never see Coopers Rock State Forest‘s Raven Rock? Carry him when the boot inevitably failed? Or go pirate MacGyver and carry on?

Not the first attempt, one of my laces and a backpack drawstring.

They don’t come tougher or more determined than my sons. As each rig failed he stopped and followed my directions as I asked him to sit, stand, hold onto me, let go, etc., etc… 

Fourth or fifth configuration.

They both inspired me as they took the slow pace in stride and we discovered a lot along the way.


Red eft stage (terrestrial) of the Red-spotted Newt. Identification care of Delaware Nature Society’s Jim White.
A snake, self-identified (by me, not the snake).
Mountain magnolias often brightened our path.
Lots of sole support, looking like we have a winner.

We’re moving along, rain is coming down, and he tests each rig by dancing, walking backwards, and spinning at every opportunity.

And then…

Yep, the other sole gets loose and I trade another lace. I figure I’ll be carrying him pretty soon as our extended time on the trail put us closer to a forecasted storm. Nope, we all trudged on and finished an estimated 90-minute hike in just under four hours. It was remarkable and we all knew it. The patience and determination they showed on that trail gave them a confidence that no pep talk could.

“Dad, did we leave North America?”

It was a hearty lunch of baked beans, mac and cheese, and hot dogs for all of us. But the day was not done, there were hours of sunlight left and a world to explore. What to do next?

That’s right, an hour of Brazilian jiu-jitsu at Team Junqueira Cheat Lake, West Virginia, with some great competitors to wind down.

Super Fight

It’s insane. There’s no other word. We hit a museum, arboretum, and new campground the next day. I look forward to telling all the stories.

God bless,
Jason

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Girl in the Thunderbolt Suit

I walked into Jupiter Records looking for Black Sabbath’s debut record for my vinyl-enthusiast niece’s birthday gift. Mary had vetoed the choice in the previous year. I get to call all the shots now, I thought.

It wasn’t meant to be. No Sabbath was to be found. But someone had unloaded a small collection of T.Rex albums into the New Arrivals bin.

Instead of defying my late wife I was taken back 11 years (almost to the day) to when we walked into the Virgin Megastore at Piccadilly Circus, London. We were in the unabashed, full-fledged touron mode of our honeymoon and had never been in a record shop with escalators. I was trying to be cool and found a Blind Lemon Jefferson album I thought was rare. I tracked down Mary to show off my find and she was holding a T.Rex double CD: Children of the Revolution. “Don’t we have a T.Rex album?” I said, “One’s probably enough.” My veto was vetoed. It was weeks before we were home and I actually gave it a listen. I wasn’t sold at first, but found myself moving every time one of the tunes played.

Now it brings me all of the joy of dancing with Mary. Sexy, high-energy, hippy-wiggle rock with just a hint of headbanging. And fun, damn good fun. She never had a thunderbolt suit; she didn’t need one, she was a thunderbolt.

God bless,
Jason

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Never Just Another Walk

When I’m quiet and outside is when I most often feel the Holy Spirit. That’s when I can hear the Lord and let Him guide me. A breeze can pass right through me and carry off what isn’t needed. The myriad of concerns and voices tugging at my attention are quieted, leaving a moment of peace void of thought. Somehow, the Lord only lets in good after that moment. Whether I’m alone or with friends, strangers, or family, hope and love fill me up and I can more clearly see the world around me.

These moments can’t be forced or scheduled, sometimes they’re partial, sometimes I ruin them. They most often come when invited. I’m best at inviting among the trees and the tall grasses.

Coverdale Farm Preserve

Delaware holds many special places for me and my memories. In the autumn I see God in all the colors. On a recent hike at Coverdale Farm Preserve, I got to remember Mary and our special adventures there, including fishing at the pond and a trick-or-treat hike in 2013.

Classic costumes, unique attitudes.

This weekend I also had the opportunity to walk the labyrinth at Delaware Art Museum. A Día de los Muertos event was cancelled due to poor weather, but I wanted to take the time to travel into and out of my favorite labyrinth before sundown.

I started the walk alone and relished the literal quiet before the storm. I was at peace immediately and lost myself in the rustling leaves obscuring much of the path. Two boys, a little older than my own, came running in with their mom. My peace swirled with their energy and a broad smile carried me to the the center. I’m discovering that being a dad and being alone aren’t at odds. I can have and enjoy both.

I came out of the labyrinth stronger, calmer, and more ready for what is next.

God bless,
Jason

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Pirate Adventure Day!

My little pirates have been plundering the riches Brandywine River Museum of Art for a long time. The Museum introduced us to N.C. Wyeth’s illustrations for Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island and we read the Scribner’s Classics edition to them. It provided one of my first home education breakthroughs. Having introduced them to the characters, settings, and plot of the story in this simplified version, I ventured on exposing them to the original text. We were already adventuring and spending a lot of time in the minivan, so I borrowed the audio book and took to the high seas. Every time I stopped the playback to review and make sure my toddlers were getting it, they cut me off, “Yeah yeah Dad, could you hit play?”

