My name is Jason Zerbey. In my 39th year I found Jesus and lost my wife, Mary Zerbey.
We were home educating our 6- and 8-year-old boys. I was the lead educator and Mary supported us financially through her job, emotionally through her love, and spiritually through her spirit.
Now I’m trying to puzzle together our new life without her. She provided too much to replace, but more than we need to celebrate her legacy through our exploits.
I stopped drinking, but I still can’t speak clearly. “We” used to cover it all. No matter if I was on my own or in any temporal combination of Zerbeys, it was always, “We went here ,” “We did this,” “We decided that…” Everything was as a team. The Zerbey Three are still a team, but there’s now an “I” that has to show up.
I’m very much out of “I” practice.
With many blessings, we are surrounded by amazing communities here in Delaware and worldwide who are uplifting that “I.” Even so, I can’t decide whether they are “my boys” or “our boys.” Context seems to matter, but I have learned to listen to my heart more closely than I do the Chicago Manual of Style or Grammar Girl.
We Zerbey Three still feel Mary working in our lives. God has taken her body, but He’s left us her nearly boundless love. We’re on this new journey with Mary and for Mary.
So if you catch me using an awkward-sounding “we,” don’t worry, it’s not denial, it’s truth.
God bless,
Jason