Billy Bones Jr.
The pirate spirit.

This set a pattern of exposing them to literature using junior editions of Robin Hood, graphic novels of The Time Machine, and film adaptations of Shakespeare. Each of these abridged retellings has flaws, sometimes significant (“Sorry son, everyone actually dies in the real version.”); however, therein lies the real surprise. My boys become hunters and detectives, tracking down the mistakes, analyzing the changes, and assigning value to the different choices of each author, illustrator, and editor.

And that began before the very first Pirate Adventure Day!

Discovering traditional discipline techniques.

The adventure comes alive and the stories step into the real world. Hedgerow Theatre Company brings a fast-paced and fun Peter Pan to the stage and Pirates of Fortune’ s Folly bring knot tying, pirate speak, and maybe a tug of war!

Get yourself to the Museum on Sunday, November 4th, 10:00 am to 1:00 pm for this worthwhile and FREE event!

Schedule:

10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Pirate Crafts

10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Photo Ops and knot-tying with Fortune’s Folly Pirates

11 a.m. and 12 noon
Performances of Storytime Peter Pan by Hedgerow Theatre 

First Sundays for Families at the Museum presents free, hands-on workshops designed to engage visitors of all ages in creative art activities and performances. No registration necessary.

God bless,
Jason

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Tap Cancer Out 2018 Philly BJJ Open

Guiding a learning lifestyle with young children is chasing a moving target. Interests can grow or wane daily or by the hour. I’ve learned to listen and observe with intention, to know my sons as well as I can and feed their fickle hungers. However, there is one discipline that has consistently grabbed their attention week after week for more than three years.

Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) has become foundational to our home education lifestyle. They attend classes up to six times a week and we have all acquired important knowledge from Elevated Studios co-owner, Stephen Plyler. After watching and attending several BJJ tournaments, my sons are competing in their first at the Tap Cancer Out 2018 Philly BJJ Open.

As many families, we have suffered painful damage from the diverse effects of cancer. This organization targets childhood cancer research in an effort to protect our most vulnerable sons and daughters. My boys are raising funds and training hard.

I don’t think they could be better prepared for this competition. After visiting half a dozen other schools, I am confident that Elevated is the highest quality training I could find for my sons. Stephen is honest, encouraging, fun, focused, determined, and competitive. He’s been a role model of the utmost caliber for all of his students. We’re all really excited and proud to represent his school in this tournament.

God bless,
Jason

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Delaware Shakespeare’s Community Tour: The Merchant of Venice

Entering its third year, the Delaware Shakespeare Community Tour brings the Bard to under-served populations in and around Delaware.

Most of these performances are also open to the public with a required RSVP to (and subsequent confirmation from) INFO@DELSHAKES.ORG.

This special tour has given me the opportunity to take my sons inside a senior center and homeless resource center to experience Shakespeare alongside men and women in a much different place in life. It has been one of the many blessings of our home education lifestyle. Different from volunteering or donating, here we sit together as an audience, sharing a couple hours of laughs, gasps, and a few tears. Before and after each performance is the opportunity to mingle with the actors and attendees, to be a part of the community.

This year, a twenty-minute discussion will be facilitated after each performance to discuss the modern implications of the themes of The Merchant of Venice. There’s even a cheat sheet to get caught up on the controversies surrounding this play and prepare for the discussion.

For our part, I’ve prepped my sons with the outline of the story using some interesting resources. The Merchant of Venice graphic novel by Gareth Hinds offers modernized language without being crass and covers much of the plot. The Thug Notes summary of the play is hilarious, but not necessarily safe for children. He gives the skeleton of the plot and wraps up with a discussion of some of the themes. It’s worthwhile if you need a quick catch-up.

The tour begins tonight and I strongly suggest purchasing tickets to one of the Studio Performances at OperaDelaware on November 17th, 8:00 pm, and November 18th, 2:00 pm, to help support this effort.

Wednesday 10/24 at 6pm
Ministry of Caring/Sacred Heart Village (Wilmington)

Thursday 10/25 at 6pm
University of Delaware hosted by the Jewish Studies Program (Newark)

Friday 10/26 at 7:00pm
Christina Cultural Arts Center (Wilmington)

Wednesday 10/31 at 4pm
First State Community Action Agency (Georgetown)

Thursday 11/1 at 7:00pm
Siegel JCC (Wilmington)

Saturday 11/3 at 7pm
CAMP Rehoboth (Rehoboth Beach)

Sunday 11/4 at 2pm
Route 9 Library & Innovation Center (New Castle)

Wednesday 11/7 at 6pm
Delaware Center for Homeless Veterans (Wilmington)

Thursday 11/8 at 5:30pm
Groves Adult High School – Red Clay (Stanton)

Friday 11/9 at 6pm
Latin American Community Center (Wilmington)

Sunday 11/11 at 2pm
Dover Public Library (Dover)

Tuesday 11/13 at 5:30pm
Group performance for Georgetown-area substance abuse treatment facilities (Georgetown Public Library)

Wednesday 11/14 at 6pm
Polytech Adult High School (Woodside)

Friday 11/16 at 2pm
Delaware Psychiatric Center (Wilmington)

NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC: Baylor Women’s Correctional Institution, Howard R. Young Correctional Institution, Sussex Correctional Institution 

And don’t forget: SHAKESPEARE IS FUN!

Photo credit: Jaime Javier Hernandez

God bless,
Jason

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Don’t Teach Your Child to Read

My boys have found their own roads to success every time I’ve gotten out of the way. My job is to litter the sides of the road with resources for easy access. Make things available and voluntary and children will be excited and learning just by digging through what you’ve left them.

I struggle with screen time, but Teach Your Monster to Read is an online reading game that my younger really took to. There’s no app, but it’s free and he could play it on his own early in his reading development.

I fought (literally, yelling) with my older to read things I knew he could. I panicked that I was killing his love for stories and words and I backed off big time. I still read aloud, went to story time, and played lots of audio books in the car, but I stopped “teaching” completely. Within months he (and his younger brother!) was picking up books beyond what I would have introduced.

God bless,
Jason

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Maximum #Unschool Friday

Registered our FLL Jr. team, Delaware International Moon Mission (yes, D.I.M.M.), for our very first FIRST Expo with Hornet City Robotics; off to a homeschooler-organized tour of Wharton Esherick Museum in Malvern, Pennsylvania, this morning; then to family camping to make fire, pitch tents, pick up bugs, find danger, fish, play, hike, get dirty, stay up too late, pick up litter, make friends, cook new things, stack wood, and make more fire.

Education happens everywhere, at all times, if you allow it. Don’t permit society to tell you when, where, nor how your children should learn and when, where, nor how they shouldn’t.

God bless,
Jason

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Weekend Picks: October 19-21, 2018

Blue Ball Barn at Alapocas State Park

Friday, October 19, 5:00 to 8:00 pm
Stone Shakers at Foodie Friday
The weather looks perfectly autumnal for a family-friendly night of fun tunes and great food at Blue Ball Barn.

The October Foodie Friday features food for purchase from WiLDWiCH, KOI on the GO, and Nude Food. These three food trucks will be competing in a $5 small plate challenge. Vote for your favorite at the Delaware Center for Horticulture table, who are joining us as this month’s partner non-profit organization. The Friends of Wilmington Parks will be selling beverages to wash down your snacks while you listen to the Stone Shakers Band play a variety of unique covers of classics and original songs.

Be sure to take a walk through the Blue Ball Barn to visit the Delaware Folk Art collection and to learn more about the origins of the property. Inside you will also find local artists displaying and selling their handmade creations. This is a great opportunity to get a jump start on your holiday shopping and find some truly one-of-a-kind pieces from Delaware area artists. Featured artists include Eric Zippe, Tim Gibbs, Nicole Kristiana Studio, and Connie Newby.

$5 entry fee per adult, gate fee is waived for this event. Family and pet-friendly. Kids 16 and under are free.

Lums Pond State Park

Saturday, October 20, 12:00 to 3:00 pm
Harvest Hayride and Crafts at the Nature Center
Join us for a fun afternoon of hayrides and fall crafts at the nature center! Cost is $5 per person which includes a short hayride and nature center crafts. Park entrance fee in effect. Please pre-register by calling (302)368-6989

Battery Park

Sunday, October 21, 11:30 am to 4:00 pm
Tour or Sail the Skipjack Sigsbee
This weekend New Castle welcomes the Skipjack Sigsbee.
11:30 am to 1:00 pm free deck tours, with a family friendly sail from 2:00 to 4:00 pm. $15 for children, $25 for adults, $20 for seniors. Bring your own food and/or beverages.

God bless,
Jason

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Listening In: Matt Lewis with Andy Crouch on Putting Technology in its Proper Place

Matt Lewis recently spoke with Andy Crouch about his new book, The Tech-Wise Family.

Mr. Crouch has ten rules with implementable recommendations for how to take control of the devices that are running your life. Some are easier than others, but it wasn’t until the end of the conversation that the message spoke to me.

Rule #10: We show up in person for the big events of life, we learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability, we hope to die in one another’s arms.

My late wife was present. She didn’t have a smart phone and her tablet was tucked away most of the time. She spent her working hours in front of a screen and spent every other possible moment with her friends and family.

At the very end of her life, the machines were disconnected, the lights were lowered, and she was surrounded by loved ones. It wasn’t planned, it was just right.

I’m working to reach that Mary-level of presence. It takes conscious effort as I try to find income online and quell an uneasy loneliness. I’m trying to connect with people on professional and personal terms, but not neglect my sons and the attention that they deserve from me at this time.

I type all this as they sleep and I hope to finish before they wake. I pledge to be present today and make a renewed commitment to show up for the big events of life.

God bless,
Jason

Hear the whole conversation with Mr. Crouch here and subscribe to Matt Lewis and the News on iTunes, Stitcher, or my favorite podcast app, Overcast.